Links from this episode
The Answer Room Audio: www.theimpostermonster.com
Anthony's Website: www.theanthonyserino.com
Anthony's Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/anthony.serino
Anthony's Facebook Group, Inside the Identity Factor: www.facebook.com/groups/theidentityfactor
Get trained by Mike Mandel: https://mikemandelhypnosis.com/join-mmha/
Get trained by Jason Linett: https://hypnoticworkers.com
Dan Candell's Website: https://dancandell.com/
Dan Candell's Interview with Lori: https://www.trancypants.com/DanCandell
Jacquin Hypnosis Academy: https://www.jacquinhypnosisacademy.com/
Freddy Jacquin's Blink and Delete Technique: https://vimeo.com/498884218
The Alter Ego Effect by Todd Herman: https://amzn.to/3sOfOsk
My Gift To You ❤
Here's my powerful hypnosis audio, THE ANSWER ROOM, that lets you find clarity and direction for important decisions.
If you were haunted and harassed by your own inner critic, if you've ever been curious about why hypnosis works so well, if you're a seasoned hypnotist, or if you suspect that the inner critic is actually hypnotizing you to hold back from reaching the greatness that you know, deep down is inside you, lean in and get inspired to get out of your comfort zone and create your one precious life with purpose and intention. If you like this show, you'll love my powerful hypnosis audio, the answer room, because it gives you crystal clear guidance and direction and illuminates an ingenious way to make triumphant decisions.
No matter how stuck you feel or how confused you were. This powerful hypnosis audio is my gift to you. When you go to the imposter monster.com again, that's the imposter monster.com. Don't forget the, the, the imposter monster.com. And yes, I'm done saying it. Thank you. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart for listening. I'm Lori Hammond, and I'm truly grateful for you. My guest today is Anthony Serino, habit modification expert. Anthony believes that a person can change their life and even change on an identity level by changing their habits.
0 (1m 30s):
He teaches a science based method for eliminating bad habits and developing new ones lean in and enjoy this conversation where Anthony gives you tools and techniques for increasing confidence and silencing your imposter monster so that you can take forward. Action. I hope you'd love this conversation as much as I did. I am so grateful to be meeting with you, Anthony. You actually reached out to me several months ago. It's maybe even been up to a year ago now and asked to have a call with me. And I, I love that that you and I got to connect and get to know one another a little bit. And since that time it has been so awesome for me to watch your journey and watch you just absolutely skyrocket on social media and on the different platforms where you're engaged.
0 (2m 20s):
So I would love for you just to explain, just tell us about yourself, what you do, why you do it and let us know anything you'd like us to know.
1 (2m 28s):
Absolutely. Yeah. Thanks for having me on Lori. And I mean, part of why I resonated with you so much and wanted to reach out so many months ago was because of your own story, right? You lost a bunch of weight and that's actually how I got into this industry. How I found hypnosis was through Mike Mandel, who a lot of us know and love. And yeah, I mean, I, I lost 80 pounds in six months after seeing Mike one time. And that was the moment when I realized that hypnosis is in this like, or magical thing. There's something to it because before that I would have laughed in your face. If he told me to go see a hypnotist, but since then, I've, I've gotten over my fear of flying.
1 (3m 10s):
I had crippling health anxiety, and it was all through hypnosis that I was able to make those rapid changes. And I just decided that, Hey, if it can work for me to work for anybody as, as the old saying hoes, right? And so I dedicated my life to training in it. I w want to study with Mike Mendell, I've studied with Jason Lanette and then other certifications. And now here I am helping, helping people change their own habits and beliefs.
2 (3m 34s):
I love that so much. We do have such similar stories because for me, I came to hypnosis just as a last ditch effort for help with my weight. And it was so transformational on so many levels that I thought, this is, this is my mission. This is what I've been looking for. Will you talk to me about what maybe even share a little bit about what happened inside that session that really gave you that aha moment that sparked such a transformation for you?
1 (4m 3s):
Yeah, it's funny. I have quite a bit of amnesia for the actual, the actual session. Although I do remember some themes and topics from it. The biggest thing for me looking back was that I didn't just shift my habits. I didn't just shift what I was doing. I shifted my identity and I've gone all in on that, even with my own clients in facilitating that shift. Because if we don't shift at an identity level, everything else, isn't going to fall into place unless we do that first. And so what I realized is I went from being the big guy to the athletic guy. I think I, who just needs to lose weight. So instead of being the overweight person who wants to lose weight, I shifted that identity so that my habits and my behaviors could be more congruent.
1 (4m 46s):
Cause I realized my whole life, I was told, Oh, it's okay to be big. It's okay to be overweight. Your whole family's big. And then you hear things like, you know, finish all the food on your plate. They're starving kids somewhere. And we get all these suggestions that, that were given as kids. And it kind of forms this identity about who we are. And that's why I call myself the habit modification expert, because although I'm helping people shift habits, I'm only doing that by way of shifting their identity. So that's kind of the chain, how the change happened for me.
2 (5m 16s):
I love that. And I so agree with you that it's that identity level shift that changes everything. And one thing that's standing out to me is I think sometimes when we think about changing it on an identity level, it feels like this big monumental task. And I hear you saying that some of that, that shift kind of took place in a single session with Mike Mandell. So confirm if that's true and then let me know. Do you feel like you were aware of what had happened inside that session or was it kind of a gradual progression where you, you noticed more and more transformation after the session?
1 (5m 54s):
Yeah, to be completely honest, I didn't think it worked whatever that means. Right. I, I kinda, I cringe sometimes now when I hear that as, as a practitioner myself, but what, I didn't have that realization until I had already lost the weight and looking back, I knew something happened and I had to, I had to see what that was and it was that shift in identity. It wasn't, I wasn't trying to die anymore. I wasn't trying to change my habits around eating it. Just everything started coming naturally because I was no longer that big guy. I was a healthy, you know, young individual who was capable of getting back to a fit in, you know, normal weight self. So it was afterwards would definitely right afterwards, I didn't think anything happened, but then the weight started coming off and you know, the proof is in the pudding, as they say,
2 (6m 41s):
I love that so much. That's one of the first things I learned from Mike Mandela when I trained with him is he talked about this thing called the apex problem, where you helped someone. And what I think is that, that the change that's generated when you're working with the unconscious mind happens in such an authentic core identity level way that the person just forgets that this isn't how they've always been. And I have realized more and more that, that, that apex problem is sort of the rule rather than the exception. And I'm wondering if you've seen that with your own clients and how you've dealt with that because I hear hypnotists saying all the time, what happens when they don't give me credit?
2 (7m 23s):
What happens when they don't realize why this change has happened?
1 (7m 26s):
Of course, yeah. That happens all the time, especially with change, that is less binary, right? So when I say binary, I mean like a smoker comes and we help them quit smoking through their smoking, or they're not smoking their either a smoker or a non-smoker. And that's pretty binary. When you get into like weight loss and identity shifts around being a bigger person or overweight it's multifaceted. And that new normal is easy to kind of think, Oh, this just happened. Right. This was my own doing. And so I often I deal with my own stress and like self doubt when I help someone and they don't, I don't want them to necessarily attribute it to me, obviously. Like I'm happy that they just got the change, but when they say they don't know that if it was because of the hypnosis or because of what we did together, it's normal to self, you know, second guess myself, but I see it time and time again.
1 (8m 17s):
And it's happened so often now that I'm like, Oh, it's just par for the course. So it's definitely, it's definitely the rule and not the exception.
2 (8m 25s):
I love that you said that. And one thing that stood out to me that you were talking about is how you're okay with them, not realizing it's you, that it was you, as long as they get the change. And I think that's such an important place to get as a change worker when we really tap into, you know, most of us, the reason we do this is because we really want to make a difference in the world. And when we're able to step back and say, okay, they're there make, they have made that switch. Even if it wasn't me, at least they're doing it and find the gratitude for that. It really to deal with them when they, when they don't realize that it was us. And a lot of times it might be down the road when they look back and say, Oh, I realized this is when all of that happened.
2 (9m 6s):
Sometimes when I'm doing my hypnosis session with them, I will even put a little thing, like a little bit of future pacing that says, okay, when you notice these changes, you're going to look back and realize that it happened now. And with that being said, I also, I don't think it's me. I don't think it's ever me. It's just, you know, you and I are the guide that helps them unlock that for themselves and do it for themselves.
1 (9m 29s):
Of course. Yeah. And I know that as you mentioned, you kind of weave that into your process. As far as future pacing them. I use a, a listing pattern to illustrate their results. And it may have been Jason that I learned this from, but I'll I'll for future paste them and say, Hey, you may come out of this session. And it may be like, you know, the blinders have been lifted off. You have this epiphany that everything has changed. And, you know, from this day forward that you've made the changes necessary today, or it might be a couple of weeks from now when you find yourself not doing that old thing that you used to be doing, and that kind of serves as a reminder that the change happened today, or you could go a few months from now and maybe it's someone else that reminds you that you've changed so much and you've become the new person that you want to become.
1 (10m 13s):
And that is going to be the reminder of the change taking place today. And usually they fall into one of those categories.
2 (10m 20s):
I love that. And it's valuable for them because then if they have another area that they want to work through in their own life, or they have a friend that they want to bring to that same transformation that they've received, they can remember the source and direct them back to you. Of course, of course. Yeah. Anthony, will you talk to me a little bit about your, your pro progression from hypnotic subject to hypnotist when you decided that you were going to do this work, you know, because this is a podcast around imposter syndrome. Will you talk to me about your own journey if imposter syndrome has reared its head in your career? And if so, what kind of mindsets have helped you move forward anyway?
1 (11m 5s):
Absolutely. So the first thing I'll say is imposter syndrome hits everybody, right? I mean, from the top 1% of the world to, you know, the nine to five, right, everybody's battling some form of imposter syndrome at some point. And I definitely had it starting off because you get into this and you have this, like what feels like a super power, right? Hypnosis feels like you could just, you could tap someone on the shoulder and change their life. And a lot of times we can, but I felt like I wasn't good enough. I didn't know enough. I didn't read enough books. I didn't take enough certification courses. Even though I was helping people, I would do free treatments or not free treatments, free sessions with people.
1 (11m 45s):
And they would have these dramatic results, friends and family. I would still not be convinced that what I was doing was right or that it was appropriate, that I even knew what I was doing. And it was like this vicious cycle. Right. Because some of them didn't realize it was the hypnosis because I wasn't confident about it. So why would they be confident about it? And I wasn't congruent. So, so then it's just like this vicious circle of imposter syndrome. I'm second guessing the results. And what I found though, was when I was able to be transparent with people and open and honest from the start, letting people know I was new, letting them know that I don't know everything, they respected me so much more.
1 (12m 27s):
And they were able to kind of just relax that much more into the process. So it started with being honest, I would say is probably how I got out of that pretty quickly.
2 (12m 35s):
I love that. So when you, when you started off that way and you just let them know I'm new at this, we're just going to, I don't know if you've maybe even employed some aspect of just try it out and see, I know for me, that's been really helpful. We were just going to see what happens. Was there a progression at some point where you went from that, from that feeling of a newbie to really being able to trust yourself and to come across as more confident and congruent?
1 (13m 3s):
Absolutely. So the moment that happened was when I realized that hypnosis isn't delicate, it's not this like elusive state. Everybody thinks all, if they open their eyes or if something happens or they hear a noise, or if I don't say the right thing that, you know, it's all everything's going to be ruined. And I remember I got out of a session with someone and I felt like I bombed it. I was like, I don't even know like who, who would experience change after that? And we didn't say anything afterwards, you kind of just like short debrief. And they, they texted me a few days later, like raving and ranting and thanking you so much. And that was the moment I was realizing, you know what? It's not about me. It's not about what I say.
1 (13m 44s):
It's about the client, their desire to change. And then being able to give themselves permission to change. And once I realized, that's kind of, all we do is hypnotist is we give someone permission, right. To change. That's going to happen regardless of what we say. And that's where I think the magic lies. And that's how, that's how that was the turning point. When I realized it's not about me, it's about the client.
2 (14m 6s):
Oh, that makes me so happy. Anyone who's listening back up and listened to the last two minutes of this and really get it into your bones because I've experienced the same thing, everything you said, where I get to the end of a session and I'm thinking, Oh, I bombed that. Why am I even doing this? I should go back to being a hairstylist. And then they'll send me this incredible testimonial and talk about how they've never picked up a cigarette again or whatever it is. And I'm, it's like, I'm thinking it worked. And it is that realization that it's, you're not, you're not a magician, even though we'd like to, for me, I imagine that I am at the start of these and it helps me get in the right head space. But I love that you said hypnosis, isn't delicate.
2 (14m 48s):
I'm going to ask Cassie when she edits this podcast to make, but the name of this episode is if that's okay with you, because I love that. And you had also mentioned that, you know, you had kind of struggled with the idea that you needed more, a few more certifications or a few more trainings or a few more practice sessions. And I really believe that the only way to get to that point where we realize that it's not about us, that we are just the guide, that's unlocking this for the client. I really think the only way to get there is to start before we're ready. If we wait until we're ready, we're we're never going to do it
1 (15m 23s):
A hundred percent. Yeah. I, as soon as I realized the, the onus of change was on the client and not me and that the process isn't delicate, I boosted my confidence like 10 fold overnight. But what I will say the most important thing I did and I encourage everybody to do this is if you're not practicing what you preach, you're, you're missing, you're missing a lot. And what I mean by that is if you're not seeing your own hypnotist, your own coach, your own mentor. For me, that was the biggest thing I had to work through my own self-worth issues, my own limiting beliefs in order to feel confident with my clients. So that's kind of as a PSA for everybody, the single best thing I did was invest in my own, my own, you know, removing my own crap.
1 (16m 8s):
You know? So that's, that's what I would do first and foremost.
2 (16m 12s):
I'm so grateful. You mentioned that I once was doing an in-person networking meeting with a group of people from all different professions. And I had a one-on-one meeting with a chiropractor and he, he, his model was that he has like six tables set up side by side, in an open room, and he'll adjust this person and have him sit for a minute, then go and adjust this person and then come back to this person. And he said that every week he will make sure he brings in one of his partners to adjust him in front of his clients. And he says, what, what kind of hypocrite would I be if they didn't see me getting adjusted as well? And that was such an aha moment for me, because I think one of, one of the things the imposter monster tries to say to us is that we can't do this until we've got all our stuff figured out.
2 (17m 0s):
And I found that for one thing, as I help others, it helps me as well. And I also really believe what you're saying, where when we're willing to reach out and admit that we haven't arrived and that we're not perfect. And we cultivate these, these relationships with other change workers that it really makes us a better coach, a better, a better leader, a better hypnotist to, to not act like we've got it all together.
1 (17m 28s):
Absolutely. And I, and I believe I'm a big advocate for self-hypnosis and, and doing the work on yourself. I do think there is something powerful about having someone else facilitate the process. And, you know, people may, you know, starting out, they may say, Oh, I don't have the money to hire my own hypnotist right now, or, or whatever number of excuses you have. There's always a, whether you could trade sessions, we're all part of a more than generous community. And if there's obviously a bunch of hypnotists listening to this, I'm sure I would encourage them to reach out to people and trade those sessions and, and start working on those limiting beliefs. Because if they're not fixing their own crap internally, they're not going to be as effective for their clients.
1 (18m 9s):
So that's, that's probably my biggest pieces of advice for anybody. Any business is to have a mentor, have a coach.
2 (18m 14s):
I love that. And I eat, I totally agree that there are always people you can find to trade sessions with. And I have experienced some of the most profound sessions during practice sessions with complete newbies, who they were literally reading a script for the first time and didn't even know what they were doing. And I, I received a transformational result. So I think it's important to do that. And I also think when you get to a point where it might be a little bit of a stretch on your pocket book to hire someone who is perhaps, you know, like the Dan candles and the Mike Mandel's, who are, have pricier sessions, when you find a way to dig deep and make that investment in yourself, it helps you understand the value of encouraging your own clients to pay a premium rate.
2 (19m 2s):
And it makes you feel, it makes you understand what you're worth, even, even more.
1 (19m 8s):
Absolutely. And you know, as the old saying goes to you, by the way you sell or you sell the way you buy, right? So if you're not willing to invest in your own self-help and not in your growth, why would anybody else, you know, want to do that with you? And I, I struggled with that because I wanted, I'm the type of guy I've relentless, relentlessly raised my prices because I see the value on and how we change people's lives and they get an ROI. It's an investment, right? I know when someone gives me money, I work with a lot of entrepreneurs and athletes. They're going to make more money. They're going to help more people. And that's why I charge what I do. But when I tried to do that originally, I wasn't paying a coach. I wasn't paying a mentor. And I was like, Oh, I don't want to pay that much money. And then I had to sit back and if I'm not willing to do that, why would my clients or potential clients want to pay me?
1 (19m 53s):
And that shift happened when I started, like I said, buying the way I wanted to sell.
2 (19m 59s):
I think that's a really important point. And I've noticed the same thing in my own journey where the more I am willing to invest in premium change workers, the more willing I am to price myself as one, will you talk to me a little bit about maybe your business model and how you work with people? Do you mostly do one-on-one sessions or what, what is, how is that structured?
1 (20m 21s):
Sure. And yeah, I'm always open about this. And I actually, I think there needs to be more transparency in our industry, especially about pricing, especially about how much people are making. And I don't think people should be afraid to announce that because I think as Jason says that the more successful we all are, the more successful we all are. And I think the whole industry as a whole needs to raise their prices. And I may be little controversial to some people, but I charge a significant amount more than a lot of hypnotists. And it's going to be easier as a whole for all of us to raise our prices. If all of us raise our prices. And that starts with, like I said, working on those limiting beliefs.
1 (21m 4s):
So self-worth issues because what we're doing and the changes that we facilitate are massive. I can't emphasize that enough. And the way I work with people is on a, a per result basis, right? So I don't charge per session. I charge per result. And I also offer a lifetime service guarantee with that. So if someone comes to me for smoking, I'll be transparent here at church, $1,500 for a smoking cessation program, they get a lifetime service guarantee and they get as many sessions as they need. So they're paying me $1,500, whether it takes one session or it takes four sessions. And if they have to call me back in two years, because they need a tune-up, I'll do that.
1 (21m 47s):
And then I also work with like my entrepreneurs and athletes that I work with it's on a monthly basis. So I work with them biweekly and I charge them a monthly fee.
2 (21m 58s):
I love that. Thank you for sharing that. Yeah. Will you talk to me a little bit about how you are utilizing social media to essentially, I always say build an audience, but I don't know if that necessarily resonates with people who are just trying to build, you know, a PR have a book schedule as a practitioner, but I have seen you doing phenomenal things on social media and most recently on clubhouse, which is a brand new platform, at least for me, that I've been having a blast, trying to figure out how it works.
1 (22m 30s):
Yeah. So I really tried to get involved with Facebook over the past six months or so. And my main goal was to build a community via, you know, a private Facebook group that would be funneled from my podcast. So the podcast I figured would cast the widest net and then funnel people from there to the private community, provide as much value as possible and do what's now called attraction marketing, right? Just give as much as possible, give away everything. And then the people that want to work with you and the people who want to do it faster are going to pay you to do that. And sure enough, building that community. And honestly, if I'm auditing myself right now, I don't do that good of a job in my Facebook group.
1 (23m 11s):
And I need to, I strive to be like you and like Dan Kendall, who is constantly online, constantly doing live videos. And, but even so even putting in, let's say 50% effort into my group, I've been able to monetize it because people have seen the value. They want it done faster. They want to change their lives and they see that it can work. And so then I just reach out to them or they reach out to me, we start a conversation. And the more conversations you have, the more clients you're going to have, and it starts with just being genuine, transparent, and just being of service to people. So that's kind of how I approach Facebook and social media. I love that.
2 (23m 46s):
I love that you use the term attraction marketing because I've never thought of it that way, but that's such a great way to put it for me. I tell people that the reason you're on social media is to build rapport is to help people start to equate you with the person that they know like and trust. And even more importantly, someone who brings value. I think if we, so many people are afraid of like sharing their secrets or giving away too many tools. And I don't think we can. I think the more we help people feel loved and supported and give them tools that work. The more that they'll recognize that we're a person who they can come to when they really need a breakthrough in a certain area of their life.
2 (24m 26s):
And one thing you said, it made me laugh because you mentioned how myself and Dan Kendall and I agreed Dan Kendall is killing it. But when you lumped me with him, I'm like, Oh my gosh, I haven't made, I've made like three videos in the last month. Sometimes I'm super consistent and sometimes I'm not. And I've been telling people in my mentoring group, if you employ these 5% of the time, it's going to skyrocket your success. Because I don't even know if I'm consistent 50% of the time, but during those little pop pockets of time where I am consistent and where I deliver value and where I put my face on social media, even though I don't want to, I see my business just skyrocket.
2 (25m 8s):
And so you're actually one of those people that I've wanted to model more. As I watch, I feel like I always see notifications that says Anthony is going, going live in his group. And I'm like, man, that guy is just on fire. So for you to say, you know, this is just, I want to be candid about this because I know there's people listening who are looking at other hypnotists and thinking that they're just killing it when maybe they're, they're struggling themselves. So it's taking imperfect action is so important. You don't have to wait until you're ready. You don't have to wait until you have one more certification. You don't have to wait until you can be relentlessly consistent, just get started.
1 (25m 46s):
Of course. And it's the same way we learn to ride a bike or drive a car. You do, you, you learn by doing and it's okay if some lives, you know, flop and you don't say the right thing, that's the beauty of the delete button. You know, you know, I always, I always approach the internet as though everything's permanent once it's on there, but for the most part, things can be deleted and it doesn't have to go out to the masses afterwards. So yeah, I think ideally I see that a lot, people come to me, business owners of all different industries. They're, they're worried about putting themselves out there. They're worried that they're not going to know what they're talking about when they do, like, if they can do it in a one-on-one setting with their client, they can do it on a one to many basis on social media.
1 (26m 29s):
And it's just about getting comfortable. And like you said, just taking imperfect action and deciding to do it.
2 (26m 35s):
I love that. I was just talking to Mike Mandel a few days ago. And he mentioned that he had been brought in as an expert on, on lots of different forensic cases. And he said, he's never been in front of a judge and jury, but he, he found out that the definition of an expert witness is someone who knows more about the subject than the judge and jury. And he said, when you understand that it, that you can position yourself as an expert, if you know, more than the average person, I know some people are so scared to call themselves an expert. And I heard cliff, Ravenscraft say a few weeks ago that the average person reads something like five books. Once they've, once they've graduated college, they stop reading.
2 (27m 18s):
So if you've even read a few books on your subject matter, that makes you an expert in that field, as long as you're a few steps ahead. And you're like you said, you're just being honest and open and vulnerable in saying, I'm not sure if this is, you know, I don't necessarily have all the answers, but I'm going to do my best to guide you where you want to be. I think people really appreciate that level of honesty and vulnerability
1 (27m 42s):
A hundred percent. And it's just, it's crazy because like, I like my let's put it this way. My last three lives, I think I've done on Facebook all three times. I've started, I forgot to turn my audio on and I've done like four minutes of me just like blabbing to the camera and people commenting and me and not seeing it where like, yeah, I used to be embarrassed about that, but now I'm just like, Oh, now it's an opportunity to get even better. Actually. Maybe I, maybe I said something I didn't want to say, and now I can refine it. So I've always said that failure is refinement. And I genuinely believe that. And the biggest thing too, is that just getting out there and putting yourself out there, people are gonna respect you for it. Right? People, people dream of being able to do that.
1 (28m 25s):
And by you being vulnerable, you're actually inspiring people to take their own action and change their own lives. So that's, that's, that's how I approach it.
2 (28m 33s):
I love that. And I so agree. A few weeks ago, I put a video on Facebook. It was an interview that I had done with dairy cook and I accidentally clicked the wrong file. And that video was up for two weeks before somebody messaged me and said, do you realize that there's two minutes of you being silent and fluffing your hair? That's all it is because it was a part that I had edited out. So I'm waiting for dairy to get on and making sure my hair is okay. And I'm just glad I didn't pick my nose. This was, you know what, it's on YouTube.
1 (29m 5s):
It's funny you say that because actually you're the reason I remember you, you bringing that to light. And you're the reason why I don't do my hair now in front of my, my zoom camera before a client. So no, I'm just teasing, but seriously though, people in going back to that whole expert thing, you don't have to be the expert. You just have to be a expert to whoever it is you're talking to. And all, all the takes to be an expert to someone is knowing more than they do about the topic you're talking about. And you can add value to their lives and you can help them. And you, because you're providing them information they didn't have before. So I absolutely love that.
2 (29m 43s):
Anthony, will you talk to me a little bit more about the thought process or the mindset shifts that you have gone through as you found a willingness to continue to raise your prices? Because you've touched on that. And I think that's a really valuable thing. I think the best person to learn those kinds of things from is people who have done it and I see you doing it. So if you would just expand on that a little bit, I think it'd be so valuable to the listener
3 (30m 11s):
For sure. And this, this is quite apropos because of the name of the podcast, imposter monster, right? And I had to work through my imposter syndrome first, before I was ever able to consistently keep my prices elevated. And that started with, like I said, being honest. So the first thing I always ask people who are struggling with imposter syndrome is I asked them, where are you deceiving yourself or other people? Because a lot of us are told to fake it till we make it. And I think that is the worst advice you can be given, or because if you execute on that, if you fake it till you make it you're, you are, you're acting as a fraud.
3 (30m 51s):
And that's what the definition of imposter syndrome is, is to, is to feel like a fraud and not know what you're doing. So I had to stop lying to myself. I had to stop lying to people. I would, I would inflate, you know what? I was charging people like I would say like, Oh, I'm making this much money. I have this many clients. I wasn't doing it maliciously. I was doing it. Cause that's what I was told. You have to act as if right, you have to manifest it and see yourself in the outcome. So I thought that telling people like, Oh, I have these many clients and I charge this much money and I've had all these awesome results. Like I thought that was the way to do it. But I realized that was just perpetuating that self doubt and that overwhelm because I wasn't actually that person yet.
3 (31m 31s):
So that's the first step is coming, clean, being honest. And that includes both to yourself and to others. And then really, if that is all taken care of, if you're not deceiving yourself and you're not deceiving others figure out what you want to be known for. I had to figure out why I wanted clients to want my help, what I wanted to be respected and known for. And that was, you know, honesty and, and, and, and my, my giving nature and my, my generosity. So what I then did was I took inventory of all the times in my life, as many as possible that I've been generous and honest. Right. And so what someone, a very practical tips I'm going to do is figure out what they want to be known for, and then figure out maybe 20 to 30 times make a list in their lives.
3 (32m 20s):
That they've been that thing the times that they've been honest, that they've been caring. And what this does is it gives our brain information to the contrary, right. Where before we were self-doubting ourselves, if we were able to do that, but now we give it evidence to show that we have been honest, we have been generous. Hopefully. Does that make sense?
2 (32m 38s):
It totally makes
3 (32m 41s):
So, yeah, that's, that's how I got through it was one coming clean and two taking inventory of all the times that I was actually executing on what I'd say. I didn't execute on all the times. I've been honest and yeah, it kinda, it kinda squashed everything from there
2 (32m 55s):
That I love that I that's an unexpected answer. And it's, so it's such a beautiful answer. I don't think anyone has said that before. So thanks. Yeah.
3 (33m 4s):
I think a lot, I think a lot of people lie to themselves and I, like I said, my, my part, it wasn't malicious. It wasn't intentional. It wasn't in, like I said, intended to deceive. And I think a lot of people listening can resonate will resonate with that because once you start actually analyzing those things that you're saying to other selves and that self-talk, you realize the incongruencies and that's actually, what's perpetuating that, those feelings of self doubt and feeling like an imposter.
2 (33m 34s):
I love that because when we're, when we're inflating what we're doing, and we're speaking as if, but maybe it's not, what's really happening. It's like, there's this little part of us that say, huh. Ah, so, and we know better, but for us, I love the way you said, look back. And I, what I wrote in my notes, as you were speaking, was tuned your reticular activating system to remember all the times you've been that thing. So then you stop inflating this, this idea, and you start actually realizing, okay, I am this way in some way. I wish that I would have heard this advice from you way long, a long time ago when I started raising my prices, because it was so scary for me.
2 (34m 15s):
And I was almost thinking, okay, if, if this person is doing it and this person is doing it, I can do it. But it was really scary. And if I had looked back and thought, okay, when I was a hairstylist, I started my career at a high-end salon and I modeled an apprentice under a master hairstylist. So I, you know, I learned how to do it from the master as you and I did from Mike Mandel and Jason Lynette and those people. But then I started out as an alpha hairstylist. My haircuts were $20. And then I graduated up to the next level and the next level, and this was my boss telling me to do this. So I had to raise my prices and it was so hard for me. And by the time I ended my career, I was a master hairstylist charging premium prices.
2 (34m 59s):
And so to look, and I have used this somewhat as I've moved up as a hypnotist, understanding the imposter monster, I felt as a hairstylist and saying, okay, if, if I could do this and feel this as a master hairstylist and do it anyway, then I can do this as a hypnotist. So I love that you shined a spotlight on that.
3 (35m 18s):
Awesome. No, that's, that's a great anecdotal story there about how you can actually use the evidence that you've already given yourself there. They've already experienced to give the evidence to your brain. And like you said, he reticular activating system to shut it up, you know, and to prove otherwise. And I think that's important to do take stock inventory of all the,
1 (35m 38s):
All of the positive things you've accomplished in your life. It's going to happen. It's going to pay dividends for sure.
2 (35m 45s):
Is there anything else that we haven't talked about that you feel would be really valuable for perhaps someone who is struggling with imposter syndrome and struggling with feeling a worthiness to get out there and share this message? Anything else you'd like them to know?
1 (35m 59s):
Sure. So I just want to reiterate the, the, the steps I just gave are super practical and very easy to do, but you have to do it. Sit there, right? All those times. Now that you've done, you've done that thing. Or you've been that person that you want to be and, and give your brain evidence, stop lying, right? Stop lying to yourself and to others. And also, you know, work with somebody, go to another hypnotist, go to a coach, even a therapist. If you, if you're more comfortable with therapy on yourself, go do that. Right. But do something to work through those limiting beliefs and to work through that self doubt. Because as we know, those are just programming programs running in, are running in our head.
1 (36m 40s):
Our mind is just running these things automatically, and they're not just going to go away. Too many people try to use willpower and, and brute force to get rid of those habits and behaviors. But it starts with that identity shift and really changing those beliefs and those things that have happened to us in the past. And on that note, I just want to, I want to talk about habits real quick, because everybody tries, everybody tries to change what they're doing. And everybody says, Oh, if I, if I had more time, if I had more energy, then I could do this thing. And then I would be successful. Then I would be happy. Then I would be fit. Here's the thing. If you're not that type of person who would do those things or have that sort of life, you'll never do or have those things because your habits are always going to be congruent with who you are with that self-image.
1 (37m 28s):
And if we, if we go back and we actually look at the word habits, it comes from the word habit limits, right? So if you think about horseback riders or, or nuns habits, it's what they were. And that gives us insight into what the word habit actually means. And having a habit means those habits fit us. They're, they're actually designed for our identity, and they're always going to be congruent with who we are and how we're being. So if you don't change that identity, your you're is going to be very difficult to change your habits. So that would be my, my main message to everybody is looking at who and how you're being. Cause most of us don't wake up in the morning and say, Oh, this is how I want to be today.
1 (38m 8s):
Or I'm going to be, you know, the big guy or I'm going to be, you know, the stressed out hypnotist. You know, we don't think that way, but it's important to start there.
2 (38m 18s):
Do you have any tips for a person who, who understands the value of what you're saying understands the importance of changing on an identity level, but maybe doesn't have the first notion of how to do it. What would, what advice would you give them or is that diving too much into the way you work with your clients?
1 (38m 35s):
Like that goes back to either having someone help facilitate this process. But for me, I use regression quite often. It's just, it's one of the tools in my toolbox. And I, I do a more stripped down version kind of like the Jacquelyn's timeline approach, but I think it's important to go back to those times that we learned our beliefs and our behaviors, because we learn to be who we are today. We weren't born with any of the beliefs we have, we weren't born with the habits we have. We weren't born with any of the fear or anxiety at some point, our brain learned it. Right? So to me, the most logical next step to getting rid of all that crap is to go back to when it happened and change the way the brain is firing in that moment, give our younger self, the love and affection that it needed at the time or the understanding and that information make the brain fire differently.
1 (39m 27s):
And then obviously we could get into the talk of neuro-plasticity and how that works, but that's really, in my mind, the catalyst for hypnosis working is our brain's ability to learn these new habits and beliefs.
2 (39m 39s):
I absolutely love that. I, Freddie Jaquin just sent me last week, a new protocol that he's put together called the Jaquin blink and delete technique. And so anyone who wants to Google that it's talking about exactly what Anthony is saying, where you go back and you figure out when did I form that limiting belief about myself? When did I decide that I was going to believe that I'm not good enough or whatever it is, and then go back and visit that occasion as your adult self, with all the wisdom that you not now have. And then he said, and then just decide that you're going to delete it blink twice and delete that. So in the same way that you talked about at the beginning, how that one session with Mike Vandal created a CA it was a catalyst for an identity level shift.
2 (40m 22s):
I think understanding that it can be easier than we realize can be really helpful. And also that we have our own blind spots. So having someone else partner with us in this journey, finding a coach, a therapist, the hypnotist to help you with it can be so incredibly helpful,
1 (40m 40s):
A hundred percent. And, and Laurie change can obviously happen in an instant, right? I mean, people, if anybody ever that has been cheated on, or they got bad news or whatever, it may be, their lives very literally changed in a moment. And the same thing could happen. Even in our conversation today, maybe someone has heard something that we said, and it's just resonated. It's been that aha moment. And I want to say, Chris Thompson actually explained maybe what he thought a hot and a hot moment was. Maybe it wasn't from him. But I agree that in a hot moment is when something is both that sense of wonder, like it triggers that sense of wonder, and that sense of knowing all at the same time. And that, that is when I think the belief shift happens instantaneously.
1 (41m 24s):
And we can actually intentionally do that with hypnosis.
2 (41m 28s):
I love that. This is, so this is so great. One little thing I want to interject, and I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Have you read the book, the alter ego? I have not, I can't remember off hand. I want to see maybe it's Todd Herman. And he, he has this book where he has people step into an alter ego and, you know, he might have, I think he referenced the woman who wrote was a horseback rider. I think she might've wrote ridden horses for a show. I don't, I'm not familiar with this hobby. So I'm probably butchering them description, but she was feeling insecure. And, and she thought about a person who would be really confident at this.
2 (42m 9s):
And she thought of wonder woman. And so she imagined herself wonder woman when she was on this horse. And Todd Herman says in his book, he said, he says, a lot of people think this is a fake it till you make it thing, but this is different where by modeling someone who's already doing it. Well, you were actually unlocking those attributes that are lying dormant inside you. And the amazing thing is if you can conceive of it and you can try it on as your own habit, it means that it's something that is, it's, it's something that is inside of you. And it's just been underutilized. It's something that you can create a habit out of. So I love, you know, if a person maybe is struggling with the idea of upping their prices or of even stepping into hypnosis as a career or following any other dream, if you can't look back in your reserves and find something that lines up from your past with you being able to do this, perhaps you can model another person and just try on those behaviors, not with any kind of, of inflated lying that goes along with it, but just trying on what if I could be confident and trying on that confidence.
1 (43m 18s):
Absolutely. And yeah, you just alluded to this too, is the way they're feeling, not just what they're doing. I'm, I'm a big advocate for modeling success and, and expertise. And I think about even like when I learned to golf, right, I just picked it up a few years ago and I learned the basic protocols and techniques and how to swing and the grip and all those things. I, I knew how to do it, but I couldn't, I couldn't really get it right. It just didn't feel right to me. And so I went to someone who was really good person who probably could have played professionally in another life. And what is it, know how he felt, I wanted to know what was the feeling when he hit a good shot or he was set up correctly, not really the mechanics.
1 (44m 2s):
I wanted to know what that, what that felt like. And I think stepping into the feeling is probably the most important part, because as long as you, if you feel successful or you feel like you're gonna hit that right shot, or you feel like you're going to sell to that client and help them, your mind is going to make it happen, regardless of if, if the in between is, is like a hundred percent, right. Quote unquote, you know, so tapping into the feeling that you want to model, I think is important.
2 (44m 28s):
I love that. I so agree. Do you use this, have you, in the past, use this inside your hypnosis sessions when you meet with the client and you want to get a certain outcome for them?
1 (44m 39s):
For sure. I mean, I, I think that comes naturally with future pacing people into their ideal life or ideal environment. And I, I'm always checking, I think a big thing in the process to always check into how they're feeling and then amplify the good. And if it's something negative or bad to them go in that direction. But the moment someone says, Oh, this feels really good. Or I feel really confident, use it, anchor it, you know, increase it, whatever you have to do to really build on that. And I think that just compounds the effect and I guess some amazing results because of that,
2 (45m 15s):
I agree 100%. I love that. That is so awesome. Anthony, if a person is perhaps wanting to get some extra coaching or, or some help with any of the things that we've talked about, are you available to help with that? And if so, what's the best way for them to get ahold of you?
1 (45m 32s):
Sure, absolutely. So I'm always happy to help, especially even if someone in the community wants to reach out and have a conversation. I, I love talking about this and as most of us do, right, we're all in all the time and, and it wakes us up in the morning. So I'm more than happy to talk to anybody. If someone needs more extensive help or, or wants more of an intimate setting to chat, they can definitely reach out either on Facebook or can go to the Anthony serino.com is, sounds a little pretentious, but Anthony soreno.com wasn't available. So I'm now the Anthony Serino. And so that's the best way to reach out.
2 (46m 9s):
I love that Lori hammond.com is taken too. So maybe I'll I'll copy cat that. Okay. So my last cliff note, if, if this is an okay path to go down, this has completely gratuitous for me is I have been watching you on clubhouse. And this is this brand new app. And I've seen your, your followers skyrocket at least. You know, when you look at this little hypnosis community, that's just starting to be represented there. Can you tell me about any best habits, best practices for clubhouse? And this is even something I can edit out later if it doesn't seem like it would apply to others, but I would love to just get a sneak peek at what you're doing.
1 (46m 51s):
Okay. So I'm going to be a little blunt. Is that okay? Yes, please. All right. For anybody on clubhouse, unless you're a household name, no one cares about your story. And I, and I, and I don't, I don't say that like to belittle what people have been through or why they are, where they are, and you can give people on clubhouse, you can give them a little background, but I find people are using it as like this soap box to just like, to like air their dirty laundry, to tell them why they got into what they did. And first, I just seen a disconnect where if you're not a household name or you're not someone well-known in the coaching or personal development, most people don't care too much.
1 (47m 32s):
They, they want the value. And what I focus first and foremost is providing value and being concise. I want, I want high impact and concise to align because our attention spans are so minimal that when people go on and on, on clubhouse, I see people, you can see, I mean, people could test this for themselves. Notice when someone's talking too long on there and see how many people leave the room. But when people are kind of like answered, you just go in 30 to 60 seconds, people are more apt to stay and engage. So my advice, keep it concise, focus on impact first on providing value and leave the story for, if someone asks you about your story.
2 (48m 18s):
I love that. I so agree. I've I've only been on there a couple of weeks and I have been so busy in my life that I've had to force myself not to dive in too often, but I've seen the same thing when people are succinct. And it's more about giving value than helping people see how cool you are, which is really a great strategy across the board. People don't care how cool you are. They care how cool you make them feel. So are you hosting, are you hosting your own rooms or are you going into other rooms and offering value or a little bit of both.
1 (48m 51s):
So I've been mostly hopping in and out of rooms that I find interesting and providing value. And I'm always willing to take action and raise my hand and, and get on stage. Even if I don't know what I'm going to talk about or ask, I'll figure it out along the way. Because as soon as you get on and you're speaking, people are gonna start following you. They're going to check out your Instagram. They're going to reach out to you. I thought it was really cool when we had that. We did like a, this group coaching session for Melissa member. Melissa was so fun. So I actually just got a chance to do a session with her. One-on-one I think it was yesterday. It was her birthday. She turned 50 years old. And for everybody listening, this is a woman who just happened to come into a room that you and I were in Laurie and a couple other hypnotists from the community.
1 (49m 37s):
And we just asked her some questions about what she was going through, her limiting beliefs, Laurie, you helped change her life. She couldn't stop raving about you because you actually did like a mini-session, which I think is okay, something longer like that is okay. If you want to actually do hypnosis on someone in clubhouse, but all that to say, clubhouse changed this woman's life in a matter of 15, 20 minutes, all because people were able to just provide value first and you were willing to do that. I reached out to her, offered her a free session. She, I mean, yesterday, she was so happy and that's really what it's all about. And I think using clubhouse to provide value is, is the biggest and should be the first goal.
2 (50m 17s):
I love that. Thank you so much for sharing that. It's, it's been really fun for me to watch you, you know, from my, from my standpoint, it looks like you are employing relentless consistency. I think ed,
0 (50m 28s):
My let is the one that first brought that word to my radar and I love it. So I appreciate you modeling this, bringing so much value. Is there anything else that you would like to make sure that we spotlight before we say goodbye?
1 (50m 43s):
I guess I will say one thing, because talking about like taking action and being consistent, I fell victim to this and I actually just talked about it recently on in my Facebook group, but everybody thinks they need to have this fancy routine in the morning or during the day. The most important thing you can do is take action and sure you can call it inspired action. You call it, call it massive action. But if you're not feeling productive, it's because you're not taking action. And a lot of times people get caught up in these fancy routines, you know, meditating, cold showers, you know, grounding themselves in the grass facing East, you know, that's all great. Don't get me wrong.
1 (51m 23s):
There are positive effects of that. However, a lot of the times it becomes procrastination wrapped in wrapping paper. That makes you feel good about procrastinating. So I guess my one tip for anybody, if you, if you want to make a video, you need to produce content, make that the first thing in your day, just do it. Like even if it's a couple minutes and you'll, you'll find a nourisher kind of takes over and you actually get more done. So take action and, and put all the fancy, like, feel good things to the side, at least momentarily.
0 (51m 53s):
That's incredibly valuable advice. Thank you so much for sharing that, Anthony, this has been so awesome. I knew that it would be, and I'm so grateful that you said yes to this conversation. Please get in touch with me anytime. If there's anything I can do for you and for everyone listening, I will put Anthony's contact information in the show notes and I highly recommend following this guy and modeling him and just taking, taking action.
1 (52m 22s):
Awesome. Thanks Larry. I appreciate you having me.
0 (52m 24s):
Thank you, Anthony. I'm so grateful. You've listened all the way to the end. What is one tiny action step you'll take now based on an aha moment you got during the podcast, maybe that life changing action step is to come accept the gift I have for [email protected] Head there right now to get your powerful, hypnosis audio, the answer room that lets you make important decisions and get crystal clear about your next step forward on this path of purpose in your one. Great and precious life.