On Impostor Syndrome
Learn how Steven overcame impostor syndrome and built his business from zero to 1200 trained practitioners in only three and a half years.
If you were haunted and harassed by your own inner critic, if you've ever been curious about why hypnosis works so well, if you're a seasoned hypnotist, or if you suspect that the inner critic is actually hypnotizing you to hold back from reaching the greatness that you know, deep down is inside you, lean in and get inspired to get out of your comfort zone and create your one precious life with purpose and intention. If you like this show, you'll love my powerful hypnosis audio, the answer room, because it gives you crystal clear guidance and direction and illuminates an ingenious way to make triumphant decisions.
No matter how stuck you feel or how confused you were. This powerful hypnosis audio is my gift to you. When you go to the imposter monster.com again, that's the imposter monster.com. Don't forget the, the, the imposter monster.com. And yes, I'm done saying it. Thank you. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart for listening. I'm Lori Hammond, and I'm truly grateful for you. Welcome to my very first podcast episode. This is especially cool for me, because this is me overcoming my own imposter syndrome about making a podcast thinking, Oh, Jason monad is already knocking this out of the park.
0 (1m 31s):
What do I have to offer? And maybe the tech is going to be too hard. I just had so many reasons why I wasn't ready to start. And then I had a conversation with Steven Blake in which I realized that he has so much value to offer to this discussion of imposter syndrome, which is the idea that you have to do one more training. You need one more certification. What if you mess up when you are trying to work with the client? What if, what if, what if all these scary things that we tell ourselves, we need one more piece of perfect office office furniture or recording equipment before we can actually get started. So I hope that this imperfect podcast episode inspires you to take action.
0 (2m 14s):
Even if you don't feel like you're quite ready, are you ever really going to feel like you're completely ready in this podcast, even as going to share how he went from zero to over 1200 trained practitioners in just three and a half years, teaching them his old pain to go process, which is an amazing protocol that he'll share more about on this episode, he has also developed old fat to go and old stuff to let go. And he'll talk about how that's something that's coming up shortly as well. If you enjoy this podcast, I would love for you to rate it wherever you're listening. And if you're watching as a video comment below or send me a private message and let me know what you enjoyed and what I can do to improve.
0 (2m 57s):
I'm so happy you're here. And I hope enjoy this episode. I've been toying with the idea of doing a podcast, of course, for years. And I have had so many people coming to me talking about imposter syndrome, almost every client that's booked a one-on-one session with me. The past probably six to eight weeks has been, I really want to move forward in my business. I see this as an opportunity, but I'm feeling stagnant. I feel like I don't know enough. I need to learn more just this deep, all the voices that have gone through my head in the past. So I recognize them as, I mean, it almost feels like I call it the imposter monster. It comes and it whispers these things in your ear.
0 (3m 37s):
And it, I think it's just really something that's keeping us in our comfort zone. You know, it's actually not. It's about 50 50. And I just put out a survey, I received 66 back and I would say at least 40% are male. Yeah.
1 (3m 58s):
You say quite a few years back, I was doing a training for self-employment for people. And I interviewed them to see if the culture was right for them. And they came along thinking I was interviewing them to see if they were allowed on the course. So what I used to get is that women downplayed how good they were guys, big deal. And I noticed this so often I sort of, cause it didn't matter to me. The why, as long as I, the course was right for them, they came on it. And then I was in it when I was an employer and I have to set people off when I interviewed women, we'll have, as I said, I added 20% to it.
1 (4m 43s):
And whatever a guy told me, I'm not 20% off because of the, I employed some brilliant women who would have taught me after that, employing them.
0 (4m 54s):
That is so interesting. When I think about it, I can see the same being true. And I almost wonder if when men are doing that, when they're kind of bumping up their skills, if that's also seated in a sort of a imposter syndrome. So they think they have to inflate to make themselves look better.
1 (5m 11s):
Quite likely. Yeah. I think something I suffer from, you know, you say I'm doing something so novel that when I was on the pain panel in Las Vegas, everybody who was giving, you know, there's people questioning, it was everybody was giving the same amounts until they got to me. But I was sat with some people who've been doing 30, 40 years. It might be a little bit paranoid because I didn't want to upset them by saying, well, you know, lost the old way of doing it. Here's the new hype. So I was very careful with my ounces and everything, but all the time I was doubting myself, I was drawing it because I wasn't the expert on the new kid on the block.
1 (5m 54s):
I'm going to be doing this night. So I was like, I got this wrong. I wasn't doing Oh, brilliant. That was doing, Oh, I got this wrong. Why isn't, why is mine so different? And if it's that easy, why haven't somebody clever than me? So I come there and if I have a couple of weeks where people, people don't sort of get the results, I think they should, or, or just two people running that where I don't get the right results. I sort of talked myself down. It's not a nice feeling.
0 (6m 31s):
I think it's, it's really helpful for people to hear you share that because I think that's, I have, you know, these people that are coming to me have the same self-doubt. So to know that Steven Blake feels that way too. And he still moving forward. I was at a training in Toronto early. So I've only been doing this for three years. So I deal with so many of the same things. It's like, I'm standing on the shoulders of giants and I'm just, whenever I'm acknowledged in the hypnosis arena, I'm like really I'm doing okay. So, but I, when I was in Toronto at a training three years ago, Mike and Chris were talking about you and how awesome your protocol was. And so to me, I, when I think of you, I think of you as one of those giants of hypnosis and yeah.
0 (7m 18s):
Will you talk to me a little bit about what you do and how long you've been doing it for just share your journey with them. And I don't think that how long you've been practicing is extremely relevant and other conversations, but in the context of people who think they need years and years and years of experience before they step into their own, what would you say to that?
1 (7m 41s):
I'll answer that first rather than how I started. Because from the very first client I ever had, they didn't come for therapy. I used to sell a donut province. So I lady to help the diet products. And she told me she had Mae. And because of that, she could barely work or do anything because I had to find out the person's activity levels to put them on there. I fell out and she said to spend much more time in bed. She said, I get paid for two hours work a week, but it takes me 40 hours to do the two hours because I make a start a bit and then I have to stop. And then I have to go back to it and restart it.
1 (8m 23s):
And I just felt so terrible for it. And I was training and I'll pay on hypnosis. I sat down with her and sort of talk us through this. And I said, well, look, I'm doing this other thing as well. It could I look into this and see if I can help you. She said, what, what's it going to cost? I said, I don't even know. I'm not going to charge you, but I'd like to look into this and see if it can help. So I did everything I could over two weeks to investigate quite fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia. And at first I just thought I'd bitten off more than I could chew because you know, I'd only just completed my training.
1 (9m 3s):
I wasn't actually working on people then. But then at the end of it, I found a video from three people who've recovered from it. And all I did was model what they all said that was similar. And I realized that they were overdoing things all the time. Everybody was overdoing something I created in that moment or in those two weeks, the way to help people have fibromyalgia. And wow, that was a brilliant story for somebody who goes Cardew. But what I did is from day one, when I was actually taking people on, she came back and forth and I later, and she recovered straight away.
1 (9m 47s):
So I mainly help people with anxiety. And I had two restrictions. One is on quite remote from everywhere else. And Lincoln choose a rural malarious. There's not many people around. So I've got big towns in sort of 18 miles away in every direction. So I didn't want people coming for regular treatments. I wanted to help them in one session. So I advertise, I would do a breakthrough session with people and they'd got a major recovery in that time together. So we're not talking an hour, we're talking like 10 o'clock in the morning and go home when you sorted out. Okay.
1 (10m 27s):
So I have to get good very quickly. And I made a promise to people that if they, when they left, that feeling would stay. And if it came back, I worked on them for three. So I did put a lot of pressure on myself, but I, I think the only difference between that and having this sort of imposter syndrome is that I never think it's not going to work. Yeah. I don't know what I capable of doing, but I also don't put any restrictions on thinking that I'm not capable of doing something. So I just belonged the forward and hope for the best.
0 (11m 10s):
I would just wanted to say really quickly. I love that mindset. And one thing that stuck out to me right at the beginning is you told this woman, can we just, I don't know if this is the right word to use this word try, but can we just try this out and see, I think I might be able to help it. Wasn't this, this pressure that you were placing on yourself, but it was almost an openness and a curiosity in which you entered that, that time. Is that accurate?
1 (11m 36s):
Very accurate. Because my whole thing, even when I train people is I say your attitude needs to be, let's see. Yes. Even though I try and pick up to work on physical pain and quite soon I'm launching my old stuff to let go, which will there that emotional pain, it's always this sort of, you know, when somebody says, can you work on this or work on this? I always say, well, let's see, put somebody in front of me, who's dossier and let see, because if I haven't worked on it before, I'm not going to say, well, I haven't worked on anybody before. So it's sort of likely or whatever.
1 (12m 16s):
I actually just go for it and I'll do it. And if it works, I go, well, yeah, of course it works.
0 (12m 23s):
Now I can almost hear people who are listening saying, well, how can I charge for, let's see, will you speak to that?
1 (12m 31s):
Yeah. So I used to be a diploma and a builder, and you've got very fixed things then, because it's sort of, if somebody wants a bathroom, then you know, you put a bathroom in and the bathrooms really. But when we work with somebody working with their problem and in many respects, and this is what I teach, they have to fix themselves without our help. So I don't know if their body's capable of Monday, whatever it is, I'm trying to help them. But I do know that why don't I ask it? If it says, yes, it does say it. I made something that's really complex into a simplicity of they've got a problem.
1 (13m 16s):
Their unconscious understands what the problem is, but thinks it's protecting. And I competence, it's not protecting them. I do that in a better way. And it just goes, yeah. And it does it. I don't do enough to tell it what to do. If it's capable of beings. If you say, this is what you're doing wrong, that they don't like it. However I trust in you that you were doing it for good reasons, when you first started doing it, however, now it's just really badly impacting on the life. And I'm sure you wouldn't want that. Could you do it a different way?
1 (13m 58s):
Could you switch this whole program often and do something differently for all of them? The answer is you. Yes. And then it does it. And so this is everything. This is rushes. This is people with complex regional pain syndrome. I've lost count of the amount of people that have left my studio and walked when they came in on crutches. Wow. And I have to chase them down the road saying, you've forgotten your crutches. And they go, I don't need them, maybe that they want. And so I'm quite used to seeing things now that I, at first, I thought there were miracles.
1 (14m 40s):
I thought I got to watch a lot of miracles. I knew I didn't perform, but I got to see a lot of when I analyzed them so I can teach them to other people. It boils down to something that's really fundamental. So I talked to a woman for, I, I got to have pain and we wanted to get her straightened out because I thought he was twisted and have been, as far as I knew, either from childhood or birth, she was about like 30, 30, $40. So I got her out of the pint on her husband. I asked her if I could get out to the post issue and she couldn't move the top off of a body.
1 (15m 22s):
And I literally asked her unconscious to bring it back into balance and alignment. And she changed it, not to show up from scratch or this to drop the rounds down and was watching both of us want, we both, both Mo and her husband Joel's dropped. And she went, what you're looking at. And she didn't know anything had changed. Wow. I had two, two days thinking that can only be described as a miracle. I, I, I can't think of any other way, but then after two days I got the officer. If she'd been locked up like that all alive, she's actually developed muscles because she's intention, isn't she?
1 (16m 7s):
Right. Strong muscles. So the only thing I did is like, relax. So what did, so the thing I thought, Oh God, you know, what's going on here? And then two days later I went, I'll just help you relax. Then you say that this is, this is where we get the imposter bit from, because we're not doing it. Yeah. Yeah. I've had lots of different jobs. I've been in teaching and building and training people and management. And you sort of see everybody around you and you think, how did I get here?
1 (16m 49s):
But then when you you've been in the job a few weeks, you realize the people that book you, I'll just clever as you, or yeah. And then issuing stupid orders for you to carry out a new thing. I've never do that. So I think we, we zoom in and out of this imposter syndrome, sort of thinking, you know, Oh, I've got the job now and brilliant money. Get him the job. And it's all new. So you think, well, I don't know what I'm doing. Yeah. I think we're just effected by whether we feel good about yourself. So no one will know. We destroy yourself in so much.
0 (17m 27s):
I fully agree with you. And a moment ago you said we're not doing it. And I 100% agree with you. So when people come to me and talk about, thank you for, for doing this for me, I can't, I cannot take that compliment because I know I simply guided them through a process of unlocking that within themselves. So with that in mind, if, you know, if you were to talk to who has multiple certifications or maybe one, I just had a woman who has a 14 month certification and she feels like she needs to know a little bit more before she starts. Is there some kind of a litmus test or some kind of a base understanding that one should have to know that they, that it's time for them to move forward?
0 (18m 9s):
That's a big question.
1 (18m 11s):
There's a three letter word, which is now,
0 (18m 15s):
Mm. I have goosebumps.
1 (18m 19s):
I'm leaving now. A very interesting thing that I went to, or I went to a thing for a therapist and a piglet, not line of work. And it was a marketing course for two day weekend. And over the two days, probably about 500 people at this massive river. And I looked around just chatting to people. I said, Oh, what do you do? And people would say, Oh, I do, I do this. There were five minutes telling me all the things that did. I think it was usually seven to 15 things. I mean, just all these things to go. And then I said, Oh, how's your business going?
1 (19m 1s):
And I talked to a lot of people that weekend, not one that started the business, one of them and the hair, they were on another course learning how to market a business that contained 15 different things. This is crazy. I said to all of them, cause I, I like to play with people as well as, cause I think sometimes when you spring out, then it makes them learn. I said, so when will you launch your business? And they said, well, I'm just giving a training course next week. And what I've done that I'll probably start my business. And I said, I don't think you will. Well, I know I said, well, you didn't start the last 19 times.
1 (19m 45s):
So, and I have this, I try and people have been something that's really simplistic. It only takes a day to train. I literally, we were possible. We get people to work on somebody at the end of the day. And I still lose people who go away and think, well, I'll do this. When I feel really confident about doing it. And I have to do a lot of follow-up work with people. I bring out new stuff, I tidy up the work and say, I've refreshed it now. And I do free training to keep everybody on board, but I spend a lot of my time doing for people.
1 (20m 25s):
And it's just about this imposter syndrome that they, they feel they gotta be really good when they do it. And you haven't noticed this so much, but I've noticed it, mainly females y'all guys to send to bluff and bluster and just do it and hope they get it right. And women tend to want to know they're going to get it right, right before the star. There's that lack of confidence in themselves that it just happened to guys as well. I was in the group, Mike Mandela's group a few weeks ago. There's a guy in that. And he questions. Everything is just learned into real technical details.
1 (21m 8s):
And I put things underneath, like, why don't you just have a go at that? And I put some real soft stuff underneath to say this. I don't, you know, I've been doing this nine years. I don't use that. I did learn that. I D I can't remember any of that because you don't need it. You don't need a lot of the things you learn because it's all steps and the science behind it and everything else. But an all we need is an understanding enough to understand that person. And we think that the client's going to ask us often, we don't know the answer to, well, the answer to that is, I'm sorry. I don't know the answer to that, but there's nothing wrong with saying that.
1 (21m 50s):
In fact, yes. If we are congruent with that, we're telling the truth on our body, showing that we're telling the truth and open with the rest of it. Doesn't matter. People don't to know the technicalities and the things I never get asked them because I don't use them myself, which doesn't confuse people, which then they don't have to ask me what I meant. I, I was training one day and I mentioned something. And so millennial audience, what parts of the brain is that? Steve? I never usually ask the question, but that I thought, well, I'll just tell him, cause I know it it's they make doula. Well, this woman then started an argument could fall to the back of the room.
1 (22m 33s):
The training stopped for five minutes while everybody turned around and said, no, Steven was right. It is no, I think it's this. But this is the woman that asked the question. So she asked the question and she knew the answer. Why did she ask the question other than to, you know, look at me. I know the answer to this. It's really technical. And Steve was not giving you all the big words
0 (22m 55s):
That that's when, when I listened sometimes to presentations from hypno thoughts or other trainings, and someone does that, I think of, I'm like standing in the room in my mind saying this is a teacher. We're here to listen to this person.
1 (23m 11s):
And that's what happened. It's almost like, you know, you think good? I know even more because I know all these big words and I used to be paranoid about this. When I first started, I met this lovely woman who became a very close friend of mine, really Asian, just a few years older than my daughter. We became really good buddies. But when I first met her, she asked me what I did. And I started explaining it. And she started this cause she's a doctor. So she was doing this with our eyes sorts of life, unless she said, well, tell me about this then. And I'd tell her. And she went and then she went, that's brilliant, Steve, because that, that's the, I agree with you and shake.
0 (23m 58s):
Yeah. So for anyone listening to the audio, Steven is shaking. Not shaking his head. No. As he's speaking.
1 (24m 4s):
Yeah. This is science aside. Like you will expect from now. Yeah. So for her culture, this is, I agree with you. Oh,
0 (24m 14s):
Okay. Okay. So
1 (24m 16s):
She said, you're brilliant, Stephen. She spent a weekend with me and she, she nearly fell a little brave for a manual. And she had a black pen and the red pad. And she never allowed me to see on my nose because I said, I told you so much good stuff. I like a copy of it. And she said, you'd never go yet to say this statement. I have no idea what else. Wow. But since that day I've not feared anybody because literally somebody said, in fact, yeah, let me bring you through a different story. That proves the point. One of my students had somebody comment, quite nastily on his Facebook page saying, how dare you say you can help people out of pain.
1 (24m 60s):
I've trained for six years. I have a fully fledged doctor and I can't get people out of pain. How dare you say this? And this guy wrote to me and said, watch your report. I said, well, why don't you put all the knees? Something like this. Okay. It's always, it's always good to start off with admitting you're incompetent. So you've tried to say, Jason, you can't do this. Now. If you wanted to be able to do this, why aren't you asking how you can do it? Instead of telling me that I can't do it. He says to me now, well, I know a doctor. And he says, that's impossible.
1 (25m 41s):
I say, does he help people as a pain? Can you go to your doctors without tablets or anything? And you leave his surgery and you're not in pain. And they go, no. And I go, well, I do. So she'll Solar is too weird, but I'm confident in that now because I've helped thousands of people. But I was like this from the start. Because if you don't, you're just giving into everybody's criticism. And a lot of the time, it's not the people's criticism. It's our own internal criticism of all's thinking whether we're up to it.
1 (26m 22s):
You say, when I talk to people about being bullied, I say, well, the bully says to you, it has to have so meaning that you go inside and you look to see if you all like that for it to hurt you. Because if somebody said, you know, you're 17 foot tall and I'm sick of looking up to you and you, your Lord over it. What he, because you, something told you just go. So for it to hurt, you have to go inside and go on my life. Facts is that me? Am I that bad? You know? And a great thing everybody should learn is what other people think of you is none of your business.
0 (27m 8s):
I love that. Is there. So for a person who's maybe heard these things about themselves, perhaps even since childhood and they've taken them on as, as their own identity. If they were to check in and say, is that true? How can they access that, that part of them that can really give them that authentic answer?
1 (27m 30s):
You say, you can't ask the question. Is that true? If I've had people like that in my consulting room and they say, a woman said I'm fat, ugly and stupid. I said, that's not true. It is. It is, there was nothing I could say, I'll do that would come of it. So that she wasn't, those three things. And I said, but you know who beat you up? When you were younger? She told me. And I said, so who's beating you up. Now. She said, I said, I want to come around and you have to then to beat you up there in my head. I said, what is your head? Why don't you throw them out? You know, are they paying rent?
1 (28m 13s):
And I do bring it back to the making absurd. You know, all they pay in rent is like, no, of course not. Why aren't they paying rent? Well, I've looked at their, well, what they're doing and that you take it from your you're telling me off because I'm not real. But you're thinking thoughts that aren't real anymore. The history you painting everyday for something you were told, and there's a thing called cognitive bias. Most people are familiar with cognitive dissonance of not listening to anything you don't want to hear.
1 (28m 53s):
The cognitive bias is the way that we are programmed so that we're not absolutely logical. If we hear something and we go, Oh, that's not true. If we hear it again and again, and again, and again, and again, eventually we go, well, it must succinct sin, but you said, these people are saying those terrible things to themselves every day. And they believe themselves because why wouldn't you wouldn't lie to yourself? So somebody else has said it, you have joined them with it. And now you're making it a program telling yourself to become stupid.
1 (29m 39s):
Well, what's your body gonna do? It's gonna give you exactly what you asked for. I want to be fat, ugly and stupid. You might as well say that everyday. I want to be fat. Let's get this over and done with, so we're instructing the unconscious and we could just as easily put the good words we could say. Every day I get more and more. Every day I feel really good about every day. More and more.
2 (30m 7s):
We can just say that
1 (30m 9s):
You see to me, if I train somebody and they don't use this, it upsets me for the point of view that I'm not in this to have money in my bank and certificate on my wall. I'm in this to get all people out of pain. How do you feel trained to help people out of pain? You don't use it as a crying shame for thousands of people, not just the person I've trained that could have helped thousands of people that are pain. And they're not doing that. Why? Because they're not confident to have a gap and probably feel a little bit for
2 (30m 46s):
1 (30m 47s):
I've got the proof of this. I've got this fabulous guy called drew Coverdale. I trained him and he's a physiotherapist. And during the training I was watching him and he's like the least, the person who was least enjoying my training. And I do try and make it fun. But he, he, he was very studious and he got in touch with me a few months later and said, I haven't used this yet because I don't know how to, to introduce it to a business. What people expect me to work on them. Hands-on. And if somebody turns up and I just do your methadone and they go away and it doesn't work, you know, the insurance companies pay for it.
1 (31m 29s):
And they're gonna say, you know, well, did it make you better? And they're going to say, well, it didn't even touch me and I'll stop getting paid. So how do I do this deal? So we arranged to have a meeting, excuse me, a zoom meeting, a few weeks late or a week and a half late. And he came on this zoom meeting and he said, well, I think you're just going to tell me to do it while the work on them, aren't you. And I said, yes, that's all I thought. And drew said, this is the most fabulously drew said, well, I decided I would rehearse all the things in the script, in my head. And I would just say them in my head. So when I actually do work on somebody, I can just come out with it and I'm not going, Oh, do I do this bit here?
1 (32m 15s):
So he did a bit of an experiment. So he got a guy in front of them and he's working on him. He's worked on him for three months. The guy has been in the car crush and has got whiplash injuries. And it's one of these people where it's not doing any good. He sort of relieves the stress and the tension a bit. And for half a week, the guy feels a little bit better. And then he comes back the next week. It was just the same. It hasn't changed since he first worked. And a physiotherapist is, is, is a very skilled thing. You know, it's like five years training and he trained with me for a day. So he starts working on this chap and he say, well, I'll practice it in my head.
1 (32m 56s):
So he goes through the script in his head and he gets to the bit where he goes, right. So are you willing to let me work on you with this new thing I've learned, obviously give them permission to be worked on, but he says, are you going to give me permission to work on you? Give me some sort of sign. None of this was said out loud, the guy goes, yeah. And he goes, I think that's just a coincidence. He carries working on him and we do three yeses and he got to second. Yes, we'll eat out of the pain off. And the guy goes, so it spoke to him awhile.
1 (33m 36s):
So he slept a few, but he's just working other guy. And then he went, well, might as well go for it. This guy are working on him. So it doesn't matter. So he went through the whole process. He got the last, yes, he got the draining of the pain inflammation, intention come back in the room when you're ready. And let me know when you got back in the room and the guy he went, wow, I'm drew panicked. And he said nothing, sir. And he said, what have you just don't? He said, what? Why are you asking me, sir? He said, well, all of my pain just felt like it drained away from me. So he said, Oh, well, sometimes so you just get the right muscle in the right place.
1 (34m 20s):
And it just pops back in. It's spoken too much. So then it didn't tell you what you're doing. So he said, I just, sometimes it just happens. The guy came back a week later and said, I don't know what I'm doing here. I've had no pain ever since. Wow. So I was blown away by this. Cause I created this thing. I didn't know you could do it. So, so I'm blue. I I'm at the other end of this line going, this is crazy. This is crazy. I literally was floating around for a week. Just like, Oh, what's going like a spice down. And he said, I'll tell you something funny. Other than that, I simply can't be funny.
1 (35m 2s):
And he said, yesterday, I've worked on five people last week, every single one left pain-free and I never said a word to any amazing. I was like, Whoa, what's going on here. Then he said, I've worked on three people this week. I've started saying it out loud. It worked on the first two. It didn't work on the third one. So can you see the difference between what's happening there? What it was all about? The client you focus on the client. There's an intent there. This beautiful transmits between the two of you.
1 (35m 42s):
When you focused on you, I might get this wrong. Oh, what if it doesn't work? I'm going to look pretty stupid saying all these words and this other thing it's spooky. And, and, and you do it all you thinking about you, you don't make the connection with the person. So this is what I'm looking for or how you can help your viewers that are watching it. Now, is that about you? The more you worry about you'll get it wrong. You don't quite know how to do it or whatever. The more you get locked into this, focusing on you when I don't know what I'm doing well, can you think I knew I was doing when I created this, I was just, I play, I literally play a list.
1 (36m 30s):
I mean, it's really serious. I mean, it's really serious business, but I play out it and I had that child enjoyment of just trying something different, just saying, well, nothing's worked so far, I'll try this new thing. I might just try something. And it's almost like a throwaway. Like, it's like, well, if it's w I don't know what we're doing next. And I think works. I thought I share it with, because I think it works because it's like, there's nothing. There's nothing beyond it. It's sort of like the connection with the person. They've said something. I think that probably means this. I just follow them down that line.
1 (37m 11s):
And I'm currently because I'm putting old stuff to let go together, which is going to be training for people who already deal with anxiety. And I can't do, it's not a standalone sorts of like an LP or it's my way of doing things. So it won't suit everybody. And I want people who have already got some skills so that they already can match it across to what they're doing. So it's going to be full of gold nuggets. So this is what I actually do, not what I say I do. So I'm going to release transcripts of several sessions I have with people.
1 (37m 51s):
Wow. Now it's a bit role. And I do feel I will get a lot of criticism from people saying, I don't think you should have said, not that I'm do while I'm listening to these audios and videos. I actually say that, and I'm laughing on crying. I'm doing all sorts of things and Trudy's is watching me. And she's going, what are you doing now? And I go, I can't believe I just said this to this person. I believe that total openness and honesty with the client. And because of that, you get it back from them. And that's what we need from the client, because they feed us.
1 (38m 33s):
All the clues are only houses even. And, and all we have to do is assist them to get from where the auto, where they want to be. You know what else, directing them. They've called for our help. We just help them. And a few minutes ago, you said that you couldn't take the compliment. I think you should, but you should change it slightly. You should say, well, thank you for, for that. I, all I did was help you. You did a lot of the work, or you can say something, do I accept the compliment? Because it's upsetting for people to compliment you and not get the right fee.
0 (39m 15s):
I agree. And I do also, I'll say I, I was the guide. I am so grateful for the compliments. I'm really a feedback person. I like both positive and constructive feedback. So when I get that positive feedback, it gives me a boost and I always express gratitude for it. But at the same time, I really want to shine the spotlight back on them and help them understand this is, there's a part of you that knows things you don't know, you know, and all we did. And I'll S I'll often say we, this was a team effort. We unlocked that part so that it could make those changes on your behalf.
1 (39m 52s):
I'm pleased. He came out with that phrase because I was talking about this yesterday, that people often say, you, you tell them something, that's really a breakthrough statement. And they go, Oh, I already know that. I don't know it in the right part of them said, consciously, they go, Oh, well, I was abused when I was sick. So whatever within not going well, what can you learn from what, you know? You don't have to accept that you feel the way you do. Now. You can just change the way you feel and you don't. I mean, I love going back to calls, dealing with the calls, but I'm dealing with pain.
1 (40m 34s):
I deal with why people are still holding onto the pain. So I'm a big believer in find the cause you've got permanent change, but sometimes we call it, find the cause. And all you have to do that is give them the logic of why it's just best to let go now. But if you keep striving to find out why you could spend the rest of your life doing that in pain, physical, or emotional, while you find the answer and you might never find it, or you could be able to paint. Now, I'm just curious, why wouldn't that be better? It's almost like people come to us and they've got a red, hot poker in everlasting, red, hot poker.
1 (41m 17s):
And they called me in. And I say, I picked this open some time in my life and it's really hurting me. Can you, can you tell me why I picked it up so I can drop it? I go, well, just put your hand in that book as well, but I want you to tell me I picked it up in the first place. So I go, well, we might do that. Put your hand in that book as a book. Yeah. Let's see what we can be curious, lights later. Why all stone with it and everything else, you don't have to hold on to money. And this is all we're ever dealing with. Somebody holding up. Like the, the analogy I give is that people come to us, whether it's smoking or pain or anxiety, and they go, I've got this thing I don't want anymore.
1 (42m 5s):
And they pass it to us. And when we go to say, I'll put that in the bin for you. They pull it back and they go, but it's keeping me safe. So you've got the, culture's giving it away. And the unconscious go, Hey, you don't know what I'm doing with that. I'll looking up to you. And all we have to do. And I call it brain bargaining is just to convince our own cultures that they're actually not keeping them safe anymore, but they can let go of it. If they let go of it, a lot of fall better, life will be safer. I'm not. So the heart of every single therapy and every technique we'll have you do, that's always at the heart of it.
1 (42m 47s):
You know, that's not missing from anything. So that's what I do is I take things back to basics to say, where are we going? But it all relies on those having this open attitude. As soon as we get fixed on anything, like I can't do that. I was about to work on somebody in front of the group for trainees and the guy mates I'm talking to the client, and this is something I've never met before in my life. And I say, what's the problem? And he said, I go to a very painful knee. I got a torn meniscus. And I said, Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. But how would you like to be able to pain?
1 (43m 29s):
Yeah, look that, and there was a doc to be on news training. And he leaned forward and said, very politely right here. He called help him. Steven, why is that? He said, but he's got torn meniscus. They don't men. They notoriously bad for pain. I went, I can help him. And he said, why are you so sure? I said, because I don't know what a torn meniscus is. I love that it doesn't matter. So many people come in. I'm not, so I'm not a doctor. I don't need to know what he looks like. I don't need to know how badly broken. I just need to know whether they need the pain anymore. Whether it's helpful.
0 (44m 9s):
I think this, even this, this why this, you know, this need to know why is so pervasive. And I think that it even comes into play in the context of imposter syndrome, where one of the arguments I hear for getting started is that I need to do more self work first, or I I'm afraid to move forward because of this. You know, there's this, because I'm feeling this way because, and so I really think anyone listening can apply these concepts to the same thing. You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to have arrived. Just start moving forward. You don't, if you, you're never going to have it all figured out, you could have this master plan. And when you start taking action, you're going to iterate. Anyway. If you're paying attention to the feedback you're receiving,
1 (44m 51s):
It is about wanting to be so good that you don't stall. So it's sort of, if you don't start, you cannot prove that you're not really any good. This is why we put things off. And we were looking for this perfectionism. But you see if I, if I taught you how to do Sudoku, if you didn't know how to do it, I wouldn't mind give you a master book. I give you the beginner's book. I need two to 300 of them. And then you go, well, I get nearly everyone right now. Oh, let's go up to the medium and you work your way up to them. But people assume that the first client they get, you know, we'll have 19 personalities.
1 (45m 33s):
They, they just, well, what F I'll take, they come with this, this and this and this. Well, you just say, we'll come by next week. I'll just give it a bit more thought, say a client. Doesn't know what we're supposed to do. If I said to some of my clients, I just want you to stand on your head in that call. And if not, most of them would do it without even asking why, because it would be well, if Steve is that stuff that is obviously needed. So I want people say, well, I can't get started because of this, this and this. I wait for a few minutes. I say, are you going to tell me any more rubbish?
1 (46m 18s):
Because they're literally coming out with a list of excuses and they don't even believe them themselves. You know, because if you're not starting now, well, when are you going to stop? When are you going to feel that good? That one day you go, Oh, I'll have a client. You say years ago, I used to say, well, the doctors have a thing called a practice. I should do really good before they start off. But having been a therapist for nine years, I've learned from every single client that's come through the door. And sometimes I learn multiple things from them.
1 (46m 58s):
Sometimes I've created things because nothing outside now work on them. So I've been creative and just trying something new. Now this will make a few people jump. This is what I did a few weeks ago. I had a guy who told me that he had fibromyalgia. I'm very good at helping people. So he came along, this was, this wasn't a demo. It was a painful session. And he gets to the point where he, I get him to agree, to listen to his body and overdo things. And he says, well, I'm a businessman, I'm a builder. I got 10 people work for me, perfectionist. And I, it all has to be right.
1 (47m 40s):
And I have to go round and watch over them and kick balls over if they haven't built. And I've got a wife and kids and they rely on me and all my employees, families with oil, I said, okay. I said, just brace yourself. I don't like, and I went, well, I said, I'll just show you your dad. He said, what do you mean? I'm not really serious, but I wasn't really serious with your dad. Okay. You're done now. I'm just shocking. So what you are going to do, he said, well, I'm sure she'd Malik. I said, what about your kids? He said, the wife would help them manage.
1 (48m 22s):
I said, what about your 10 employees? He said, there's 11 other job within a week. I said, so just tell me again, what's your problem. He said, hold on. I won't do it. Wow. So sometimes you just have to challenge people with, because they're telling everybody else the same bullshit I haven't started because I haven't started because, and we need to break that. And I saw it too, because you're just not confident in yourself. And you're not going to get that by not doing it. Confidence does not come from not doing it just gets worse and worse and worse.
1 (49m 3s):
I've learned techniques and I don't put them into practice. I just sort of absorb how it works. So I might be using them. And so my, but I don't use the technique. And if I go to use that technique, I have to read the manual again. And I love the blast technique from death, Nick Davies, which is a brilliant technique. And I love it. But every time I go do it, I say, well, I'll go and get me a light pen and I'll get his manual. And I love a Riedel
0 (49m 34s):
I'm not familiar with this technique.
1 (49m 37s):
It's very good. It's a light, sorry. It's a eye accessing technique. They light on the end of the package.
0 (49m 45s):
Okay. You've taught me something similar with rapid eye movement with those masks.
1 (49m 49s):
Okay. Yeah. There were several of those things about, and because of it, because I had learned about three or four of them, I came to my own eye accessing movement. I sort of get away freely now because you can learn it in about two minutes and help me clients with it. So I could even do it for your viewers. If you like,
0 (50m 10s):
You posted something about this in Mike Mandel's group, probably a couple of years ago and I was intrigued. And so you hopped on a zoom call with me, you taught it to me. And I actually used it with a client that evening to help her release some intense anxiety and grief that she was having over the loss of a loved one. So it's an amazing technique, but yeah, I would love for you to teach us right now.
1 (50m 36s):
Okay. So I'll just explain sort of how it works first, and then I'll get you to close your eyes and then I'll talk you through what you need to do as you do it. Yep. Yes. So there are lots of, I accessing includes, sorry, I accessing methods. And it's all based on the idea that when the eyes move, you're actually looking at part of your brain to pull that information from it. So if your eyes go up into the left, then bottom right of your brain is being accessed and vice versa. If you look down the top of your brain, so, and the body knows, and the brain knows how to do that automatically.
1 (51m 20s):
So I'm a bit concerned with all the different things that I learned that all different, but all worked. So I sort of thought, well, do we need all the steps in every single one of these things? You know, we're doing it to the client, we're waving a finger in front of their face. So we're directing it all. Wouldn't it be better to allow the part of them that knows how to put them into REM sleep. That sorts everything out at the end of the day and puts it away in the right filing cabinets by giving us REM sleep. So the eyes are dancing about, and the bit of the brain it's it's moving to is where it's going to stall that, that bit of information.
1 (52m 6s):
And it's a really fast method of doing it. It's so fast that we end up with a really weird dream from it of, you know, your aunt is in a lift wearing a canoe and you can't quite work out what it means, but it just means that you might've smelled somebody who wears your perfume. So, so we have this sort of weird dream where we rationally. If we think about it next day, we can work it out, but that's been just putting everything away. Now, this is not strictly true, but it's almost that we have to half of the brain and one side is logical and one side's emotional. Now, when we have something that really affects us badly emotionally.
1 (52m 50s):
So if you think about something and it really churned you over it, and you suddenly feel like you're in danger and all that sort of thing, anxiety comes over, then what you've got there is like mainly emotional. And there's no logic there. Now, if there was more logic with it, you wouldn't get so emotional because the logical bit would say, but that's not now. That's what happened when you were six, you know, that that's over and done with, but because it stayed in the emotional side all the time, it's not going to date stamp on it. So it can't say, well, that's in the future. You're worried about this particular person. Then they're ill. And you know, that's in the future.
1 (53m 30s):
It hasn't even happened yet. And it can't go well, that's in the past and he was sick. So it should be fighting because it has logic too. So that's what we're going to do in a moment. So I want you to think I'm going to treat you as the, the client and everybody else to join in. So I want you to think of something that bothers you. Some things that you don't have the answer to every time you think about it bothers you, but there's nothing you can do about it. So I'm going to take something where there isn't, you might be looking otherwise you might be looking for more. What's the answer there. Isn't an answer to this. All the you worry about.
1 (54m 11s):
So I'm going to take that thing. You can't do anything about, I'm going to turn the level that bothers you now to do this. I'm not going to direct your eyes or anything, and you're not going to either. So just think of that thing and give it a number out of 10. No, being it doesn't bother you at all. And 10 is right.
0 (54m 34s):
It's it's probably at about an eight and eight or nine.
1 (54m 38s):
This is so strange. I always know what people are going to tell me.
0 (54m 45s):
Did you plant that? Hypnotically in my brain. I know
1 (54m 49s):
Told me therefore, after 10 and I've gone. No, you're not dying. You just thought you're a two. I may go. Yeah, I did. I didn't think. Wow. Because, well, I think people give clues. So anyway, so here's something you're going to do. So you're just going to take, you're going to relax wherever it takes you through this, isn't a trials or anything. So you could move about, you can do anything based off relaxed and keep yourself on. We'll take a few deep breaths and just closure. So all you're gonna do is you're just going to think of that topic.
1 (55m 30s):
You don't need to go any tweak details about it, but you gotta think about that topic. And you're now going to let your eyes go wherever they want to go, because this is a mainly an emotional issue for you. It's now going to be calm, balanced between emotional and logical, what ever the unconscious thinks is right for you. What is best for you and safest for you? It knows what to do. Now, if anybody's watching on all audio, they'll notice that Laura is eyes are moving about, because eyes are perfectly round. They've got a bull from. And so you will be able to see where they go now, for some people they'll think the rise all moving, but they are, and they can move out quite rapidly.
1 (56m 17s):
And you still don't know to say know. So if you do think that you're staying there, you could always move them side to side a couple of times, and then let them take over just to get them moving. And just so you know that. So I'm just going to go sign up for one minute now. And all I'm going to say to the unconscious is as soon as you've got that balance where you think it needs to be open the rise for them and let them come back into the Hello. Hello.
0 (56m 51s):
That was amazing
1 (56m 55s):
Own experience. Yeah, because apart from describing it, this is something you can teach your client to do, and they can carry on doing it for the rest of their life.
0 (57m 4s):
I love that. And a couple notes I'd like to add is that you were able to calibrate and see my eyes moving right over zoom for people who are afraid to work with people over zoom. And we just worked context free. Steven has no idea what I was, what I was holding in my mind, unless if he knew that just like he knew it was an eight or nine, but we worked context free. And I still got that same release. And for me, I can always tell something is releasing when I have those deep sighs. And I experienced those during that. So that was really beautiful. Thank you, Steven.
1 (57m 36s):
And what number is it now? That just for those who aren't able to watch, Laurie's looking for,
0 (57m 49s):
You know, it's, it really is strange because I, even though I do this and I know how this works, I I'm surprised to see that I'm not finding it.
1 (57m 57s):
Yeah. And that's the thing you said, there's no trickery involved. I'm not using clever words to say you can't get it back now. Can you? There's none of that because I didn't do it. If, if you, if you're unconscious did it for you and he thinks it's the right thing to do, then it's fixed. It's done. So this isn't something you have to do every day or whatever you keep thinking about the same thing and doing what, when it's gone, it's gone. Or when he's gone down to a level accepted, because we've asked the unconscious to make it a safe level that you might think, Oh, I wish it was lower, but that's where it thinks it should have been in the moment. If it's not low enough.
1 (58m 38s):
And you think, well, I'd like it to get lower. You can just literally close your eyes and go back and say what in the next few days or weeks or however long it takes. But as soon as possible, I like that to go down to zero
0 (58m 52s):
And this is something we can just do coach ourselves through. And there's no deep trance necessary.
1 (58m 59s):
No, there's no trucks. Most of the work I do, even though I love hypnosis. Most of the work I do, doesn't involve trunks. Sometimes it will happen. And some of that, I can't help because I've got a fairly hypnotic voice when I slow it down. So I, nobody driving at the moment. And this is the artist therapy is becoming whatever you want the client to be. And this brings us back to the original topic, really, which is if you're tight about working on somebody that it's not going to work so well because you're tight.
1 (59m 39s):
Whereas if you have a, let's say, I don't have, let's say acute. And then that there is some magic happens when the therapist talk about getting rapport with somebody and how'd you get rapport, you don't need to be taught rapport. Tell me all your life for goodness sake that the certain people we meet and we just go, well, I suppose there's no reason for it, but usually it's because they've got the defenses down because they're open because the, and that's all we need to be.
1 (1h 0m 19s):
I mean, I despair when people say, how do you feel to clients? So you know who you like to work with? You call, enjoy working with any client, get out of the business. You've only got, you've only got to deal with it for a few hours and then they go home and they give you money as well.
0 (1h 0m 41s):
Oh yeah. And I think you touched on this earlier, too, when you said, when you're just really fully present and making it all about the person in front of you, that's going to build automatic rapport.
1 (1h 0m 53s):
Oh, absolutely. I have. I have people who come with depression suicidal and within a few minutes, they're laughing. I did, I had one person who came, who were going to take her life. She phoned me up and was just making an inquiry. But we were random inquiring. At first. I thought he was a bit of a windup just to sort of check the prices out. I didn't know what it was after a few minutes on the phone. I was like, but you haven't told me what's wrong with you. And I, I was very fortunate. I had been on suicide awareness training a few weeks before, and then this has went to the back of the head and I went, you got to tell your own life.
1 (1h 1m 36s):
And she said, yes. I said, well, where are you? And she said, Oh, about 40 miles from you. I said, we'll get in the car and drove it very carefully. I'll see you as she came. And she was just as bad when she got in the room and she kept saying, but what have I got to live for? And I said, I don't know, because you haven't told me anything about you yet. I have no idea it. Wasn't what you told me. And you don't telling me. I had about two and a half hours of the, when I got to utter despair of, if I let this woman go, she's going to die. I didn't know what to do. And I didn't know if I had to fucking emotional. I didn't know if I had to find the police and stop her.
1 (1h 2m 17s):
I didn't know if I was allowed to physically restraint. I didn't know what I could do. And it was quite a few years ago and I got to a certain point and I'll cut the swear word out. But I said, I haven't got an effing clue. I'm going to do with you. I said, I'll be absolutely honest. I haven't got an effing clue what to do with you now. And she left and I said, why are you laughing? She said, I didn't think people are useful. I do. I spent another hour. It was really full with that. And we spoke swore and I dealt with it and she skipped down my driveway when she left.
1 (1h 3m 2s):
And she came back for about three or four hooks. But if I ever said that I lost her. And I think the world would have lost it, terrifying situation, but there's only one person. I thought that everybody else comes in. And I just, I have unconditional love for people. And within seconds, I'm working with them on this is the difference. You know, people. So you, haven't got a hundred percent of the responsibility. You've got 50% of it. Now I know the right things to ask and the right things to prop them with.
1 (1h 3m 43s):
Occasionally the whole new idea of this'll work, which is usually funny, but I'm not afraid to do that because I've got the, you see, I, I don't have the position that some people have where if you've got an hour, if you take the lid off the can of worms courtroom. Now before the interview session, you got to put that lid back on in court. Whereas I say, where you're coming at 10 o'clock, we're going to take the lid off. And then we're going to put you back on won't finish. And I don't care when that is. And I've even said to people, you see, you can prepare clients for what's going to happen in the session.
1 (1h 4m 29s):
So mine is right. I'm going to say a lot of things. I'm going to do most of the talking, which is unusual. You think you're coming here to tell the counselor something, go to a counselor. Do you want to be listened to, I'm going to listen to enough so I can find the answer to help you. And you're going to provide the answers. So I just want you to be open and honest, do anything that I ask of you, because trust me, it will only before reason that helps you get
4 (1h 4m 60s):
What you've asked for.
1 (1h 5m 2s):
And I think what might happen at some point, it might not happen to you, but a lot of my clients just before they're released from the problem, they get a little bit kind of keen on these because the unconscious is about to let go of it. And it does a double check. Will you still be safe when I let this go? And so when you get to that feeling of fear and he saying, don't worry, I'll get you through it. And about 20 minutes later, you won't have that problem anymore. And you see if you don't do that, they would freak out at that point. Well, it's come back. Now.
1 (1h 5m 44s):
I did have one girl who I've got a very long back garden and it wasn't fair. He went to this Tracy side and he went down the gallery. He said, Oh, I need some time. And I knew he was having a little bit of honey. And I thought, I'm getting back. When is it? And he went down to gold after 10 minutes, I couldn't skate. And I went out and I didn't want to sew the spring out on him. So I'm sort of looking around freezing. And eventually he just walks through walls. Now I went to the little facts actually back in. I said, for awhile, I thought you'd done a runner.
1 (1h 6m 25s):
He said, I would have done by that. Know where my car is. Oh my goodness. So I do a little bit of mind reading. I of know when they're trying to escape.
0 (1h 6m 37s):
I love that. Stephen. What, what did you, if you're, if you're open to sharing, what did you do before you started studying this work? Because I feel like you have such, you have such a natural way of finding insight and finding, I love the way that you kind of creatively call people out on their excuses. I'm I'm wondering what in the past has set you up for doing what you're doing now.
1 (1h 7m 4s):
I think we're all born with a personality that sort of stamps how we see the world. So somebody pretty well knew the day that if you see a litter of puppies around the mother, you know, there'll be one that's scampering out. There'll be one that shy and hidden in the corner. And you know, so we're born with a personality and that doesn't really change for us. So when I try and pick, so you don't have to become me or like me, you just lend this around how you are. So I think I've always been a personal challenges. I took all my toys to this when I was younger to see how they work and they were deliberately made.
1 (1h 7m 44s):
So if you want to build these tabs, they broke off. So I had a lot of broken toys very quickly. And then later on, I went on to Goldman and motorbike. When I was 17, I became a plumber. And including you learn all the other trades and skills. So I designed a bit, we own house with us. I do lots of things for the teaching and marketing. And what everybody needs to realize is that it's not what you're taught. That helped you, help people. It's your life, knowledge and everything you've learned on it, on that journey. So I've got 27 different jobs, and that's not one of them that hasn't contributed towards this.
1 (1h 8m 34s):
I've been an estimator surveyor, I've done lots of different things, but every single bit of it comes back to doing what I'm doing now. And it's quite strange. People keep looking for the purpose and I wish people would stop doing it. Thank you. And you, when you ready. Yeah. Your life purpose. And I didn't get my life purpose until I was 58 when I tried in an LP, but then always had an interest in how the mind works. And obviously when I was inside, it was a marketing. You have to understand how people perform, to buy what thought processes they have and how to sort of play along with that and join in with what they're after and so on.
1 (1h 9m 18s):
So I've always had this interest. So I originally go into this. I I'd been helping people with weight loss for seven or eight years, but only by selling the Cambridge diet plan, which is a powder that you mix obviously shake. But even when I was doing that, somebody said you don't just the power to pin pie. I thought it was a lovely expression because I really care because the people I was helping and, and I studied a lot of Tony Robbins and things like that. So I was well into positive attitudes. I started to spot a few problems with it. Now that people think they have to be positive all the time, and that's not true either.
1 (1h 10m 3s):
And I was helping people with their emotions and the psychology of losing weight or keeping the lights off. And I noticed a few people that the diet worked brilliantly and I even had one woman lose eight stone was in quite a short period of time. I think it was eight months. And, and then she just stopped seeing me. And then the next time I saw her, she'd put all the weight back on, plus an extra stone, which is what tends to happen if you do it. I just wanted to help people. And, and we had a conversation earlier where I said, I noticed that women were under confident of their skills and guys tend to be overconfident.
1 (1h 10m 46s):
And I realized, and I was dealing with probably 90% females, 10% males, which I didn't expect as a guy to be doing that. Cause the, the woman who sold it, it was like a 60, 40 mix. So I thought I'd get mainly males, but I got about nine because I'm female. And I noticed this in most of them that it was just lack of confidence, lack of self belief. And I wanted to help them. And I didn't know how, but I don't hypnotherapy a few years before when I'd gone through a message, go through a very low point. In my mind, someone, I was a massive believer in it and had always wanted to train in it.
1 (1h 11m 28s):
So I went online to see if I could download a script, to help people with weight loss, with confidence. And I found a few scripts, but I didn't know how to read them out. And so I kept trolling through the internet. And eventually I found out this course that said, you can come learn an introduction to NLP and hypnosis for the weekend and it's free. So I just went to pay for hotels and things to go down that I, I feel this is what I'll be looking for. I signed up when he comes to me the best part of about 6,000 pounds, because I didn't, I didn't have, I didn't have it.
1 (1h 12m 7s):
And I sort of stick it on credit cards and played around with things until I could. And then I had to get really good really quick because I had to stop spending money at it. So I, I think with, with a lot of things, it's, it's not about how you feel and if you're ready, it's really jumping. Yeah. You want them to know that you can sweat?
0 (1h 12m 33s):
I learned hypnosis. I did the same thing where I kept wanting to get started and talking myself out of it. And so I tell people, I almost like mama burdened myself out of the nest. I gave my note. I sat down and I, I really did some soul searching and what's the worst that could happen if I go all in and had a safety net in place. But I, I gave notice at my job and I stepped into this full-time and I was terrified, but I put myself in a position where it was sink or swim. And I was so determined. I, I loved my job as a hairstylist. It was amazing, but I was already to be able to just make a more meaningful change in people's lives and to be able to work from anywhere in the world, which is why I do zoom sessions.
0 (1h 13m 19s):
And it, I had no idea if I was going to be good at it. I, I knew that I had great training, but it was terrifying for me. And I did. I, I essentially gave myself an ultimatum in it. I'm so grateful. It's been so hard, but I'm so grateful that I did it.
1 (1h 13m 38s):
Well, what we do have to challenge ourselves and challenging ourselves. Isn't this internal battle to say, am I go, can I answer everybody's questions? Can I do this on? It's not loud. We literally have to launch it is, is a good example. If we people talk about planning for the future and Donald's setting. So now I was in sales and I met lots of goals. I was the top salesman in about nine Africa companies. The other one was life insurance, and I was too happy to be able to sell life insurance, all the rest.
1 (1h 14m 19s):
I just looked after the client. I found out what they wanted. If, if it wasn't my product, I told them quite quickly. Now you're not going to get that from this product. You need to get somewhere else. So I, that always worked for me because then they would send me friends and relatives, who is so honest, if, if it's not right for you, if you like something. So I got very good at that. And a lot of the things that I learned where for instance, I recorded myself or every sales call. I went on all the little audio in my pocket. As soon as I put it on record, I forgot about it because I'm there in front of somebody and it was scary.
1 (1h 14m 59s):
And so I forgot about this technical. The only time I didn't forget it was when I plus press play, that would record the previous call. But it's a way all therapists getting better is to, if you're not going to play it back to anybody else and you just listen to it in your own privacy, and then you can listen to things that you've missed. So in sales is Spire signals. They send off signals going out ready. And if we're too obsessed with the soul, from getting the sale, we don't see it.
1 (1h 15m 41s):
We just go well. And they say, could I have it on Thursday? Which is like, I'm going to buy it. And we go, Oh, we'll come to the delivery dates later. I'm still going to try, you know, I was still trying to convince you, you need to go it, but they're saying I'm going to buy it, but they're just not using those words. But when I played the tape, I used to put it on another car in between the next call. I'd play it back and I'd go, Oh, that's so obvious. But it was obvious. Now the next call, I couldn't do anything with the one I missed, but I can now make sure if somebody said that I cannot go, yes, you can have it too.
0 (1h 16m 19s):
So for a person who tends to beat themselves up, when they listen to playbacks of their own voice, I just had a woman last night that said, I want to listen to this amazing call that we had yesterday again. But I'm, I hate to hear the sound of my own voice for how would you, what mindset would you have someone listen back in to help them not be judgmental of themselves, but to use it as a time of constructive feedback?
1 (1h 16m 44s):
I think as long as you're doing it for yourself, just be easy on yourself. I must come out with a lot of rope. I really must cause I talk about, but it's, it's not that somebody is going to tell you that to me, because there's so much good stuff in there that it's sort of allowed for. And I used to hate, so my own voice, I mean, it was awful, but we have that because nobody hears themselves the way other people hear the, and everybody who loves you is heard that voice that you're now hearing for the first time. And if you want to alter your voice, you count.
1 (1h 17m 28s):
I used to have, because I used to talk really, really, really fast. I had quite a high pitch voice and which didn't go down very well because my son, when I was born was Betty B E double T. So you can imagine me call Betty. And so this is why it's a sense of humor, survival skill. So I learned, and you can do this either way, but if you won't give always higher or lower, you can change it, change it in a few weeks. I love this thing called homing down. And all you do is if you want your voice deep, you just go and then you hold it at that level.
1 (1h 18m 18s):
If you want it to Holly Bush, you elevate it high. How do you just make your muscles work around that?
0 (1h 18m 25s):
What an amazing little unexpected nugget. This is, I'm going to use this.
1 (1h 18m 30s):
And that's all I did. And I would say within six weeks, my always changed dramatically. So I'm not too worried now because it's not my voice that matters. It's the quality of what I say. And everything I say is just observations of me learning from my own life and to my life. So the, the woman I helped that was my first ever therapy client. And she's got over on me was because I collapsed at one stage and spent three months in bed, barely able to get after, but just to go to the bathroom and it wasn't until I worked on her, I repaired my own.
0 (1h 19m 17s):
Thank you. Thank you. I love that. You made that point.
1 (1h 19m 20s):
Yeah. So, so don't think you have to be right before you help them as you help Lemmy will help you. Yes. Because virtually everything you told them, that's common sense and sensible for them will be common sense and sensible for you and your unconscious will hear it. And this was brought to, I've got a brilliant example of this, of an unknowing programming of myself. I helped a woman who had, she had a Trump nerve and when she took her all up to here and used it, and I went through the fact that we all have a pacing system in our body and it shouldn't go from comfortable to really hurting in a split.
1 (1h 20m 8s):
So you should lock every other joint and you go to you couldn't move it. And there's a range where it stops when that stop. It still doesn't hurt. But if you do things slowly, there's that it's comfortable. It's all, it's uncomfortable. It's getting more uncomfortable. It's starting to hurt a bit. It stopped all I'll stop now. And just by talking to her about that, it changed the arm and it, when she could lift it all the way up. Wow. Now about three days later, I go to an event where I, it was a free event to learn, to be a guest speaker and w own a fortune.
1 (1h 20m 50s):
And as all free events, it came to a sales pitch in the afternoon. I'm the guy who was very clever that you trapped everybody in the room on you, very clever language to say, you've come along. You want to improve yourself. And you know, you've had my free stuff all day and you want to sit and listen while I do the sales pitch. Now he trucked everybody in the room and I had buck pain until I turned off nine years ago. And I stumbled gradually. So two feeling uncomfortable. And at first it was, well, I've been in a hotel chair all day and I was just doing this. And I had the coat in the bag and I really wanted to go.
1 (1h 21m 30s):
But, you know, I knew he was going to point me out from that to other people. If I went, nobody was leaving. Everybody was in favor of this guy. So I can't tell me Covid bucks. I can't do anything. I went to the back of the room. I'm in pain. It gets worse. I'm exercising, bending. I'm going home. God I've felt in years. I even went to the toilet and nothing here, back down again. And after a while I was in so much pain, it was groomed to, Oh, and I thought I've got to go home. And people were leaving me. You're going to think they thought it was going to do something else.
1 (1h 22m 12s):
But I thought I've got to go. I mean, so we would probably not call, sit. I'm disturbing the audience now because I'm making soap. So I grabbed me kind of like, I don't, I didn't even look at the guy. I sort of just went, you know, a cup of coffee. I hope it, you know, I'm going to go. I did the hand signals. I went out and I was like closed the doors room, every little bit of pipe, amazing art told this woman that the body doesn't go from a cold foot to sharp pain. It's giving you a message to tell you something that my message. Well, she can get out of it. Statement is fine.
1 (1h 22m 53s):
But the embarrassment level was okay. So my body went well. Let's try you with a bit of a discomfort. Cool. Let's try you with a bit of pain. Let's try it with a lot of pain. Let's try. You were really low pain. Another one. Oh, defeated that I don't care anymore. And I got out, I didn't need it anymore. So it went away amazing. So I can ask her that. So it was me. So that was me working on a client, solving a problem for them. It solved the problem for them
0 (1h 23m 25s):
Because your unconscious mind was listening just as well as hers.
1 (1h 23m 29s):
Yes. I mean, it did bring me to a point I was always going to make earlier and then I'll go destructive. I often do struck myself. Was that when we goal setting, this is how we tend to do in five years. I want this thing. So then we say, right, I need to know. I'll actually get that. What's the point in getting to step out. You have the reason to step nine. Yeah. So we go, okay. So I'm going to plan every step. So there's one, every six months for five years back, we tend to steps, but it takes me nine, nine months to think of the 10 steps.
1 (1h 24m 8s):
So now I go out with a fully formulated plan, but I get on the first step. And by the time I get to that step, it's nine months now. And I'm heading towards my goal. And step two is in front of my book. Now there's lots of things in its way because things have changed in nine months. They're now step two. I have to go over here. I want to get to step two. I realize step three is miles away. So I make a new step three and eventually I make a new step three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Yes. Then I get to my goal. And I've only used that. Well only one or two.
1 (1h 24m 49s):
So I'm now on step 10, which is the goal. Now, when we focus on a goal, we only get the goal. We forget everything else in our life. So when you get this, you go, Hey, I've got this thing now. I can't remember wanting this because you wanted it five years ago. So we've got to have goals are open-ended. And when we get there, we can know where, how much further to go on. And so, and also when we get to the goal, we don't want to look around and go look having a multimillionaire. My wife and kids are going to look at this. Where are they?
0 (1h 25m 29s):
They left you two
1 (1h 25m 29s):
Years ago. Did you don't notice? And this is the trouble when we're obsessed with goals. So at that very meeting, I'm killed to go in and the guy joins me in the queue. And he said, what's your goals? I don't know him. He hasn't introduced himself running what? Your goals. I didn't want to sit next to him. He seemed the sort that would talk all the way through the lecture. So I wanted to put him off. So I said, I don't have any. And he and everybody turned around in the crowd cause everybody was goal set. I looked at the idiot. You don't have any goals. Then I explained what I just explained to you that you, you know, when you get it, you don't really want it anyway.
1 (1h 26m 13s):
And he said, well, what do you do? And I didn't have an answer, but I've got this fine tuning with my own conscious that it helps me out. So it gave me an answer. I found myself saying to this guy, something I'd never heard before in my life, which was, I've asked my unconscious to give me a life. So frigging awesome. I cannot even imagine it now. Wow. Wow. I turned from the village idiot to who said that wasn't me, my unconscious major for me to tell them my own culture. Isn't that incredible?
0 (1h 26m 52s):
That is incredible. And that really resonates for me because part of the reason I chose this career is ultimately it's because I, I love helping people. And I did a lot of that actually in the context of being a hairstylist and people just unloaded on me and they would leave feeling prettier and more, more they, they felt heard. So I loved that aspect, but I really wanted to travel. And as I have continued in this work, I, I get so much gratification from it. And I, it has allowed me to have more time, more deep time with my daughters and really enhance relationships here.
0 (1h 27m 34s):
But now that that travel dream is not as bright and shiny as it used to be. But by just continuing to go down that path and anyone listening, this is a golden nugget. What Steven just said about, just take the next step, just take the next step. Because when you try to plan the whole thing out, you are sabotaging yourself
1 (1h 27m 53s):
And we, we don't need fixed goals. I mean the idea of vision boards and all that, that one sentence. I said, I didn't have to repeat it. It's not putting on your mirror and say, every day it's giving them a structure to your unconscious. It's giving it permission. Now I haven't thought of this before, but listen to that word per mission. So I'm allowing you to do this. Yeah. This one thing it's permission. Oh my goodness. I'll do that again for you. For that mission mission, you see three and a half years ago when I started it all came together.
1 (1h 28m 40s):
It started off as I'm going to help everybody. I can't answer pain. And then I realized that I could only help so many people, but I thought, well, I've got to train other people to do this. And then I made my mission to help as many people as possible in the world to pay. Now, most people who are goal setters would say, it's not specific Steven, but I now have 1200 practitioners. If I'd have decided to get 1200 practitioners by now, I would have about 200 practitioners and a fabulous spreadsheet that told me how I got the other thousand, because I would have been so focused on, you know, how do I get the, how do I get instead of just doing it?
1 (1h 29m 30s):
So things are all Gannett. You, you help somebody who tells somebody who, who helps somebody who tells somebody another, they got somebody who's so keen to become a trainer. And I really panicked. It was like, this is my baby. I feel sweat and tears. I spent years developing it, thousands of hours and not getting paid. I spent some years earning an income. This, this helps me thousands and thousands, thousands of pounds, but I kept pulling at it and I didn't want somebody to just go, Oh, I've got it now. So I was paranoid. But then I thought, well, the more people I trained to train, the more people I train.
1 (1h 30m 13s):
And that adds to the mission of getting as many people as possible. We will have pain. So I can see a time when the poorest village in the poorest country in the world will have somebody. Who's a practitioner who might not learn much, but probably like double what everybody else does per hour to help people. They pay him two hours, you know, three bucks or ice or whatever, and he's happy and they're out of pain. But then that's what I'd like to say is that this sort of takes off until people no longer think of having to go for drugs, painkillers or whatever.
1 (1h 30m 53s):
They'll just think of a natural way of doing it. I don't care if he's not able to make it. I don't care if somebody else is Brown or whatever, or it's just so widespread, you know what Reiki or whatever. I don't care. As long as he gets paid by the pain. I love that. My good
0 (1h 31m 12s):
Friend, Emma, RMS trained with you.
1 (1h 31m 14s):
Oh, absolutely. Yeah.
0 (1h 31m 17s):
So if, if you wouldn't mind, I would love if, unless there's something else you want to wrap up first, I would love to talk a little bit about the marketing side of it said that 20% of our efforts, fields, fields, 80% of the results. So if you were to look back and perhaps in hindsight and recognize what the key things were that you did to start to build your business, the things that made the biggest difference, and perhaps anything you would tweak, if you were, if you had it to do again,
1 (1h 31m 47s):
It's a really interesting one because I taught marketing. And yet this is the hardest thing I've ever had to market. It's the equivalent of saying, look, this is so new. You don't believe it will work, but I can show you windows. It's a difficult thing to say. So I started off helping people with anxiety, but a lot of people don't pull what they've got anxiety. And I didn't want to put people off with OCD or holding or so I started talking about I'm a thought coach, or I'm a thought, I won't start the conversation thought Tamer, because I was like, I don't want to use those words.
1 (1h 32m 32s):
You know, this is so different. I want my own words. But of course nobody understood them. And it was really weird because I very little, and I didn't help as many people as I should have done because of what coming through the door, the ones that did look at it. But most of the work I do is almost that people forget how they were before they came. So it doesn't get a lower referral. Like you think it would, I've had a few people who then get me loads of clients because they just told me, but most of my clients go away and they just forget, they used to be a pain or have anxiety.
1 (1h 33m 13s):
It's a simple design. So I've done things like body, mind, spirit ever. I've I think adverts don't work. I just totally get nowhere without you can pay a lot of money and it gets improved a lot of people, but it doesn't even result in a phone call. The thing I found is working is I'm in a few groups. I I'm deliberately restricted. I'm not sort of like, I'll go in all these groups and are trying to get somewhere. So I have enough groups that I can cope with when somebody posts something, I can see it and then I'll just put it out. So that's helpful.
1 (1h 33m 53s):
I don't mention all pain together. I don't do anything. I just say, well, try this. And then people are intrigued. And then they'll say, what do you mean, Steven? And I'll go a little bit deeper. And Martin and Dell's group has been incredibly brilliant. I love the guy to bits to improve. And I managed to meet them last year. That's been really good because even in that group, if I'm not in there, somebody mentions pain. It's only two or three posts before somebody tags me on it. And even my body mind spirit events where I've been going for probably five years and saying, you know, I'm a thought coach and I help people anxiety.
1 (1h 34m 38s):
All of a sudden I got new bats. I was getting new banners every six months. Like these will work different designs, different things on it, less, more, you know, all sorts of things, even though the tenant. So people could go in a booth and chat to me privately. And I went with my new palace and it just said, I help people with physical and emotional pain, the woman who named me for five years. And usually it was on the next medium. She said, Oh, you help people with anxiety then
0 (1h 35m 19s):
1 (1h 35m 20s):
Well, you said anxiety. She didn't ask the question. She goes on with that. Is that what you do? I've always wondered what you do next to me for five years. So it was when I focused on one particular topic, that's when things happened. Yes. This is the problem with marketing that we can market the role thing. If you Mark hit gnosis or hypnotherapy, you're actually saying, I am one of the people that does hypnotherapy hypnotherapy is good for all these things, by the way, why don't you go online? Just type in hypnotherapy and see who's closer to you.
1 (1h 36m 0s):
And who's the cheapest. That's what you're saying, right? You, you have to beat yourself up. This is what I do. And I'm very good at it. A lot of people are so frightened of that. I'm not training. If I tell them to for a weekend on lobbying called congruent marketing, I was so unfamiliar with congruence. I to look at them in a dictionary before I signed up,
0 (1h 36m 27s):
1 (1h 36m 30s):
I think it was about how are the people gonna find you? If you're hiding in a Bush, you've got to be able to do the spotlight. You got to say, I do this.
0 (1h 36m 42s):
Are you telling me that the idea of, if you build it, they will come. Isn't true.
1 (1h 36m 46s):
Nah, not if you build it right. If you just build it, who's going to come to it. Who knows? Who knows you built it. So you have to tell people you've built it.
0 (1h 36m 56s):
Yeah. But you have
1 (1h 36m 58s):
To tell them what's in it for them. Yes. You say, we all go by, you know, quite a lot of what page you start with here. Let me tell you about me.
0 (1h 37m 13s):
And they're bored in two seconds. Yeah.
1 (1h 37m 16s):
And I have lots of people who say, I can teach you marketing and photos and all that. But first of all, let me show you my yacht. Now I've switched over in seconds. Unlike if you understand marketing and you can't teach it on the fact that the person has come to you about them. Yes. You know nothing about marketing. You don't teach me anything. So it's always about them. And even when I had some Cambridge diet that the company used to put a page for you that was linked to the directory. And so somebody would put in the postcode and they get their sort of five nearest people.
1 (1h 37m 60s):
So it was quite unusual to have a guy doing it. It's mainly females, but most of the other peoples short brief, but you got to stay. The case was I went on the diet. I was 18 stone. I'd lost six times. So I think it's circled to me. And mine was, Hey, you're struggling with your weight, losing weight and put it back home. Your promise. I can help you. But sometimes about them listening to back. And I used to get so many people traveled to come and see me compared with the one that was in their street. Yes. Just because he, well, you know, I want you to take notice I'm the customer, you know?
1 (1h 38m 43s):
So we solve people's problems and they always say, look for the pain and heal. It will ex that's exactly what I do. And I want people's pain. Oh yes I do. But, but it's, it's something I'm still working on every day to find how to say it in a way that makes it become a logical, but takes it from being this miracle that takes into look, you know, you've tried drugs, you've tried everything out. You've had a pain it's 10 years. Since you injured yourself, what would you like to be able to pay? Would you just like to try this? Yes. It's that sort of attitude towards it.
1 (1h 39m 25s):
And this works because there's a good logic there. You don't need somebody telling you that you've got an engine back every day and that's all the payment message does. We're just going to ask it. If it's sensible to turn that off, let's stop telling you every day you got back. Could you just remember you go about that? And they say, yes, I go, well, you don't need the pain then do you? I mean, it is it's deaf. Does it sound? Is I that
0 (1h 39m 51s):
Amazing? I find that the, the more simple that I've made my, my sessions, the more simple I make my message. The more, you know, people listen, when you ask them about what's happening to them in their day to day life, how this problem is impacting them right now, instead of offering some, some like big, beautiful future, you're gonna have a be profoundly peaceful and release all your anxieties. If you say, do you want to stop dreading getting out of your car? When you pull into the driveway at night, you're going to have grab way more attention.
1 (1h 40m 30s):
Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. It's more sensible for people.
0 (1h 40m 34s):
Yeah. So what I, what I hear you saying is you're, you're building essentially, you're building rapport inside these groups. You're getting people to know you, to like you and to begin to trust you. And then another thing that I see is that you have essentially created a sense of prestige for lack of a better where, you know, I'm in Toronto and Mike Mandela is talking about you. I hear different people. Your name comes up over here. It comes up over here. And so I'm, I'm thinking if all these people know like, and trust Steven Blake, he must be a great guy. So I, so many people that I'm doing these sessions with right now about imposter syndrome.
0 (1h 41m 14s):
They're like, well, I just have to get this product just right. And I created an anxiety product. It's the first thing I did in my, when I started doing this. And it was brilliant. It was amazing. I didn't sell a single copy because I didn't have anyone to talk to about it. So I think that people, you need to just get out there, start letting people get to know you. I know it's scary putting yourself on the worldwide web and you might open yourself up to criticism. But as Steven said, it's Noah. It's none of your business. What other people think about you? And here's where Stephen said a little while ago, playfulness comes in. So for me, when I think sometimes all my heart will be pounding. When I'm about to put something up on, on Facebook, I do most of my marketing through videos on Facebook.
0 (1h 42m 1s):
And I'm just terrified. And I'm thinking, Oh my gosh, I can't believe I said this. I can't believe I'm going to put this out there. And then it's almost like this little girl who skips down the street and just doesn't have a care in the world, just hit the enter button. And it goes out. And it's just about letting people know you're there. And that, that in and of itself establishes you as an expert in your field and lets people know, okay, when I'm in pain, this is the person I reach out to.
1 (1h 42m 29s):
Absolutely. We just have to do these things if we overanalyze never allies. And if anybody, if a client came to us with these problems, we'd say, Oh, I've got the answer. I can help you with that. Yes. We just need to treat it. We need to treat yourself with love. We get talked out of it that we lose self worth. We I've got three videos I put together about self-worth that there are so effective. There are about terminates each I've put them freely on my website. If you go to old pain to go.com forward slash Academy, it's one of the first things online.
1 (1h 43m 13s):
And I let people go there and help themselves because it is just a little thing. And it works so effectively because we're in charge of our own self worth. We don't realize that. So I'm not looking for the whole thing. But when somebody says, I say to people, well, what's your level of self worth currently. And they go, it's a, I can see they're going to say four. And they go it's seven. And they go, yes. I know. Yes. I make fun of it because it's like, yeah, you don't have to me. You know, just tell me the truth.
1 (1h 43m 54s):
It's fine because that's what we're here for. And then I, I take me through a little bit of a few minutes off if I say so a few minutes ago, you told me you were tired, your two 10 in, in yourself. Yeah. So what if I told you that that was originally based on what everybody had, the way people treated you when he was really young, if he got neglected or you know, you didn't get looked after even getting the love you expected you, then didn't expect to get that low. So then you should have almost taught people, not to show you the love and affection. And you've gradually lowered yourself worth over a period of time to match in with what you think of the people think of you.
1 (1h 44m 36s):
But I didn't say what do other people think of you? Did. I, I asked you what your leg lifts, self worth is. And there's only one person now who make it a 10. Is you how you can do that. Now, why don't you come frat for the next 10 years? Why don't you give me reasons while you don't get to a 10, but it's still going to be you. That makes that decision. And you might not think you're worth it. I don't care.
0 (1h 45m 7s):
1 (1h 45m 9s):
You give yourself a time. You're working at a hundred percent of being you. You'll be brilliant. You stay at a seven. You'll be working at this level of 70% of you. You'll never find out your true worth. So why don't you join in now and become a 10 try on let's stay there.
0 (1h 45m 30s):
Amazing, amazing Steven for people who have been listening and are wanting to know how they can train with you, how they can learn more about you. Where's the best place for them to start.
1 (1h 45m 47s):
It will be all paying to go.com. I always get this wrong. Forget the whole bendigo.com. So it's number two. And then eventually there will be old fat to go and old stuff to let go, but still based on my principles. So it's always the same. It's always allowing the unconscious to see how you are at the moment, how you want to be and how it can help again. And just people letting go.
0 (1h 46m 23s):
And how can a person get their hands on those transcripts you spoke about earlier,
1 (1h 46m 28s):
Right? That will be part of old stuff to let go. It will only be available to those people who think that they're already trained and anxiety. I'm not giving a definitive list and saying, show me your qualifications. I think you'll be wasting your money. If you don't have a background in this. And then you're probably okay, because he won't be explained the, the basic principles of lots of the things that I've drawn from, but neither will. I this'll be the golden nuggets for people who are already doing it. Who think, how can I work more efficiently? How could it work quicker? How can I help people in one session if that's what you want to do?
1 (1h 47m 9s):
Cause that's what Paul is doing. Unless you usually three to three to four. And I was always saying on average,
0 (1h 47m 17s):
And you do a lot of that work over zoom, those trainings over zoom.
1 (1h 47m 20s):
Yeah. It doesn't matter to me either way. The only thing people have is this idea that, so what are you going to Abrie at the other end of the zoom camera. I've never ever had it. I've worked on thousands of people. And if anybody does have a reaction, then I've got a few people have reactions in front of me. If you do just the same over the zone, which is you can say, Oh, you can, pre-warn them. If you start to shake or do something, you just letting go what you want to let go off. So enjoy it. Yes. It will fail out to control and you'll feel a bit frightened, but you're letting go.
1 (1h 48m 5s):
So in a few minutes you won't have it anymore. So I don't want you to go into fear and keep trapped in there by locking yourself or just allow it, allow it to leave you and I'll get to the other end. And I'm watching.
0 (1h 48m 21s):
I know you say
1 (1h 48m 25s):
There is no difference. You see your lighting. There is beautiful. I can see your face and everything else. Occasionally the only differences we get clients with a window behind the muscle, or you can see from here up, yeah. The darkness comes into the face because the window overtakes the light setting. And it just makes sense. And only say is, can you just come around to Rica? Yeah. Yeah. If you can see people, you can observe because everything I do is about subtle observation of them, but I can't tell you what I've noticed. I'm not noticing it. The level of consciousness I'm just noticing when somebody tells me sort of thing is bad or to author throwback to say four, I might probably recognize it on the lectures on the, I don't know it doesn't work, but, but this is the whole thing you see.
1 (1h 49m 17s):
I'm not in depression to mind read or do anything. I'm just listening to somebody I'm absorbed in the story. I'm trying to find out why it's bringing back. It's just the program and they're just going to have to let go of it. And I'm just going to find what the best thing is to let go of it. We've we tend to make things too complicated. And also we keep going on these training courses that don't make us more confident making it more complicated because now which one of these 15 things shall I use everything I've done. It it's a bit like Bruce Lee learning the martial arts.
1 (1h 49m 59s):
And then he merged them. He picked all the best bits and said, Oh, I can do a shortcut there. And I can do everything. You learn, just pull it together because it's the same principle. It's got to be the same principle, but have reasoning. Yes. But I also applies to your life. You can love an everyday thing each and every day you learn something new and I've lost count of the amount of times this client school. And I've run out of things. And I'm like, what do I do next? And then I think I saw that video yesterday about all the, you know, the postman came yesterday and he was late and this happened and I go, and I tell them our story and suddenly we're back on again.
1 (1h 50m 46s):
Have you ever seen, and that's happened so often and it's never been two days before. It's always been the day before. Amazing,
0 (1h 50m 55s):
Amazing. So if the person listening to this, this audio right now was, was right before you and to the person listening. I'm talking about you. I want you to imagine that you're here, that Steven is looking you in the eye. What would you say to this person to help them take action? Now
1 (1h 51m 15s):
You don't have to be perfect. Just do it and think about the other person. Because if you don't treat somebody else, because you're too worried about you really let that person now just get out there and do it is so joyous. Helping other people there's barely a day goes by without me crying in joy. And when I do have my days of self doubt and we all have them, I'll have a day or two of it. And then I go in my group where all my practitioners go and they tell some fabulous stories of what they've done.
1 (1h 51m 56s):
And I stopped to think their resolve, all this doesn't work. It can't work. Why am I teaching it all? Nobody could work this. And I go to the group and I read 15 stories of what they do. Like this does work and everybody else can do. It's an icon as well, but they yourself don't try to be anybody else. Don't think you have to do a certain style. There was style that you feel comfortable with. Perfection never makes anything. And then there's a good saying. That is like, if, if I've got some work and I want truly to approve of thing, if it's just a note of an idea and I pass it to her, she'll be correcting whether as a calmer in the right place and not whatever, got a capital letter.
1 (1h 52m 41s):
I don't want, I don't need that feedback. So I can say to her, this is 10%. Don't you think to it? And I'll get the right feedback. Or I can say this is 99% dome and she'll grab the covers, the spelling and everything else. Probably not read it. Just looking for those things. Yes. Keep proofreading itself though. It's gotta be perfect. There enough is good enough. If it helps the client. It's good enough. Just look at a solution for them. That's all just focus on that. Find the solution to it, send them out the door, hook them plenty of times on the way.
1 (1h 53m 25s):
Let me skip down the road.
0 (1h 53m 28s):
I love it. Thank you so much. This, this has been so amazing and I'm so grateful that I had the sense to ask you to be the first person that I interviewed, because this has been just absolutely brilliant. Stephen, you have really just blessed me by, by being here with me for the last hour and a half. Thank you.
1 (1h 53m 48s):
And I really appreciate this opportunity that you gave me.
0 (1h 53m 52s):
I'm so grateful. You've listened all the way to the end. What is one tiny action step you'll take now based on an aha moment you got during the podcast, maybe that life changing action step is to come accept the gift I have for [email protected] Head there right now to get your powerful, hypnosis audio, the answer room that lets you make important decisions and get crystal clear about your next step forward on this path of purpose in your one. Great and precious life.