What if the ability to process negative emotions is a gift?  

By Lori Hammond

Coach and Professional Hypnotist. Giving you simple tools to stop overwhelm and harness joyful forward momentum.

A few years ago I heard Byron Katie tell this story...

"A cockroach crawled over my foot!

 

I was lying on the floor, next to my bed – I hated myself so much that I didn’t feel I deserved to sleep in a bed – and this cockroach crawled over my foot and woke me up.

As I opened my eyes I realized everything had changed. It was as if I had awakened from my sleep into a whole new reality, and I could see how my thoughts shaped my world.

 

I completely changed in that moment, and the old Byron Katie was forever gone. Instead I was a totally new being."

 

I literally felt jealous. 

 

I thought "I want a cockroach to crawl over my foot and awaken me to a whole new reality from now on!" 

 

I don't know if I've ever seen a cockroach in real life but I think I would be fairly grossed out if one crawled across my foot. 

 

But I would TOTALLY put up with the grossness if it led to an aha moment that let me re-shape my thoughts...

 

... and therefore reshape my world.

 

If I'm honest I have had glimpses of these aha moments.

 

BUT THEY DON'T STICK! 

 

It's like I stretch and yawn and open my eyes for a moment...

 

Then go right back to sleep. 

 

My eyes have been fluttering open more frequently lately...

 

I think it's because some really hard things are happening in my personal life and sending me into a deep depression...

 

Like I used to when things got hard...

 

Isn't an option.

 

So I've been asking myself, "What if I could actually embody this self-love stuff I teach others?"

 

I've been learning to love myself more and more the past few years but now I'm being given an opportunity to let the idea of self-love go from my head...

 

Into my BODY.

 

Not just my heart, but into my arms and legs and feet and toes...

 

And my squishy tummy that's stretched out and over soft from having 3 kids...

 

And the lines on my face that make me look like the grandma I am...

 

And the other things I sometimes try to wish away. 

 

The subject of this email is…

 

The Gift We Love To Hate

The other day when my eyes fluttered open for a moment I realized...

 

THIS BODY is a gift. 

 

I've moved house (as the Brits say) 10 times since I quit my job to be a full time hypnotist four years ago. 

 

Don't feel sorry for me. I'm a wanderer at heart and I LOVE moving. 

 

But I was feeling sorry for myself because no-place feels like home. (Which is probably why I keep moving.)

 

Then my body said...

 

"I am your home."

 

And I realized that no matter where I am, I'm at home in my body.

 

And I thought about all the times I've been mean to my body and felt ashamed of this "home".

 

I was going to write this week's cheat sheet about grief.

The death of Toni Macri-Reiner has sent waves of sorrow and grief through the hypnosis community this week. 

 

Even if you didn't know Toni, the odds are good you've experienced grief in your life too. 

 

So here's what I want to say about grief...

 

FEEL IT!

 

Cry your freaking eyes out. 

 

Acknowledge what's happening in your BODY when that wave of sadness overtakes you. 

 

You were given the gift of the body to EXPERIENCE LIFE. 

 

All of it. 

 

I am so deeply saddened by the loss of our friend and colleague.

 

I feel pressure behind my eyes and a lump in my throat as I write this.

 

How freaking lucky I am that I can FEEL GRIEF?

 

I used to be so afraid to feel anything "negative" or "scary" or "sad". 

 

What if our ability to experience hard things is actually a gift?

What if those so-called negative emotions allow us to experience pure rhapsody in the happy moments?

 

If we felt happy all the time we'd get bored. 

 

We would want more, more, more. 

 

When we allow ourselves to experience life THROUGH our body we get a glimpse behind the curtain. 

 

Anita Moorjani suggests that we exist to FEEL...

 

We exist to LOVE ourselves...

 

To acknowledge our worthiness...

 

And to embody the truth of our love and worthiness...

 

So we can be ‘love in action’. 

 

Your body is a gift. 

 

YOUR body is a gift.

 

I double dare you to scan your body right now and notice what you feel. 

 

What does your left earlobe feel like right now?

 

Your right shoulder?

 

Your left thumb?

 

Be HERE. Now.

 

There's bliss in this moment. 

 

Hold your hands to your heart and FEEL love pouring from my heart to yours. (I held my hands to my heart right after I wrote that and sent YOU love.)

 

Whew! This email seems a little disjointed but while I was driving to this coffee shop where I'm writing, I heard Tim Ferriss... my favorite podcaster... say,

 

"It's impossible to always have your finger on the pulse of your audience. You have to freaking write what lights YOU up." 

 

I've noticed that the times when I let myself come a bit unhinged and really speak from the heart...

 

It seems to resonate with more people...

 

And that means the world to me. 

 

On that note, I have one favor to ask you. 

 

If you've read this email and thought or felt any version of "poor Lori" please know that I'm ok. 

 

I'm better than ok. 

 

I feel like I'm in the midst of a series of unfortunate events right now. 

 

(Sorry for being cryptic. I might be able to share when I'm on the other side.)

 

But I absolutely KNOW that the mantra I learned from Louise Hay...and have been repeating for years...is true. 

 

All is well.

 

Everything is working out for my highest good. 

 

Out of THIS situation, only good will come. 

 

And I AM SAFE.

 

The only reason I mention my hard times is because I know YOU are likely experiencing hard times too. 

 

I want you to know...

 

I see you. 

 

I love you. 

 

Maybe you and I have never spoken but when I write these emails, YOU are in my heart. 

 

It is safe to feel. 

 

There's beauty IN the pain. 

 

You can feel this and be ok. 

 

I can feel this and be ok. 

 

We can feel this together. 

 

Have a beautiful week. 

 

Stay in your body.

 

Love,

Lori