7 steps to reprogram your beliefs about love

By Lori Hammond

Coach and Professional Hypnotist. Giving you simple tools to stop overwhelm and harness joyful forward momentum.

Sometimes people say things in such a matter-of-fact way that we think, 


"Well duh. Of course that's true."


Then we think we've always believed it.


The Merriam Webster Dictionary calls this "truthiness"


Truthiness is a truthful or seemingly truthful quality that is claimed for something not because of supporting facts or evidence but because of a feeling that it is true or a desire for it to be true. 

This happened to me the other day when someone said... matter-of-factly...


"We all know that we're the sum total of our life experiences. That's just how it is."


I almost started to nod in agreement...


Then I caught myself. 


I reminded myself that I do NOT believe this. 


If I was the sum total of my life's experiences I would be crumpled up in a heap on the floor sucking my thumb. 


I will stand on a mountaintop and shout at the top of my lungs..."WE ARE NOT THE SUM TOTAL OF OUR LIFE EXPERIENCES!"


The past does NOT need to carry over to the future. 


I've been through some really hard stuff.


I suspect you have too. 


A man named Viktor Frankl experienced unspeakable abuse and hardship in a Nazi concentration camp during the Holocaust.


Later he wrote, "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." 


Please know that I do not minimize anything you've been through. My heart goes out to you. 


And I absolutely positively know that you can still be ok.


You can be better than ok. 


Freedom is available.


Today is Valentine's day. I contemplated pretending I didn't notice but that just felt wrong. 


If you, like me, have experienced heartbreak in the past, please hear me...


The past does not have to predict the future. 


What things have you proclaimed about your ability to love and be loved in a way that brings massive joy to your life? 


If you want to get a massive breakthrough in the next few minutes, do this now (don't wait till later - you probably won’t remember)...


  1. Get a piece of paper and write down any negative beliefs you have about love. 


Don't  overthink this or take a lot of time, just write in a flow of consciousness for a couple minutes. 


Don't fill pages and pages. Just write down the first 2 or 3 things that come to mind. 


  1. When you think about those limiting beliefs, notice WHERE you feel it in your body. 


How much space is the feeling taking up? 


If it was a color, what color would it be?


Do you want to keep these beliefs? 


Do you want to keep this feeling?


Move to number 3 if your answer is no. 


  1. Imagine letting that feeling you had in number 2 move over onto the paper where you wrote those limiting beliefs. 


Pretend like you can see the feeling on the paper. 


Now imagine that the feeling dissolves into the sheet of paper where you wrote those old limiting beliefs you had. 


  1. Take the paper in your hands and crumple it and throw it in the trash. 


Allow this to symbolize the release of those old, obsolete beliefs AND the feeling that used to go with them. 


Feel free to be over dramatic and really get your body involved. 


  1. Ask yourself, "What do I WANT to believe about my ability to love and be loved in a way that brings massive joy to my life?"


Write your answers on a new sheet of paper. 


Feel free to let yourself feel absolutely amazing as you daydream about the possibility of this becoming a reality.


  1. Adjust your body to take on the posture of joy and gratitude. 


Breathe in gratitude. 




Let yourself feel the feeling of having the things you just wrote down....even if you're just pretending to feel it. 


  1. Notice where you feel that hope, joy, and optimism the most. 


If it was a color, what color would it be. 


Close your eyes and allow that feeling/color to spread. 


Give this feeling a name. Write down that word. 


Rewrite Your Story


If you followed along then you just gave yourself the recipe for changing your story about love. 


You can come back to this feeling every time you think about the word you just wrote down. 


It will be especially easy to get this feeling back if you change your body language and breathing to match the positive emotion you want to feel. 


This works because it lets your entire body and mind start to memorize a new love story. 


Your old story was keeping you stuck. 


This new story is getting you unstuck


It's already started. The first domino has toppled. 


It just gets better from here. 


Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to let yourself feel this positive new feeling over and over and over. 


If you notice yourself trying to feel that old stuff you just threw in the trash, just switch to this new feeling instead. 


It sounds simple and you'll be blown away by how powerful it is. 


Happy Valentine's Day my friend. 





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