Hitting Rock Bottom
Learn how Victoria used the principles from her best-selling book to thrive after her worst fears came true.
If you were haunted and harassed by your own inner critic, if you've ever been curious about why hypnosis works so well, if you're a seasoned hypnotist, or if you suspect that the inner critic is actually hypnotizing you to hold back from reaching the greatness that you know, deep down is inside you, lean in and get inspired to get out of your comfort zone and create your one precious life with purpose and intention. If you like this show, you'll love my powerful hypnosis audio, the answer room, because it gives you crystal clear guidance and direction and illuminates an ingenious way to make triumphant decisions.
No matter how stuck you feel or how confused you were. This powerful hypnosis audio is my gift to you. When you go to the imposter monster.com again, that's the imposter monster.com. Don't forget the, the, the imposter monster.com. And yes, I'm done saying it. Thank you. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart for listening. I'm Lori Hammond, and I'm truly grateful for you. Okay. Tell me
1 (1m 19s):
If you've ever done this. You're sitting and listening to a motivational speaker or someone who is very inspirational, who was giving a talk to help you feel inspired and motivated to move forward. And on the one hand, there's a part of you, that's thinking, Oh, this is amazing. This is so exciting. And you're almost feeling the sensation of having accomplished your goal. And then on the other hand, there's a part of you, that's saying, yeah, but you can't do this because of this and well that that person has all these things and you don't have that. So you can't do it well for me, when I heard Victoria Gallagher for the first time when I heard her speak, I had that same sensation where part of me is like, yes, she's proving that I can do this thing that I want to do.
1 (2m 2s):
She has a really successful digital product business, and that's something that I wanted. And then she would talk about how she started 21 years ago. And I'm thinking, Oh, you know, I'm too late. I'm too late to the game. I don't have this certain thing that she has if you've ever felt that way. I think you were going to love this interview because Victoria shares how she has hit absolute rock bottom and how she adjusted her mindset and move forward and build an incredibly successful business. I consider Victoria to be one of the most influential and successful people in this industry. And I'm so honored that I got to have this conversation with her.
1 (2m 43s):
I hope you enjoy this as much as I do. And as you listen, I invite you to, anytime you notice that little voice saying, Oh, but I can't do this because of fill in the blank that you just let yourself slip into a place of curiosity and think, I wonder what would happen if I use the same tools and applied them to my life. And if you want a step-by-step guide to get you there, Victoria has a bestseller called the practical law of attraction. I went out and purchased it. As soon as this interview is finished and I'm already getting so much value from it. So I highly recommend checking out her book. And I hope you enjoy this interview. I am so grateful for you being here and I would love it if you would just tell us a little bit about yourself.
1 (3m 29s):
I know that's a really open-ended question, but I just want to see what surfaces
2 (3m 33s):
Absolutely. Well, thank you so much for having me on your show, Lori and the feeling is definitely mutual. Every time we interact with each other, it's amazing. This year has brought us together so many times in, you know, between Oh, between getting together for Mark caster and Kelly Woods. And then I re you know, had you on my podcast. And now I'm so thankful to get to interact with you again on your podcast. So just a little background. I have been a certified hypnotist hypnotherapist for the last 21 years prior to being a hypnotist. I actually, I used to be a financial consultant.
2 (4m 16s):
I was in the, in that world, in the investment world for gosh, probably about eight or nine years, but, you know, fully cert, fully licensed as a stockbroker for about six years. And prior to becoming certified in hypnosis, I was just, I was just kind of at a point where I really just lost my passion for what I was doing and started taking a lot of personal development courses. And that led me to making the decision that not only did I want to get out of that business, but I, I wanted to get myself into a position where I could really help people with things more than just their finances.
2 (5m 5s):
It's funny when you are a financial consultant, most people, they, when they come to you and you meet with them, they don't even really want to talk about their finances is probably one of the hardest things. People really have a hard time talking about is, is how much money they, and so a lot of times people would come in and they would talk to me about their problems and, you know, just, and so I was already kind of dealing with people in that way. I was already doing a lot of some somewhat motivational speaking and, and pumping them up and helping them feel confident and, and, you know, doing all those things.
2 (5m 46s):
And so it just really seemed to really make a lot of sense to move in this direction of helping people with their personal development. And so long story short, I ended up becoming certified in hypnosis hypnotherapy. I ended up having to quit my job really, really early because my, my boss found out what I was doing. And about a month after I signed a lease on my office space and, you know, pretty much I'd signed contracts on all these ads. I mean, I really went for the Gusto when I broke out of it, no therapy school.
2 (6m 27s):
I'm like, okay, I'm starting my own business. I'm starting my own office. I'm going to make the biggest hypnosis website on the planet with lots of things that you can buy and various different. I mean, I just, I was thinking I was going to have a hypnosis site with about 500 different programs. And a lot of people just told me, Oh, you can't do that, that you can't make any money doing that. And, and I, I set out to prove them wrong. Not that wasn't my only mission, but it was really to really explore my passion and really take it on. And I was pretty pumped up after I had taken a lot of these personal development seminars for myself.
2 (7m 10s):
And so I, at that time, I mean, I would not back then describe myself as somebody who had any, any dealt with this imposter syndrome, you know, that we're talking about here today, but it was something that, that did come up and creep up over time. Believe it or not. I mean, sometimes, you know, you can start off very confident, but then have a few things that shake you up and really rock you to the core. And then that can, you know, that that can, that can cause some of the self doubt and, and feelings.
2 (7m 50s):
Like, I'm not really sure I, if I know what I'm doing. So, so that's a little bit, you know, a little bit about my backstory and how I got involved in, in, in hypnotherapy.
1 (8m 3s):
I love that. So how long after you completed your hypnosis training, did you move into what you're doing now full time where, you know, that delineation, where your boss found out what you were doing and said, you're done? What, what, what did that timeline look like? So let me give you the
2 (8m 20s):
Timeline. So in night it was January of 98 that I took this personal development course. And then throughout all of 98, it was like, there were many different levels that you could go through for this personal development course. And so by August of that year, I made a decision that because I just kept getting haunted in my, my mind telling me that I needed to make these recordings, I needed to make these meditation or visualization recordings, the way I heard it in my mind, I'm going to make visualization recordings to help people to visualize their success.
2 (9m 3s):
And so in, in, so it was in August 98 that I just said, yep, I'm going to do it. And at that time, I didn't exactly know what it looked like. I didn't know how to get qualified. I didn't know really what I just started writing. And I started a little search online for how to write, and I just kept searching and searching how to write effective meditation recordings. I didn't know what I was searching for exactly, but I just kept searching and searching. And so by about January the following year. So now we're like a year into kind of this realization of my, my world is changing.
2 (9m 50s):
I'm going to, I'm moving into some other direction. I don't exactly know what it looks like, kind of mode. So I'm in into that process for about a year and about right about the middle of January of 99, I, I finally did the right search and it brought me to a hypnosis hypnotherapy training school. And I'm like that there was a class I was living in Las Vegas at the time there was a class, it was starting in February, like February 1st, like two weeks from, and it was like right down, right down the street. I wasn't even thinking I was going to find anything like that or close to home or anything like that live.
2 (10m 31s):
Or I could just go and learn how to do this. And I'm like, Oh my God, like, this is exactly what I've been looking for. I mean, prior to that, I kinda thought maybe I might want to go get certified in coaching. And so I was, I was hemming and hawing for the longest time over signing up for coach university, but I just didn't do it. I wasn't taking any action on that. But as soon as I saw the hypnotherapy training and, and all of that, I'm like, that is it. That's exactly what I want to do. So February was the class. It was all months. It was like, like 75 hour type of class.
2 (11m 13s):
And so it was all months. And then there was the next class in March. So there was hip, a certified hypnotist and then certified hypnotherapist that was happening in March. And so I went through that in March and, and then April, there was a little bit more like some, some little NLP credentials and not full on NLP, but it was just, you know, it's just some additional training and, and weight management certification. And I just kept like going and getting all these certifications. And I was like, this is, this is so fun. And our first project in was to create our, our first create a hypnosis recording.
2 (11m 58s):
Well, I don't do anything like really small, so I didn't make just a one tape. I made the six cassette six cassette stress management workshop. They had the little booklet and had the cover, the, the, the little album that all the cassettes fit into the mold and everything. And I, I printed off 300 of these. I had it made by disc makers and everything. I spent like $15,000 on these kits. And I started my way website, which was a really funky named website. I mean, hindsight 2020. It was my first website was called Metta escapes, Metta, like metaphysical, Metta, scapes, healing visualizations.
2 (12m 49s):
So that was my, I mean, it's like, I didn't know anything about SEO or like yeah. Try to print, you know, of course, trying to spell this, this name out and everything. Okay. So anyway, it was literally the day that I graduated from hypnotherapy school, I set out to get my business license. I look, I just said, I'm going to open up an office and I'm actually going to, I wasn't even intending to start seeing clients. I was just doing this just to, to get some credentials enough to write the hypnotherapy recordings.
2 (13m 31s):
But I just, I, you know, we were hypnotizing each other in class and I was going home and, and practicing and on my friends and my family. And I like, you know what? This is great. I'm going to just open up an office and this is going to be my new job, you know? And I just thought like, this is going to be great. Right? And it'll give me that much more experience on my hypnosis recordings to really, really know deeply what, what people are actual, actual physical people are bringing to me what they're, what they're dealing with. And so I, in order to get the business license, you had to have an office in Las Vegas.
2 (14m 16s):
They gave me a stack, like two inches high of paperwork that I needed to fill out my entire life history. Every place I ever lived before, every place I ever worked. I mean, it was, you know, the entire financial background, criminal background check you name it. I mean, it was, it was a huge stack and it was, it was really a huge barrier to entry for a lot of people. Nobody wanted to go through and fill out. I mean, it took me a long time to fill out all that paperwork. That was probably the hardest part about
0 (14m 55s):
My business was just
2 (14m 57s):
Filling out all of the freaking paperwork. And you had to go through all of the, just jump through all these, these hoops to get your business license. You had to have the office, you had to have the fire, Marshall come inspect your office. You had to go before a board of directors. I mean, he had to just do a lot. So I went through all of that stuff starting in April of that year. And basically I ended up getting, yeah, my, my boss got the paperwork right around June. I want to say June 1st.
2 (15m 38s):
And, and, and I didn't actually get my license until July. And so it was, it was, it was like June 1st that he called me into his office and he said, Victoria, we received some interesting paperwork here from Clark County business license. Are you starting a business? And I said, yes. And he said, okay, well, w we can't have this, this is a conflict of interest. I'm thinking to myself, like this is a purely innocent thing. All I wanted to do was make these hypnotherapy recordings on the side.
2 (16m 20s):
This is going to be my, you know, my side business. I can of course, sit here and do my, but because of the fact that I guess that I'm going to have this whole office and, and all of that, he just felt like it was going to be a conflict of interest. And so he said, you've got 30 days to make a decision on,
0 (16m 43s):
2 (16m 44s):
You know, do you want to start your own business or do you want to stay here and continue making a pretty good living? I mean, I'm, you know, I was pretty successful. I had the corner office, I had a six figure income. I had everything going for me. I, I had my mortgage on a house. I had car payments on a nice car. I had, you know, a fair amount of debt than anybody in their late twenties might have. And all of those classes that I took throughout 98, I was still paying those off paying for my hypnotherapy certification course, paying office rent, paying, advertising, all of these expenses.
2 (17m 27s):
Of course, I'm not making any money yet because I literally just opened my office and I decided to jump. And,
0 (17m 37s):
2 (17m 38s):
Yeah, it's so lit, you know, that that's the timeline. It was like, literally a couple months I started my own, I quit my job. Like literally two months after I got certified and hypnotherapy.
1 (17m 51s):
That is amazing. I feel like this is going to resonate with so many people who have that safety net and they're afraid to leave that safety net. So this is kind of an example, I think so often we get ourselves stuck in these what ifs and you had the, what if happened to you, you had that rug pulled out from under your feet when he sat you in that office and said, okay, essentially gave you an ultimatum and said, you have a month to decide, did you consider giving up on your dream? Or was it right away? I'm going for it. I have to pursue this. What was that? I knew,
2 (18m 23s):
I knew I was going to pursue it. And, and then, you know, to make it even more complex and interesting, I did have this idea in the back of my mind that I had a pretty decent book of clients developed at that time that were, you know, I mean, very loyal to me. And, and when a broker leaves, usually they just take your book and pass it out to everyone in the office. And I thought, you know, maybe what I'll do is I'll go ahead and partner up with a broker in the office and give her all my clients.
2 (19m 3s):
And we can work it out to where I take a portion of what she makes and from, from my clients. And so we, we sat down, we had this little, you know, the, this plan, this master plan behind the scenes. And I spent that 30 days, even though, like, I didn't tell him what I was going to do yet, but I spent it trying to build up this relationship between my clients and her. And so the day came, I said, okay, I've made my decision. I'm leaving, but here surely is going to take over my book and we've got it all worked out.
2 (19m 43s):
And he said, no, no, no, it doesn't work that way. Doesn't work that way. And so here, I thought, like, I'm, I, I'm still clinging a little bit to the safety net. And it's like jumping into the deep end, thinking that you have a, what do you call the ring that helps you the life preserver, the life preserver. I think I've got a life preserver on it. And I actually jumped and I realized, Oh, I don't actually have a life preserver at all. So I still, there wasn't any turning back.
2 (20m 23s):
I mean, I would have had to, I mean it, and not only that, but my, I had an investment program too, that I had been putting all this money into that didn't vest for every, every month that you put your 25% of your paycheck into this program, it was a, it stock, it was a stock program. So you'd put 25% of your income into this program. That was the max you can do every month. It didn't invest for two years beyond that. So I had two years worth of my last, you know, 25% of my last earnings tied up in stock that I, that I had to leave on the table.
2 (21m 10s):
So it wasn't,
1 (21m 11s):
I don't know. Oh yeah. So you had to totally walk away from it. Totally.
2 (21m 15s):
We walk away from it. I walk, yeah. I mean, call me, you know, young and dumb. I don't know. Well today,
1 (21m 23s):
Knowing what, you know, if you were to go back, what would you tell that Victoria who
2 (21m 29s):
It's going to be, it's going to be okay. It's, it's absolutely, you know, you're going to have to, I mean, I made some mistakes along the way, which I will definitely be happy to share with you. And if I could go back and tell that person what I know now, you know, I would definitely have done things a little bit different. I still would have made the jump, but what happened to me? So here I was having the confidence in myself, this total self-belief at the, at that time that I can do it because I had, you know, for the last year I'd been taking all these personal development courses.
2 (22m 14s):
I've been taking hypnotherapy. I've been taking all of the reading, just so many books. I mean, it was such a huge growth spurt. So I was just on a, like, I was living on a high of, you can do anything, you know, follow your heart and the money will follow. And so just, yeah, just, you know, the law of attraction is going to just going to save you. And I, and, and so I had this very naive, new surface belief about the way all of this stuff worked and about what it really means to follow your passion.
2 (22m 57s):
And, and so I just, I had the false sense of security that everything was gonna be okay. And, and I mean, I even, no, this was a little bit later when I ended up buying the new car, but I had, I, I was just really, I had like too much false belief in myself. And I mean, as if you can have too much false belief in yourself, but I just, I had a certain amount of belief that all I had to do was just follow my heart and everything was gonna work out. Okay. Well, it didn't work out. Okay.
2 (23m 38s):
So here it is. I think I started my business June. I want to say it was like June 15th or July 1st, July 1st. Yeah. July 1st was the official day, July 1st, 1999. And I have no more actual job. My job is now to find clients, find hypnotherapy clients, make hypnosis recordings, make my website better, make myself better and, and all of that. And, and I'm like sink or swim. I'm just, you know, I'm, I'm just, and so I, I spent all this time really working on, on growing my business and, you know, I was starting to get, you know, maybe a couple thousand dollars a month in, in revenue coming in, but I had, I mean,
3 (24m 33s):
I had so much debt. I had so
2 (24m 36s):
Many bills. I mean, that was not enough to cover everything. I was, I think my nut was like, I hate, I hate that word. I don't know how that came, but, you know, I had about $6,000 before I would, he was even going to be on the plus side. Like, so that was, that was how far over my head I was, because I, I could cause I was I before I was making a six figure income. So I had a mortgage, I had a car payment. I had all these expenses that, you know, that were akin to making that kind of money. But now I'm making less than poverty and still with the same, with the same bills.
2 (25m 25s):
And then if that wasn't worse, if that wasn't bad enough, two more kind of bad things came my way in that same year. So I, I, when I left my job, I chose not to take the, the insurance, the Cobra I'm like 28. I don't have any health problems. I'm fine. I don't need to take on that extra expense right now. And I ended up in the hospital with no health insurance, with a collapsed lung, 10 days with chest tube and surgery. And, and that was probably about $30,000 without any health insurance.
2 (26m 10s):
So that happened. And of course, you know, I'm recovering from that. I'm in the hospital, can't work, you know, I'm just kind of not, you know, things are not going well on then on top of that, my ex-husband who bless his heart. He just, wasn't very good with money. And we weren't really good about the way that we ended up doing our divorce. When we got divorced, we basically split up our credit cards because had all our credit card payments and we didn't change the names or anything like that. We kept them in our joint names.
2 (26m 50s):
And I said, okay, these are yours. You pay off these, these are mine. I'll pay off these, but we didn't to stay, even think to change the names. And so him not being very good with money and he still had available balances on these credit cards. He wracked, he maxed out, he maxed out these credit cards, you know, $25,000 or something like that on his end. And, and then he got his new girlfriend became pregnant and, and he had all these expenses, all these bad things happen to him.
2 (27m 36s):
So he ended up filing for bankruptcy. And so all of, so, because they were in joint names that ended up reflecting on me. So it became my debt that I had to assume. So 30,000, 25,000, you know, I mean, it was absolutely nuts. It was nuts. And I wasn't getting anywhere at that time with my business. I, and I ended up in January, the following year, 2000, January of 2000, I filed for bankruptcy. And it, so talk about feeling like a fraud.
2 (28m 21s):
Talk about like, you, you should follow your dreams. Everybody, everybody needs to follow their dreams. And here I am, I'm following my dreams and look what happened.
1 (28m 30s):
Oh my gosh. Oh, my heart goes out to you. Thank you so much for sharing this because I think this will resonate with so many people.
2 (28m 39s):
Yeah, it was embarrassing and it, and it didn't stop there because, you know, after that, I mean, I still, I refused. I mean, part of that, I brought on my myself, well, I mean, I, in a way the, if, if you believe what I believe, I mean, I brought it all on myself and, you know, I mean, none of that had to happen. I mean, these were poor choices that I made. I made the choice not to get the health insurance. I, you know, I made the choice to not get divorced responsively. And, you know, we, we probably could have paid a thousand dollars to a divorce attorney.
2 (29m 20s):
We were friends. We just figured, you know, we're not going to attack each other and have to do all this. We're just going to do this amicably. But that was a choice I made the choice to leave, you know, am and, and follow my dreams. So all of these, I may have put myself in that situation. So it was nobody's fault, but mine and, you know, but then, you know, beyond that, and I, I did, I did choose to continue not looking for a job and just doing my, my business. So I really believed in the whole theory of thinking grow rich, you know, I mean, just burn the boats, just burn the boats.
2 (30m 3s):
I'm not, I'm never going back to work again. I can't do that. And even, and my mom was telling me me, maybe you should go and get a second job. And I'm like, no, no, if I do that, then I will never do this. I don't think I, and that was what I told myself. I don't cook can tell you if that was true. But I, I knew that if for me, if I spent any time getting caught up in, in, in, in trying to make a living some other way, this, this was never gonna work out. So I had to do it.
2 (30m 42s):
I had to continue pursuing it. And so, you know, it was after asking my dad for some money and feeling so humiliated about that, asking my younger sister for money, my mom helping me a little bit. And then even a friend of a friend of mine who I knew had, you know, it was fairly successful and he had some money in it after I got off the phone with him and I was so freaking humiliated, I was just so humiliated. That's when it just all like happened. I just started crying and I'm like, what have I done?
2 (31m 27s):
Like, this is insane. I mean, I, this isn't the life that I imagined, this isn't me, this isn't Victoria, this isn't the Victoria. I know I'm, I'm begging for money. I mean, I was successful a year and a half ago I was successful. And now, you know, I'm like, I'm struggling and I'm, I'm embarrassed. And like, everything's just falling apart. Why is this happening to me? And I'm writing in my journal. I'm like writing a letter to God. I'm not like a religious person, but I'm like, seriously.
2 (32m 7s):
Like at that point, I'm at the point of desperation. I'm just like writing. I'm just writing a letter, dear God, I don't deserve this. I deserve a better life. I, I deserve better than this and all of that. And I just like went into this really, really, really deep, deep cry, like just a sorrow sorrowful cry. And it was almost like, like I had a, a moment where I stepped out of myself and it has had this epiphany, you know, that like I was, It was like, I w I just, I was seeing myself as this small incapable person.
2 (32m 59s):
And, and I was like being crushed by all of the things that were going on. And it was almost like this victim story that I was starting to fall into this trap of like nothing ever goes right. For me, the world is working. Everything's working against me. I mean, I had to have a reason for all of this stuff. I was reaching for a reason why all this stuff was happening. It must be that everybody's against me, the whole world's against me. And, you know, here's, here's the embarrassing part to admit, this is a thing I would've changed. The thing that I would have changed is you remember all those, those wonderful hypnosis recordings that I was making and telling everybody change your life with the power of your mind, the power of hypnosis changed your life.
2 (33m 52s):
Do you think I was listening to them?
0 (33m 56s):
This is so amazing. I know there's so many people that are doing a happy dance right now to realize they're not the only ones. Yeah.
2 (34m 4s):
Like what a hypocrite, what a hypocrite. And I, it, it really, and that moment, it, it seems so obvious. I mean, anybody else could probably, if they're in this world, they would say, you know, I mean, yeah, you need to reprogram, well, I guess most people would logically, so you need to go get a job. But no, that was the thing that I was so like working. It's so busy, I'm just too busy to listen to, to these things. I'm too busy to work on my mind.
2 (34m 44s):
I thought working on your mind was something I did a year and a half ago to get where I am, you know, to, to get to that point. But that I, you know, it's, it's like a kin to somebody who says, yeah, I went on that diet and I did. I went on that exercise program and I got in, I got my body in really, really good shape. And now I'm set. I don't ever have to do that again. I am set no more Delmore, more working out. I can eat donuts. I can, you know, whatever, and I am set. I'm good to go. And that was sort of the mindset that I was in. I thought I was good to go. I had these epiphanies that, that came about in the seminar.
2 (35m 28s):
And I thought, you know, I don't need, I don't need this crap. You know, like everyone else does, but I, you know, I I'm good
4 (35m 38s):
To go. I don't. And it pissed me off when I realized like for myself, I realized, you know what, just because you teach the work doesn't mean that you don't have to do the work. You still have to do the work. And it was like, like lightning bolt it's, it seems like such an obvious his thing, but it wasn't obvious to me, it wasn't obvious. And it was like, literally, okay, right now. Okay. I get it right now. I like going to, I'm going to start this process. And I started writing my own scripts for myself about being successful in business.
4 (36m 22s):
And I started just listening and, and program and, you know, listening to other people's things too. I mean, I was just anything I could get my hands on. It's like, okay, I'm ready. I'm ready to get back into this and to absorb this information to actually do the work. And I started doing the work. And like, it seems like too good to be true for this to happen. But literally, you know, within like three months from that point, I had never turned a profit. I'd made some money, but I'd never gotten over the, you know, making more in more income than expenses.
4 (37m 3s):
And I finally, within three months of doing that, I don't want to say it was like a week or 24 hours later or anything like that. But just three months later, it's like, boom, I actually am in the black, my old, black Friday. And yeah, like, and once I got into the black, it was like that confidence that like, okay, well, if I could do that, then now, you know, I can, I'm going to have my first $10,000 a month. And, you know, and, and then I'm going to have a $25,000 a month and, you know, and I just, I just kept that process going. And I just kept listening.
4 (37m 44s):
And I, and I kept just, just checking in and doing whatever, you know, it would, it would, it did. It's like, it's not like the hypnosis, all of a sudden magically attracted people coming to my door. But what it did is that just put me into seeing things that I wasn't seeing before, seeing opportunities that I wasn't seeing before being more present and in the moment, because like, when you're just like working, working, working, working, you're, you're not even like really present to all the opportunities that are coming to you. And so I would do things like put my list, my site on other, on places I didn't think to do before advertise in a different way, or put, you know, have a kind of a crazy email marketing campaign or, you know, just, just little things.
4 (38m 42s):
You know, I was just listening. I was receptive to the ideas and then I would start actually doing them. And that's what the, what the whole point of listening to they have gnosis programs do is it just gives you that confidence gives you that motivation gives you the perspective and, and causes you to start, you know, doing the things differently. So long story. But I think it's worth people hearing that, you know, sometimes your worst nightmare, it does happen. It does happen, but that became, you know, I mean, I, it was so long.
4 (39m 22s):
It was, so I used to leave the bankruptcy part of that story out because I was, for the longest time, I was really embarrassed to tell anybody that I filed for bankruptcy. You know, it's, it's a shameful thing. It's a very shameful thing, but I think people need to understand that you can do that. And then you recover many successful people have filed for bankruptcy, and then they rebounded. Yeah.
1 (39m 55s):
One of the things that has stood out to me the most about your story a few times, you've mentioned stepping out of a victim mentality and taking responsibility for where you were. And I think that can be a really hard thing for people to wrap their heads around. But my own experience in that arena is that it's incredibly liberating because all of a sudden, if you're responsible for where you are, then you have the power to get yourself where you want to be. So I, I love that part of your story.
4 (40m 24s):
Thank you. It's so true. It is. It's a hard pill to swallow to realize, wow, I, I put myself into this position. I, I created this, but it's also very empowering because if, when you, when you take responsibility, just like you said, you realize like, well, if I can create that, then I can actually create what I do want instead. Yeah.
1 (40m 52s):
Yeah. Can you speak a little bit to, you said at one point your, your mom was kind of encouraging you to go get a job. I imagine there were maybe other voices in your ear, doubting you, did those voices ever become your own voice where you were telling yourself, Oh, I should. I should just do that. Can you talk me, talk to me about how you talked yourself through that or worked through that to get better.
4 (41m 16s):
Yeah. You know, there have been, and you know, and I, don't one of the things I want to also address, I'm going to get to that, but I, I, it's not, without having to say that, you know, I haven't made it, you know, I haven't made
2 (41m 34s):
It. I still have days, even though I've somehow magically managed to build a successful, reputable business, I still make money on online. I still, you know, I have a number one best selling book. I have all these, these things, but, you know, there's days where there's days that are harder than others. It's not always, when you run your own business, you know, you don't have like a steady, consistent every single day. It's like, you know, you, it, I mean, there's been days that have been worse than others. And, and so, so there's, so, so there have been times in this whole journey, ups and downs years, bad years, bad months, bad days, you know, some are better than others where you kind of go like, ah, th th those voices about getting the job.
2 (42m 37s):
They, they ha they did become mine at some point. They have, they have come, come in every once in a while. And just, you know, for lack of saying a swear word, you know, screw this, screw this, I'm going to go back. I'm just going to go to work. And it's like, no, no, no, I'm, I'm unemployable. I am not, not even like, the voice comes in occasionally there, when there have just been those days from hell, because they do come every once in a while, you do have a bad day every once in a while. And, and it's just like, ah, screw this.
2 (43m 19s):
I'm just I'm I can't figure this out. I can't figure this out. So I'm just gonna, I'm just going to go get that, that job that maybe they were right. Maybe, you know, maybe they were right. Maybe I'm not. And, but the thing is, is, I mean, I have, I have, for the most part, I mean, I think, I think I've succeeded at doing, at doing this, but there's just those times. And I think that's what we're talking about. The imposter syndrome, there's those times where you think, ah, you know, maybe I'm not as, maybe I'm not doing it as well as everybody thinks that I'm doing.
2 (44m 2s):
I think that's the one that kind of comes up for me is maybe, is as I think, you know, I think people think that I'm doing a little better than I did. Maybe I am doing.
1 (44m 13s):
It's so amazing to hear you talk about this because I, when I first encountered your work, I was listening. I heard a hypno thoughts taught by you and I was listening and I'm like, Oh my gosh, this woman has made it. She is, I was, I was just enameled with the work that you do. And I still am. And I think it's so helpful to hear that you struggle with the same things that so many other people do. And I being a person who has chosen to make myself a little bit more public, a lot of people come to me with these doubts. And it's the same thing for me. It's really reaffirming to hear that people are struggling with, with these, these thought processes of you're not ready.
1 (44m 55s):
You're not good enough. You're not you're, you can't do it because it helps me realize that those voices for me, it's everyone is going through this. And I think the people that are successful are the ones who do it in spite of that voice, those voices are still there, but they keep doing it anyway.
2 (45m 10s):
Yeah. That's the one thing, I mean, I think that's one of the things that does separate a person from, you know, having the imposter syndrome is one thing. And, and I think we all have it, you know, and, and it, it, it has uses and it ha and it's it's, Anna can also be very useless, but that was one of the things that I was thinking where it's very useless is where people just allow themselves to get stuck in it, and they're not willing to just embrace it. And I think the more, what you're doing is brilliant in, in actually bringing it to the forefront and giving people a platform to discuss it.
2 (46m 0s):
Because the thing is, is that I don't believe there's a person on the planet. They say that 70% of all successful or of all people, I don't know if it's all, you know, but they say that 70% of all people have this. Right. But you, I mean, you don't really hear about people's stories when it comes to how they actually feel. And so you look at everyone that is out there succeeding and doing what you do, and you think that they must have it all together, that, that they don't ever have bad days, that they don't ever have self doubt, that they have complete belief in themselves that, you know, that they're just keep moving forward and, and that they are, they never procrastinate.
2 (46m 52s):
They're always motivated. They have perfect self-confidence and everything that they do is perfect. And, you know, and, and, and, and so, so we're afraid most people are afraid to even discuss what might really be going on at, at the surface and how we even overcome that. And I think it's really, really brilliant, really important for, for your audience to, to know that, I mean, no matter what somebody looks like, I'm pretty sure that Tony Robbins has had moments,
4 (47m 30s):
Just knowing what I know about people and, and, and, and the anatomy of success. I mean, I, I think you're lying to yourself. If you don't deal with this,
1 (47m 43s):
I really agree with you. And I think the reason I feel an urgency to get this message out is because I think that what, what you and I do. And so many people, whether they're hypnotists or change workers or coaches, we, we have something of value to share with the world. And we don't have to have ourself completely figured out. I just talked to my mentor, Mike Mandela, and he says, I never will have arrived, but he's, he's been changing lives for decades. And I think the sooner we get started and move past that the better. So will you speak to me? So when you're having one of those off days and you're thinking, Oh, I should just go, I should just go get a day job.
1 (48m 23s):
And you're kind of struggling with that, which I so relate to that. How do you move past that? What, what gets you over that hump so that you, you feel revitalized? Is it, you know, you wake up the next day and you realize that was just the mood or what is it? Yeah.
4 (48m 40s):
So, and just speaking to the Mike Mandela thing about, you know, that haven't arrived. I mean, that's kind of what I meant by, you know, it's like, I haven't made it yet and I never will. Like, you're never going, that's one of the things, that's a statement that they make to you in, in landmark, you know, one of those seminars, you're, you're never going to make it. And that kind of sounds like, Whoa, that's a negative self-talk thing to say, never gonna make it, but the, it, it, it, what it does is it just kind of opens up the, to, you know, there's not going to be that time. It's, there's always a what's next, that's the thing, you know, you're always going to be.
4 (49m 22s):
And so that's why we really want to embrace this moment where we're at right now and, and do work with what we have, because, you know, there's always going to be something better, something, something that we're what we're going for, but getting back to those days that I have told myself, yeah, I think maybe I'm going to go back for it. Well, first of all, I will just imagine what that's like. And that, for me, honestly, that kind of Kai Bosch is that at the moment, because I really will I'll travel into that moment. I was like, well, what would I even do?
4 (50m 5s):
You know, what, what would that day job even look like? And I'll, I'll literally almost have a fantasy about what, you know, what would I do, but then I'd have to get up at the same time every morning. And, and I just, I literally, I mean, I think about what it would be like, and then I, so, so then I put, I put that aside and the next thing that works for me is, is feeling gratitude and, and feeling appreciative because usually it's those moments where, you know, it's not like things are, have been going bad for instance, standard period of time.
4 (50m 50s):
It may be just that I'm having a bad day. So I just need to put it into perspective that, you know, this is just a temporary moment and most people, and, and I'll just, you know, I'll just be grateful. It's like most people don't even have their own business. And so I'm just grateful that I have, and I'll, I'll, I'll look at what I have a look at all of the good qualities that I have. I'll think myself for my powerful mind, that attract success to me, I'll, I'll, I'll think myself for life. And I'll every order that comes in, I will really put myself more into the present.
4 (51m 30s):
And I was like, even if it's like a silly $15 order, and I'll be like, thank you so much. I mean, most people don't just get $15 sent to them through the internet. I mean, that's pretty cool. Like, I, I never forget my very, very first, you know, the stress management workshop cause sets that I was selling, I sold that for like $59 and then plus shipping and, you know, so it was, I don't know, like $64 or whatever that somebody would like. That was my very, very first order. And I, I there's like you don't ever get over that. You don't ever get over that first, that exhilarating feeling of somebody, just some random person from another state, that's never met you before, trusting you, that your product is going to be the end, all, be all to their problem.
4 (52m 30s):
And they're trusting you that you're going to send it. And they sent you money. They're trusted you with your credit, their credit card. And, you know, so I feel like I, you know, I have a responsibility to people for the rest of my life to help make them feel better. Like, what if I didn't exist? Like what if, what if my, what of my website went away? I can't go away. I, I have too much invested in, in, I mean, people have too much invested in me right now. I mean, I have people out. So, so that's the other thing is when I start to feel gratitude, I get present.
4 (53m 15s):
I get, I'm thankful for everything that, you know, and, and then I start to realize that, you know, whenever, whenever I get to feeling that way, it's just my ego. It's usually just my ego that is like having a little temper tantrum. Like it's not going my way and right now, and you know, and, and it's not like, you know, everything is okay, everything is actually okay, there's ups and downs and there's ebbs and flows. And so you have to take the good days with the bad days. And, and, and so, so I'm making that about me when I'm having a bad day.
4 (54m 1s):
Like, it's all about 100%, I'm making that about me. And so you have to turn that inside out, and you have to think about the people that you are helping. And, and that to me, like gets me through everything is that it is about helping other people through exactly what I'm dealing with right now. I need to turn my focus around and it's like, boy, if I'm feeling like this, there are a whole lot of other people that are feeling like this, but they don't even have the tools to get themselves out of that. So I need to make sure that I stay, keep myself healthy, keep my business healthy because they need me.
4 (54m 48s):
People need me and everybody has a gift. Everybody has a gift to share. And everyone, you know, if they allow that gift to shine and they allow themselves to just kind of get over that, you know, that that negative self-talk that I'm not good enough, or I'm not perfect enough, or it's, you know, whatever we have to stop that because we do have that ability. We, we, we have such an ability to help other people, but we have to, we can't help people if we're kind of coiled up in a corner, feeling sorry for ourselves and feeling like we're not good enough or not perfect enough, or somebody else has got it figured out better than I do.
4 (55m 35s):
We all have our own unique individual gift to share. And it is absolutely our duty and our responsibility to share it. And once I get back into thinking about that, then that, that definitely helps me get back up.
1 (55m 52s):
I love that. In a moment ago, you said that you would kind of give yourself a pep talk and I think you said I have a great problem. I love my problem solving mind or something to that effect. And I, I thought, man, our self-talk is so powerful. So, so often when we're having this imposter syndrome, it's because we've let those outside voices saying this can't work. We've let them get inside and become our own voice. And sometimes it can be as easy. I always tell people two things can not occupy the same place at the same time. So if you're telling yourself I, my problem solving mind, and I'm here to make a difference in the world, though, all those imposter voices aren't going to get in. I have a couple more questions I would love to ask, but before I want to check in and see how you're doing on time, are you, are you okay if we keep going?
1 (56m 38s):
4 (56m 38s):
Yeah, no, I'm definitely good. Yeah. I'm really enjoying our conversation. I had no idea how it was going to go. It's just one of those things, like, you know, I mean sometimes, you know, have you ever dealt with it? You know, you don't deal with a client that comes to you as something like not really dealt with this before. And it's like, I'm not really sure how this is going to go. And then you get into it and it's like, Oh, this is going great.
1 (57m 2s):
Yeah. And that's, I didn't do a lot of prep coming into this because just the interviews that I've listened to you in the past and the connections that you and I have made, I knew this conversation was going to flow. But to me, I am getting so much value from this. This is a million times better than I even would have expected.
4 (57m 19s):
I goodness. Well, thank you.
1 (57m 21s):
I love this. So two questions and you can address this in whatever order. One thing I would like you to speak to the perfectionist out there, the people who are waiting till everything is just right till they have the perfect office space. If they're going to do this virtually the perfect setup, the perfect script, whatever it is, if you would speak to the perfectionism and then I would love to talk about your books and the process that went into writing a little bit more, what the content is, because I'm embarrassed to admit that I haven't read your books yet. And just hearing you speak, I'm like, I need to get my hands on those books as soon as I get off a flight and I'm going to go order them.
4 (57m 59s):
Yeah. So definitely the perfectionism has been something that for me, has definitely gotten in my way in the past. And, you know, at some point I was able to, I don't know how I let it go and made that transition. I wanna, I wanna kind of tap in and see if I can really come up with, but you know, the thing is, is that I realized, I mean, I had a mentor at the time and, and she was, I mean, not a perfectionist, but she was, she was definitely getting herself out there and get in.
4 (58m 40s):
And her, her web sales were just flying through the roof where mine were just, you know, kind of trickling along. And, and here I was, I mean, just like just working on, you know, just perfecting these, these recordings and perfecting my website and perfecting this and perfecting that. And, and it, it's almost like one day I just sort of had this like awareness of how it's never going to be perfect. It's never going to, that is just a, a limiting belief that, that whatever it is that I have is, is not good enough.
4 (59m 25s):
And I think so many of us, like we do, we compare ourselves with other things or other people or other products or other services. And, and, and, and it's just this, this feeling of like, not, I think the perfectionism so much is like, it's overcompensating from just, I don't, it just never feels good enough. And, and you look at, you look at it and it's just never going to get better. It's never going to get better. So I think one of the, those days, one day I just had kind of an awareness that, you know what, this is something that is holding me back.
4 (1h 0m 7s):
And I, you know, what it was, I think it was literally, I think it was something that Russell Brunson said, I've been kind of a follower of all of his, you know, funnels, secrets and.com secrets and things like that. And he said something that really hit me once. And he said, you know, because I think part of it is like this feeling like you don't know enough that you, you know, so many people like they, they continue to go and get certification certification or read this book or read that or before you'll take that leap and do what it is that you need to do. You just cannot get enough information and you never ever feel like, you know, enough.
4 (1h 0m 52s):
And so what he said was that, you know, you only have to be a few, you know, a couple of steps ahead of whoever it is that you are helping, whoever you are helping you, you are just a couple of you. You can be just a couple of steps ahead of them and you are going to give that person value. And so I know enough to know that I am ahead of this person. And as far as maybe, you know, cause I do a couple of things, you know what I mean? I help people with their marketing and, but I also help people with their mindset.
4 (1h 1m 34s):
So I kind of do a little bit of each of those and depending on which type of person I'm coaching, well, I definitely know that I'm way ahead of the game. And you know, it's interesting, you know, when it comes to the mindset stuff, you know, when, and when you've been doing this for 21 years, this is such common language. All the people that I talk to it's, it's such common language, that it is hard. Some it's still, it's still hard sometimes to think that you're giving somebody a you, you, that you're giving somebody something of value because it sounds like when you're talking, it sounds like, well, I'm just, just having a conversation.
4 (1h 2m 22s):
I haven't really said anything, but to them, and I've had enough experiences with people that when I'm having that conversation, that there's some movement and that, that there's some impact there. And that there's a transformation from just having a conversation with me. And so, you know, I mean, I'm not entirely over that feeling yet. Like I don't have enough information to help transform somebody, you know, I still have those those days. But for the most part, you know, you, you just get that you get after having a conversation like with you.
4 (1h 3m 2s):
And yesterday I had a, an interview with this, this man he's like, this interview changed my life. It was like, really, like I use, I'm just used as interviewing me for his show. And so if he said that the, the conversation changed his life and it's like little things like that, they do build in a little confidence. Like, all I have to do is have a conversation with somebody that I know just to scope more than they do. And it's a transformation. Yeah.
1 (1h 3m 40s):
That's so amazing. I've co used Amy Porterfield as a coach in the past. And she says the exact thing, you just have to be a couple steps ahead of the person you're guiding. Yeah. Yeah. That's profound.
4 (1h 3m 55s):
Yeah. So that's the perfectionist kind of getting over that. Oh, there's one other little story I'll tell you about that. So the first time, few years ago that I ever gave a public presentation for a hypnosis, for, for a hypnosis conference, it was a few years ago and I was doing it. It was a more businessy oriented hypnosis conference marketing. And so I was doing it on federal building on creating a, a sales funnel, which was something that I had been learning about, you know, through work, all the work that I've done with brussel, you know, for the last, I dunno, four or five years.
4 (1h 4m 45s):
And so I was giving a presentation on that and at the end of my presentation and I mean, everything that it took for me just to give that presentation. I mean, the first time that I rehearsed it in my living room, in front of my cats, the very first time, I'm like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna have to cancel this. Like, I, I, there's no freaking way I can do this. Like I sound ridiculous. I have, I can't, I can't speak. I know I don't, why did I sign up for this? I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I'm talking about.
4 (1h 5m 25s):
And so yeah, the very first time I, you know, kind of rehearsed, it sounded awful. I mean, I thought I was like, yeah, I'm not, I am not cut out for this at all. And after, and then I heard later after I had given that presentation and there were probably, I don't know, 12 or 18 presenters at this, they said you were the best. You were the best presenter that I would never. And, and even in way hindsight, like most people, it was like, I would have never guessed. I thought you were an old pro at this. I would've never guessed. That was your very first presentation.
4 (1h 6m 7s):
And so at the end of my presentation and how that kind of got validated was one of the audience asked me if I would coach him and, and, you know, do you, do you offer coaching? Well, of course I do. Of course I do. Of course I, you know, go, go back home and like my going to like, like, yeah, exactly.
1 (1h 6m 36s):
And I mean, I, I spent more time
4 (1h 6m 38s):
Researching how to put this coaching package together, then all four of our, our sessions, but it was, it was amazing, you know, because he, you know, he ended up like really singing my praises at the end and really feeling like, like he, he got a lot out of it. And, and so, but I, I did tell him, I, you know, cause before we, you know, after I put together the packet, the proposal and everything, I said, you know what? I just have to get something off my chest. And I told him, I literally, I said, this is the first one of these that I'm, that I'm ever doing.
4 (1h 7m 21s):
And all my God that made all the difference in the world. I said, you can back out of this if you want, but I just have to tell you, this is the first time that I'm ever doing this. And so I just, you know, I, I know that I have things that, you know, you don't know and that I can share with you, but I don't have it all together. As far as, you know, a system for you to go through that I know is going to give you transformation. He's like, that's okay. That's fine. I, you know, I, I want, I want to know whatever, you know.
1 (1h 7m 52s):
Wow. That is so awesome. You are inspiring the heck out of me right now. Even if nobody else watches this, this is like so amazing for me. I hope it goes viral though. And everybody gets to benefit from this. I would just love to know a little bit more about, for me as a person who aspires Tet, write a book at some just like I used to aspire to start a podcast at one point, I'd love to know a little bit about the process, but also about the content and what the reader can hope to get from reading the book.
4 (1h 8m 25s):
Yeah. So, all right. So I have three main books right now. I have my, obviously my practical law of attraction book, which is my number one best selling book of my ultimate weight loss power book, which came out like at the end of last year. And then I actually have my attract good luck book, which is laying down on my, on my little table back there, which I wrote before I wrote those two, but it was kind of, I wrote it really fast and I was not selling it on Amazon. I was selling it more as like a, as an audio book with an e-book package.
4 (1h 9m 11s):
And, and so that was actually the first one, but I didn't release it until after practical law of attraction. So practical law of attraction, that's sort of my claim to fame book. And that one I wrote, I guess it's now been a couple of years since I actually broke ground on writing the book. And at that time I was starting to really make a name for myself with manifesting and, and law of attraction. You know, I was always sort of a, kind of a one-stop shop for hypnosis recordings, extraordinary, every different type of topic you could imagine.
4 (1h 9m 58s):
But I was also really, really into my law of attraction recordings and really starting to like, just want to talk about it a lot online. And then I was asked to do a, you know, do a, a workshop on law of attraction and do a certification workshop on law of attraction. And I'm like, Oh, well, I don't ha I don't, I don't have a system like for teaching people about law of attraction. So I don't know how I would even go about certifying somebody to talk. I'm just talking, I'm just having conversations with people.
4 (1h 10m 39s):
And so between that, and one of my dear, dear customers, you know, he who kept telling me, Oh, you need to write a book. You need to write a book. You need to write a book between those two things. It meets saying, I don't have time to write a book. I don't have time for all of that. It just occurred to me that it was time to go ahead. And even though I didn't have time to go ahead and write this book, and I wrote it with the idea in mind that I was going to teach people about, you know, how to teach law of attraction.
4 (1h 11m 23s):
And it, it was really just a compilation of everything that I have known and have, have felt about that. There are, there are essentially eight manifesting conditions that need to be all in alignment in order for you to attract your desires. I also wanted to, you know, there's, there's been certain movies that have come out about the law of attraction and books and where the people have this.
4 (1h 12m 3s):
It's like this mysterious thing that a lot of people don't really understand how it works. And, and, and it's like, seems like magic. And it seems like, Oh, I don't buy into that. And I knew pretty much from the time that I read the books, you know, like thinking, grow rich and, and, and read creative visualization and read a lot of Wayne Dyer and Deepak Chopra and all these, these kinds of books. I mean, I've always understood it, but from a very practical level, like, I'm not one of these people that just buys into like, Oh, you're just going to wish upon a genie and your wishes are going to be granted.
4 (1h 12m 47s):
Like, and that's the way a lot of people think of it when they think of the law of attraction, they think, Oh, all you have to do is just, you know, thoughts become things well, yeah. Eventually of all thoughts become things. Eventually if you focus because on it long enough, if you have a very clear intention, if you visualize it. Yeah. If you, you know, have your internal belief system in alignment with that thing, if you are following along your intuition, and if you are taking inspired action on these things, and, you know, there's, there's a process, there's a system.
4 (1h 13m 32s):
And so I just really delve into the, the real nuts and bolts, the real, how to, and that's what I talk about in my book, practical law of attraction. And then, yeah, and then my ultimate weight loss power pack is a 12 week hypnotherapy program that, you know, back in the days when I was first starting to work with weight loss clients, I, I created that system. And, and I that's the system that I was using with hypnotherapy clients to really cover all the bases of everything that a person needs to do in order to, to have effective weight loss from dealing with their mind, to their visualization, to just drinking more water, you know, which a lot of people don't like to do to exercising, to help the eating habits, like the whole thing is all the scripts and everything you need is all in that book.
4 (1h 14m 39s):
And, and it, and it helps, you know, it helps the hypnotherapist or even the individual who just wants to lose weight to really get an again sort of, I guess the, the theme here is like in alignment with everything happening all at once, you can be the world's best, you know, at, at working out all the time. But if you're just eating junk food, then you're probably not going to lose weight and vice versa if you have the best eating habits, but you're not moving your body, you're probably not going to lose weight. And you've, you know, firsthand cause you, you, you work with people on this, you work with people.
1 (1h 15m 22s):
Yeah. That's where I'm specializing currently. And it's because of my own journey. The reason I came to hypnosis was to, to address my own struggle, lifetime of struggle with yo-yo dieting and gaining and losing and just frustration. So, yeah, I didn't realize that you had, I didn't even realize I feel so bad that I didn't realize this, that you had a book on weight loss. I'm going to get that too. Cause I, I'm always trying to add to my repertoire and make sure that I have more value to give the people that come to me. So that's, and so that can be for a practitioner or just the person who wants to lose weight almost as if they're going to be their own self hypnotist.
4 (1h 16m 3s):
Exactly. I wrote it sort of bilaterally thinking along both journeys of mostly, I mean, it's definitely for the, for the hypnotist and it really gives the hypnotists like a, a step-by-step. I mean, almost like business in a box I had about 38 different hypnotists endorse the book before it, it came out and boy, that is that that's a, that's a job just collecting all the endorsements and, and, and doing all that. But, so that was so it's, well, a lot of the feedback that I got was like, this is like a business in the box and, you know, you can actually really start your own practice and it gives, gives every, it gives all of the, the forms that you fill out and, and all.
4 (1h 16m 59s):
So it, it really is designed for the hypnotist, but a layman person could, could just make their own recordings on there, on their phone and, and go through and, and do the, do the self-hypnosis themselves as well.
1 (1h 17m 14s):
So when you thought about the actual process of writing a book, how did you go from it being an idea to actually following through and getting it done? What kind of,
4 (1h 17m 25s):
You know, it, it was interesting because right before I w I was right at the time that I started writing it, I was a little bit like this organized. And I, I dunno if you know who Michael Losier is. One of my mentors, he, he wrote a book on law of attraction and it was about 10 years ago. And so he's kind of become one of my mentors and he wrote the forward to my book. And anyway, I ended up interviewing him on a podcast on how to write a book. And it was really interesting because he helped me so much with the process of, I mean, simplifying, writing the book of, you know, number one, just, you know, when you writing a non-fiction book, I, I believe, you know, you, you start off with a table of contents, you figure out like, what, what are the going to be?
4 (1h 18m 23s):
The, the, the main points that I want to get across in this book? And so I just would, you know, just like basically yellow, you know, I call them yellow stickies, what do you call them? Those like the post <inaudible>.
1 (1h 18m 41s):
So I'm like,
4 (1h 18m 43s):
Take the, take the post-its and you just, you know, every single idea that you want to be in that book, and then you can kind of move them around and see what order you, you want things in. And it's like, well, this definitely has to be in the book. This definitely has to be in the book. And, and you start to like, you know, really work out a, a, a, the table of contents. That's how I initially approached it. And so I wrote my table of contents, then the way that he told me to do it, it's like, you actually like lay out the book. A lot of times people will start with an eight and a half by 11 sheet, you know, but books are not eight and a half by 11.
4 (1h 19m 27s):
So you get your layout into, you know, two pages of, you know, six by nine. That's the typical size of the book, six by nine. And then, you know, you put in all of the little chapter headers and a little blank page. Well, if you've got 24 chapters in your book, you're now you've already written 48 pages of your book, because there was like a blank page, you know, before the so, so 40 pages is done already just by doing that. So now it's just a matter of like outlining each of the pieces that, okay, now, in this, in this chapter, I'm going to cover these three, these three points in this chapter, I'm going to cover these three points in this chapter would cover these three points.
4 (1h 20m 20s):
And so now you've got your little sub headings, and those might take a page page and a half, two pages. So now you've, you've basically spaced out the book and before, and then, then you might have a little sample, like I have exercises in my book. So every single, all of the, every chapter has one or two exercises. So I have the exercises, and then I have an example of how the exercise is done. Awesome. Yeah. And so before you knew it, I was trying to keep the book down to like 160 pages, because it would be less weight to mail, but, you know, it's, my book is almost, I mean, just shy of a full pound it's as 269 pages.
4 (1h 21m 14s):
It's got illustration, because, so that was the other thing that these were some tips that I got from him. It was, you know, because you want to appeal to your visual, your auditory and your kinesthetic person. So you put the exercises in there to appeal to your kinesthetic person. You put the visual, the, you know, I got it illustrated. And I actually created two characters of people that go through all of the processes in my book and this, so this is how Emma, the entrepreneur did it in this house, soulmate seeking Sam did it. And, and they had, you know, there, they were just like these characters.
4 (1h 21m 56s):
So it would appear throughout the book showing the illustration of how this really happens. And so that really brought the book to life. And it was a, it was a really, really, it was a fun, fun process.
5 (1h 22m 12s):
I am so inspired. I love it. I, and you know, that, wasn't nothing
4 (1h 22m 18s):
Another moment of that self doubt, because, you know, I had written hundreds and hundreds, if not a thousand hypnosis scripts in my, in my life and, and people, and I've gotten, you know, pretty nice rave reviews about those. So I don't have any lack of confidence or self doubt when it comes to that. But writing a book felt different to me, it felt like I'm really like you, you're really kind of getting to know my personal writing style. Like there's a difference between writing it, no script and writing, you know, your, your thoughts on, on, on paper.
4 (1h 23m 2s):
And so, so I didn't know how well received if it was going to be any good. I mean, I thought it was good. I let my husband read it. And you know, he, he's a little bit, he's, he's, he's a very critical person, so I can't really totally get like Pat, anything past him. I always have to, you know, so he definitely feeds my perfectionism a little bit. So what does, okay. But anyway, I had no idea how this was going to be received. And, and of course I wanted to get some endorsements. I wanted to get some endorsements for, for my book.
4 (1h 23m 43s):
And I wanted to get like Bob Doyle and Joe Vitale and Richard <inaudible> was the first person that ever read my book and he read it, he actually read it. And I was just blown away when he came back and said what he said. And then when Bob Doyle read it, like he actually read it because they tell you, you know, you gotta make these little blurbs, otherwise they're, nobody's going to take the time to, to, to do it. And they're not going to take the time, these big shots, they weren't, they won't take the time to read your book. And there's some that did, and some that didn't, but Bob Doyle actually did read my book.
4 (1h 24m 27s):
And I started crying when I got back the endorsement that he gave to me, it was like, Whoa, he actually read it. And he, he validates this one of the teachers from the secret and, and, and he really liked my book. And so that I was like, wow, this will be an interesting, and then I got my first review on Amazon now 134 reviews later. Most of them, five stars, most of them yet, if you hang on, though, that's where your little imposter syndrome comes in. You hang on sometimes to those, you know, those three star, two star, four star it's like reviews.
4 (1h 25m 13s):
It's like, damn.
5 (1h 25m 15s):
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
4 (1h 25m 18s):
Yeah. It's, that was that's. That was definitely a, a process of, you know, getting, getting, I think each of that's when you go for it and you just, you do the things, regardless of whether it's perfect and talk about like, not wanting to stop until something's perfect. I mean, writing a book can take some people years to get done because you keep going over it and over it and over and over it, you know, it's, it's never going to be perfect. It's never going to be perfect. And so you have to just keep going and keep taking on new challenges and, and keep challenging yourself.
4 (1h 26m 2s):
And, and that is how you're going to grow. And each one of those things, I, I believe the imposter syndrome is never gonna go away completely, but you, you chip away at it, you chip away at it by doing, and putting yourself out there and, and allowing yourself to embrace your mistakes and embrace your humanness and, and, and recognize the fact that, you know, the, the, I believe the imposter syndrome, it plays a role, a good role in keeping us humble and keeping us doing a good job.
4 (1h 26m 43s):
We, we genuinely, I mean, it means something good about you. It means that you are concerned about making sure that whatever it is that you're putting out there that is high quality, that you care about that. And I think that it, it, it does play a role in serving us in, in that humility. And that I think, you know, we're never gonna to get to a point where it's like, you can't improve that that would, that would be horrible. You know, we're always needing to improve. And so that, that imposter syndrome, I think it's good for that. I think it can be, it can be a good thing if there's always a positive and a negative to every quality.
4 (1h 27m 31s):
And so it, it can, it can slow you down and, and prevent you from moving forward and doing things, but it can also help you to be the best version of yourself.
1 (1h 27m 45s):
I love that so much. The thing that I keep thinking is, you know, if Victoria looks back and she sees the person who was perhaps in the hospital bed and $30,000 in debt, plus $25,000 in debt, plus she's not making enough to break even. And now here she is 21 years later and looking back and so grateful that she went through that. And so I just ask you, whoever is listening or watching fast forward 20 years, where do you want to be 20 years from now? And let that person let that version of you come and tell you what you need to know about taking that next step. And Victoria, do you have anything else that you'd want to say to a person who's waiting to, who has been waiting to get started?
4 (1h 28m 28s):
Yeah. You know, the thing is, is that there's always going to be that some type of a roadblock, like right now, w you know, in this time, we're, you know, it's may 19, I guess. And, and so we're still kind of dealing with the coronavirus and that's an excuse for some people that, you know, Oh, you know, let's just wait and see how everything comes out. You know, next next a couple months from now, it'll be something else because it'll be summer, it'll be the middle of, and you're going to be putting the kids back to school, and then it's going to be the holidays. It's going to be Christmas, and you're going to want to wait until that.
4 (1h 29m 11s):
And then we'll, it might as well just wait until the new year. And you know, the thing is, is that we, you have to stop waiting until the perfect time. You have to stop waiting until your perfect, you have to stop waiting until the, the perfect idea comes along. Just try something, just do something, just, you know, if anything, just to grow from the experience and something will come out. I believe that any idea that you have is meant to it's meant for you, it's meant for you to take that idea and, and explore it. And, you know, if, if, if you fail, so what failure is only feedback, right?
4 (1h 29m 56s):
And it's just an opportunity for you to say, okay, now I know one way, and one thing that didn't work what's next, and it's just a life experience. And so we only get this one life. We only get this one opportunity and just, you know, it's never too late and it's never too early. And the time is now. So if you get committed to it and begin it, then you are bound to have some, some kind of good thing, positive come out of it. And that's what I want for everyone is just for people to just get out of their comfort zone, step out there, and it can be a little icky and uncomfortable to, you know, think you're not good enough.
4 (1h 30m 45s):
Think you don't have it all figured out. Thank you. You don't know enough. The time's not right yet. Perfection, all of that, but just don't let that stop. You just start today. Right now, do something right now.
0 (1h 31m 2s):
Yes. I second that awesome. Victoria, where can people find you? And I'll put this all in the show notes underneath as well.
4 (1h 31m 12s):
Sure. So I have like a thousand websites, but I've got them all basically culminated under my name now, Victoria M gallagher.com. And so if you can, if you go there, it kind of, it gets you where you want to go. My podcast, my other product websites, my seminars, my book, everything is, is all branched off of Victoria, gallagher.com.
0 (1h 31m 39s):
Awesome. Thank you so much, Victoria. I'm so grateful that we did this, this, this exceeded all expectations. I'm so grateful. You've listened all the way to the end. What is one tiny action step you'll take now, based on an aha moment you got during the podcast, maybe that life changing action step is to come accept the gift I have for [email protected] Head there right now to get your powerful, hypnosis audio, the answer room that lets you make important decisions and get crystal clear about your next step forward on this path of purpose in your one.
0 (1h 32m 22s):
Great and precious life.