Links from this episode
The Answer Room Audio: http://theimpostermonster.com/
Lance's Instagram and Twitter: @lancementalist
Learn more about Lance: www.lancesinclair.com
Freddy Jacquin (Lance mentioned him when speaking of physical healing): https://www.trancypants.com/FreddyJacquin
If you were haunted and harassed by your own inner critic, if you've ever been curious about why hypnosis works so well, if you're a seasoned hypnotist, or if you suspect that the inner critic is actually hypnotizing you to hold back from reaching the greatness that you know, deep down is inside you, lean in and get inspired to get out of your comfort zone and create your one precious life with purpose and intention. If you like this show, you'll love my powerful hypnosis audio, the answer room, because it gives you crystal clear guidance and direction and illuminates an ingenious way to make triumphant decisions.
No matter how stuck you feel or how confused you were. This powerful hypnosis audio is my gift to you. When you go to the imposter monster.com again, that's the imposter monster.com. Don't forget the VA, the imposter monster.com. And yes, I'm done saying it. Thank you. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart for listening. I'm Lori Hammond, and I'm truly grateful for you.
1 (1m 18s):
Lance Sinclair is an entertainer, mentalist and hypnotherapists from New York city for nearly a decade. He's used the latest techniques in NLP and hypnosis to close the gap between where people are and where they want to be. In record time. Lance encourages people to question what they think they know and inspires them to pursue the dreams that they once thought were impossible. He has a gift for showing people how to unveil their inner greatness. In fact, by the end of this conversation, I believe you will have transformed on an identity level as you unveil your own inner greatness in a way that allows you to take action and live a life of purpose and passion.
1 (2m 4s):
Please know that there is some adult language in this episode. So if you have kids around or if strong language rugs, either wrong way, you might want to skip this one or listen later, I would love it. If you would come share your favorite aha moment from this episode on my Facebook page, enjoy this episode with Lance Sinclair, Lance, I am so excited for this conversation. You and I connected a couple of weeks ago. I think we connected originally maybe like eight, 10 months ago, and we've been talking online and I have seen your amazing videos. I am almost intimidated because they are so awesome.
1 (2m 44s):
And you do such a good job of moving people. And for anyone watching and listening, I will put links to all of Lance's stuff below. Anything that we talk about will be in the comments below Lance, will you tell me a little bit, just tell me about yourself, what you do,
2 (3m 0s):
How you, why you do it, anything else you want to share? <inaudible>
3 (3m 7s):
Well, first of all, thank you so much. Thank you for having me on you say you're intimidated, but it is an honor for me to be here, to be a part of this amazing group of, of change work artists, you know, and, and miracle workers, magicians really. That's how I define it because what is magic, if not transforming someone's world through the use of language. And that's what we do, that is what we do, right? Abracadabra means I create as I speak and we are literally changing people's experience of reality through communication. That's what we do as hypnotists. We are the truest forms of magicians. So I'm so happy to be here, to be a part of this amazing group to be invited on here by you.
3 (3m 52s):
It really does mean a lot to me, and I will do my best to, to share as much as much value as possible. Now that question is quite a tricky
2 (4m 3s):
3 (4m 5s):
There's so much that that can be said. I mean, I, I, I don't box myself in and I think that's one of the things that we're going to talk about, right? So I can't say, you know, I'm just, this, I'm just that I'm, I'm a very curious person. And I think that's something that we need. That's a quality that we need. If we plan to succeed and, and generate joy and happiness and change other people's lives, we need to be curious and wonder what if, what if it works out? What if everything goes great, right? What if nothing
2 (4m 38s):
Bad happens? What if
3 (4m 41s):
All these things that I'm telling myself that, well, what if I fail? What if, what if they don't like me? What if they reject me? What if whatever, what if all of that is BS? What if it's just a voice in your head that has no truth to it? Right? So I don't box myself in and we, we are going to talk about that. But if I were to sum up what I'm about and what motivates me and everything that I do ever since five years old, I've been in love with mystery. And by that, I mean the unknown at age five, I started doing magic.
3 (5m 23s):
I was a magician. I started, I learned my first two tricks at age five. I kept doing that until I was 11 years old, 11 years old, I stopped magic. I transitioned at a very early age. That's like really crazy early the transition at 11 years old to transition from that, to what we call mentalism, which is we can call it, we can refer to it as magic of the mind. And that is all about reading people, influencing people, predicting human behavior, that kind of thing at a really early age, this was
4 (5m 59s):
In, I think it was towards the end of middle school or something like that. I was reading books like what every body is saying by ex FBI, interrogator, Joe Navarro,
5 (6m 12s):
You know, and I would, I would literally sit in the
4 (6m 14s):
Train reading about reading people. And then I would just people analyze, you know, and people watch. And that was my thing. I I've always been obsessed with how the mind works, why we do the things that we do and now why we don't do the things that we
5 (6m 34s):
No we should be doing. Right. Which we will be talking about.
4 (6m 41s):
But yeah, I, I just, I made this transition. What made me do that switch was a very powerful question. And that is why I literally, I came back from, I came back home from a show. I know very young doing shows what? I asked myself, the question, why, why am I doing this? I came home after a performance one night and it went well, it was great. And it was all, you know, tips only. And I came home with $300 that night, and that was pretty cool, but I felt empty.
4 (7m 22s):
And that was not cool. I felt empty. I felt like there was no, no meaning, no depth behind what I was doing. I felt like I was a joker, you know, the, the entertainer,
5 (7m 45s):
4 (7m 49s):
And like, I was not giving anything. Like people were not taking anything away. It was just look at me and what I can do that you can't. And I didn't feel good about that. So that night I sat down and I put a piece of paper, a blank sheet of paper in front of me, and I grabbed the pen and I sat there for 30 minutes, redundant, big gigantic Y, and a question Mark at the top of the page. And I just sat in deep thought, asking myself why, why this, why my life, what's the point of it? What do I want to make my story about?
4 (8m 29s):
And is what I'm doing in alignment with that. And it was a really, really crazy exercise. And I came to the conclusion that what matters to me is not the attention or the praise or anything like that is what are people walking away with? And the reason why I was not happy is because they were away empty. I was not giving them anything. Yes, they were laughing. Yes, they were having a good time. But then what, when they're home very quickly, they forget the experience, you know?
4 (9m 9s):
And so I had seen some things about mentalism and I seen Derren Brown, and I'm like, there's something there, there's something. And it's kind of like, it's similar, it's, it's mysterious and all this, but there's something there it's like about our behavior and, and our, our dreams and all this stuff. And I need to look into this, I need to look into this. And I thought, I'm going to follow this, this focus, this motivator, which is, here's what I came up with. I want to inspire people to be their best, to live the best life they can.
4 (9m 53s):
I went to humble people to show them in some way that we don't know everything there is to know. And that that is okay. And we're going to come back to that thought, go ahead.
5 (10m 3s):
And number three and number, because I saw there was a little light bulb in your head that went off there and numbers.
4 (10m 12s):
So that is inspire humble. Number three is astonish a sense of childlike wonder curiosity, if you will. Oh, that's interesting. You know, and we're also going to come back to that thought. So yeah, those are my three whys inspire astonished and humble. And I thought to myself, well, I think mentalism is a wonderful thing for this. It is perfect because if I show someone something, they cannot explain. If I divine a thought in their mind that is completely private, or maybe their first kiss, something, no one put them knows, and you've seen videos of me doing this kind of stuff.
4 (10m 54s):
So it's amazing. Yeah. And so people respond with this feeling of astonishment, this, this sense of wonder and awe, and that is already one of the things ticked off the box, right? But number two, which is a lot more subtle is when we experience something mysterious, something we don't understand. It humbles us. And this reminds me of an Asian proverb, which over time I have morphed and changed
5 (11m 23s):
And made my own. So I'm going to repeat it here and
4 (11m 28s):
Not sign exactly how you may have heard it in the past. But this is how I tell it. There is a teacher and a student it's a hot summer day and they're outside. They're in the balcony. You know what I'm talking about, monk and apprentice, they're wearing the, the big rogues and all that. It's very, very hot. And the teacher tells a student, would you like some tea? And he goes, yes, teacher, thank you. He goes back into the kitchen and returns with a cup of tea. He gives it to the, to the, the student.
4 (12m 11s):
And then he goes back into the kitchen. He's gone for five minutes. He's gone for 10 minutes. As soon as starts wondering where's where's the teacher, 15 minutes later, he returns with a big jar of water with ice cubes inside condensation on the outside. You hear the claiming of the ice cubes inside of the glass and his big glass in his other hand. And he's walking with his jar and glass. And then he serves himself. You get a year, the ice clinging inside of the cup, and then he just stands there and drinks his ice cold water. Yeah. It's really hot.
4 (12m 50s):
Summer day to the water just hits the spot. Right? And then he looks over at the student and he, yes. Would you like some water? And without a second of hesitation, the student goes against, please, your please I'd love some water. It's much better than this tea I'm having. And so the teacher walks over with the jar of ice, cold water, and he just starts pouring it inside of this cup of tea. On top of the teacher starts pouring it in everything overflows, and it spills over his robe. And the students just like, what are you doing? Like, that's something you don't ask, right?
4 (13m 33s):
What are you doing? Are you crazy? Right? And then the teacher, the master and mentor, he stops. And he says, before you fill yourself up, you must first empty yourself out. Before you receive any wisdom, you must first empty yourself of the idea that, you know, all there is to know what a powerful realization. Right. And I, I constantly go back to that. And so I truly believe that the only way that we're going to grow and evolve as a society, as a people, as a, as a race, the human race is if we realize there's room for growth, if somebody thinks they know all there is to know, they're not going to read any books, they're not going to explore and try new things because they're boxing themselves in limiting themselves.
4 (14m 37s):
Right? And so the only time that we can actually begin to learn and grow and become better is when we realize that there is no such thing as perfection. There's no such thing as I've arrived. We never, you know, when you arrive, you arrive when you're dead, that's when you've arrived. There's no such thing. And so I, I can't constantly go back to that story. And I think it perfectly illustrates that humility is a very important virtue without humility. We can not grow without humidity. We cannot learn. We cannot know we cannot have innovation and new scientific discoveries.
4 (15m 21s):
We cannot because what is a scientist, if not someone that is curious, you know, I wonder what, what makes things fall towards the ground when you drop them? Right. Right. That's all it is. And so I think we should be scientists in our life. We should be explorers. We should be children constantly asking what if, how why? Right. And so that takes off that box because the moment someone experiences something, they don't understand. It humbles them because they realize they don't know everything there is to know. And then number three, to inspire, to show people that anything is possible.
4 (16m 4s):
The moment you witnessed something that should not happen. The moment you experienced something that is not in line with your map of reality, right? We talk in NLP about the map and the territory, the territory being symbolic of reality, objective reality, the map being your blueprint of that, your interpretation of that, what you see as possible within that. And we see that the map is not the territory. And so when you show someone that their map is broken, or there's a missing piece to their map that they never saw before, it's, it's crazy. It's so powerful because now when you show them, Hey, what you thought was impossible just happened.
4 (16m 52s):
It implants this idea of perhaps what you've been telling yourself that can't be done, that you can't do is a possibility. Maybe you can do it. Maybe the people that have told you that you can not, and that this is only a dream, that it is impossible that no one has ever done this thing that you dream of doing. Maybe they're lying. Maybe that's the illusion. What if, what if
2 (17m 24s):
Right. And so I
4 (17m 26s):
Found the perfect, the perfect blend in, in mentalism from that naturally, as you can imagine, I went into hypnosis and most specifically street hypnosis, which for those that don't know, it's just hypnosis for the sake of entertainment, giving people a Nisha, catalepsy having them hallucinate things. The other day, I had a guy Navy seal,
3 (17m 50s):
By the way, we're trained to have a strong mind. I had him hallucinate, a living, moving snake in his bedroom through virtual. So again, we're going to talk about why these things are possible, but like that, that was, that was my thing. And I still do it from time to time. But, you know, I went from mentalism to street hypnosis all this crazy hypnotic phenomena, but then again, it was like, all right, how can I take that thinking? And in mentalism and, and these three objectives and take my understanding of the mind and all of this and merge it together into a beautiful gift that I can give to people.
3 (18m 31s):
And it was just a natural transition from there to go and take them to therapy, you know, and, and, and NLP. So yeah, now what I do is hypnotherapy and mentalism, and in my mentalism shows live and virtual is now, I started doing virtual mind, reading shows. I incorporate NLP protocols. I incorporate hypnosis, conversational hypnosis, and people don't know, but I'm changing their life through metaphor. And the things that I'm doing are metaphor metaphors. I am sure you remember, I did something in the video that you watched with a car that I was thinking, right.
3 (19m 11s):
And the person that I was performing for virtually, she found my card. She found the car that I was thinking. And the message was one of, if you listen to your intuition, miracles happen, right. And before I showed her that the card I had in mind was exactly the one that she stopped me on. I said, if this is the card, I'd like you to make a promise to yourself. And that is that from now on, you will trust in your intuition, safe in the knowledge that it will always guide you down the right path. You know, she made that promise to herself.
3 (19m 51s):
Then I showed her the card and it was exactly the same that she, she had a thought, you know, so it's not even about me anymore. It's not about me reading her mind. It's about her reading mine. And that's far more interesting to me. And then on top of that, now she's walking away. Having made a promise to herself that she's going to trust herself and her inner voice. And that is really important because I truly believe that we listened to other people's voices so much that we can no longer hear our own. The volume is turned down so low. We cannot hear it. And the voices we hear in our heads of you can't do it.
3 (20m 32s):
You're not good enough. You're not ready if you really listen. They're not your voice. Yes. They're not your voice. There's somebody there, the echo of someone else's voice, someone else's limiting beliefs.
4 (20m 49s):
3 (20m 50s):
Maybe your parents, maybe your, your guardian, whoever raised you, your siblings, your cousins, your friends, the media,
4 (20m 59s):
Right? Yes. And it might be an
3 (21m 3s):
Thing like someone literally told you you're not good enough, or maybe very subtle, right? Like social media, for example, you, if you are constantly exposed to a lifestyle, completely different to yours, seeing accounts,
4 (21m 19s):
People that have more than you do that,
3 (21m 22s):
I've really luxurious cars. That dress a certain way. That look a certain way eventually. What is that going to do to your subconscious? It's going to make you feel inferior. It's going to make you feel,
4 (21m 34s):
You're not doing the right thing. You're not living life the right way. Like, you're not doing enough. You don't have enough. You are not enough. And so we have to realize that the voices in our head that steer us away from the life that we want are not her own. And we're gonna come back to that later as well. But yeah.
3 (22m 1s):
Yeah, basically, that's, that's, that's my story. So now that's where I find myself and it's been amazing. Honestly. It's been amazing merging everything together with, with the sole purpose of helping people and making the world a better place. I once heard someone, someone say
4 (22m 20s):
Hypnotist. He said, you know, if we all talk about world peace, we want world peace. Everybody wants world peace. But in order for you to have world peace, everyone must first have inner peace.
3 (22m 40s):
Two person must feel at peace before we have world peace.
4 (22m 44s):
Right? And how do we do that? We do that through the work that we do, right, by getting people to see the gifts that is like,
3 (22m 56s):
Oh, that is beautiful in their life. Or that there is to be grateful for, to get rid of their limiting beliefs and fears and anxieties and
4 (23m 5s):
Trauma. This is it,
3 (23m 8s):
Right? So you don't dwell on the past or dwell on an imagined future. In this chronic worrying, we call anxiety and this loop of worst case scenarios where you just present and you're happy where you are while going after the things that you would
4 (23m 23s):
Want, right. That's how you get world peace. And so I, I,
3 (23m 29s):
I wanted to bring that up because I think it's such a beautiful sentiment.
4 (23m 33s):
3 (23m 34s):
To every single person. You competent come into contact with find a way to give that to people, to get them closer to that feeling. And eventually I believe we will have world peace. You know, at least in our own little worlds.
1 (23m 49s):
What would you say to a person who who's nodding their head? Who realizes you're speaking? I mean, I, you have inspired the heck out of me already. I'm so excited, but what would you say to someone who's putting their happiness on hold? Who's putting their piece on hold saying, I'll be happy when I lose 20 pounds. I'll feel peaceful when my daughter gets into that college, whatever it is, what would you say to that person?
3 (24m 16s):
Happiness is something we have to define. And I would start there. I would say we have lost sight of what happiness truly is. And in our headiness stick lifestyle, we fool ourselves into thinking that happiness is acquiring something that happiness is when I have that new car. When I have that new phone, when I have that new house and true happiness is contentment, true. Happiness is being okay, regardless of where you are, what you have or who you are regardless of the size of your bank account.
3 (24m 60s):
And I would ask that person to look at video and look at photos of people who have nothing who are literally starving in countries in Africa, for example, and look at big CEOs and how miserable they are, and then ask yourself if this is the case, then is happiness in materialistic things. What do these people have that the rich CEO doesn't well, chances are that person is not focusing enough on spending time with their family because they're too busy chasing after more money, right?
3 (25m 40s):
Chances are, they're not very present because they're focusing so much on what they're going to do next. What's their next move to stay on top. And so what I would say is, remember that happiness is not something you get. Happiness is not something you buy. Happiness is not something you arrive at. Happiness is something you are, it is a state of being, and you can choose to be happy. Now, if you want to be happy, now you can choose to do that. And the way you choose to do that is by focusing on what brings you joy.
3 (26m 20s):
What makes you happy? What makes you happy? You know, we know in NLP that we are distorting our reality through deletion distortion and generalization, deletion is literally when we elicit amnesia in ourselves, when someone's depressed, they go, everything's terrible in my life. It's so bad.
4 (26m 45s):
Right? Nothing goes right. All I do goes to shit. Right? It's all dark and gloomy, right? It's yeah. Self-hypnosis that's right. And so, you know, if we were to follow the meta-model, we would ask everyone, are you sure nobody loves you? Are you sure? Right. And we start to challenge that thought, right? Because the fact is we deceive ourselves. It's something that we do naturally. And, you know, deletion, generalization, and distortion. These are not bad things necessarily they're neutral. We can delete the bad things in our life. But the issue is when we delete the good ones, right?
4 (27m 28s):
Yes. And when we tell ourselves I can, how can I be happy? When so much is bad, right? Well, when everything's going wrong or whatever, we are deleting the beautiful, wonderful, happiness inducing things in our life. Right? And so what can we do? We can choose to focus on what is good, right. Be aware of what are we distorting, right? Distortion is literally making things up. What are you making up? Or you're making up that your life sucks. You're making up that nobody loves you. You're making up all these limiting beliefs.
4 (28m 10s):
You're taking one experience of a failure and generalizing that onto everything else and saying, look, my life is terrible because it's one person didn't love me enough or whatever. Right. Right. Nobody loves me. One, one breakup. And no one, he loves you. Is that true? No, that's not true. And so we can choose to focus on all that is good to remind yourself of the things that perhaps we've been deleting from our consciousness to stop and smell the roses. As cliche as that sounds to be present, to savor the moment. The thing is when you stop, and if this resonates with anyone, please read the power of now by Eckhart Tolle.
4 (28m 55s):
When you just stop and notice that everything's okay right now that your anxiety and your fears and sadness and guilt and anger comes from dwelling in the past, or dwelling on the feature, which by the way, don't exist, the past is gone. The future is something you hope is coming, but you can't even guarantee. Right? We imagine it. We prepare for it. We plan for it, but it is not promised. All we have is now, all we have is this moment.
4 (29m 40s):
And there's something I mentioned in my latest podcast episode. And the, the reason why people feel really bad and why we're not present is because we think the next moment is going to be more important than this one. And if we constantly tell us, I'll be happy when I'll be happy later, I'll be happy. If right, we're, we're putting conditions on our happiness. We putting conditions on, on our feeling good and being present. We can just stop close your eyes, put your hand on your chest.
4 (30m 20s):
If you want to do this right now, you're listening to get deep breath in, let it out and feel your heart beating. Feel your breath, feel the life inside. You feel the gifts that is being alive and realize that right now, everything is fine right now. Everything is okay right now, you are loved.
4 (31m 1s):
And when you get in touch with that feeling, you find your anxiety and your fears and your worries melt away. Because the times that we feel anxious, the times that we feel unhappy is when we are focusing on what we cannot control, we're focusing on what we don't have yet when we lose sight and touch with the present moment. And so what I would tell that person is realize that you don't get happiness. You don't arrive at happiness. Happiness is in you. You just have to find it, unleash it, expose it, unveil it, look inside, and you will feel it.
4 (31m 49s):
Everything you need, everything you want is inside of you. And that is that.
1 (31m 56s):
Thank you so much. And don't you feel that sometimes or most, all the time, we condition ourselves to feel a certain way where we're recycling emotions from the past with such repetition that we think it's really us and we can do the exact same thing. We can reverse engineer that process by conditioning, our conditioning ourselves for happiness. I know, I know for me, it's just been a reminding, like you're allowed to feel good. Yeah. You're not sure what's going to happen later in this situation, but you're allowed to feel good right now. And that puts us in such a more resourceful place to find ways around our so-called obstacles and experience and joy and condition ourselves for that.
4 (32m 38s):
Absolutely. It is a habit,
3 (32m 40s):
Right? The habit is something that you do over and over and over again, that then becomes automatic. Right? I like everyone that's listening that drives a car to think back to the first day you drove a car.
5 (32m 51s):
How overwhelming that was like, okay,
3 (32m 54s):
I'd have to think of my feet. Okay. There's the, the, the, the steering wheel and the, the mirrors and, Oh, there's somebody next to me. Oh my God.
5 (33m 3s):
Yeah. It's like, goodness, like it's much. Right.
3 (33m 8s):
And what happens? You do it again. And you do it again and again. And you get the hang of it. And all these things become automatic without thinking, right? Like if you are a hypnotist at the beginning, you had to really think about the words that you were saying and how you were structuring things. And the more you do that, there's a point where you just, you just do, you just hypnotize it. You don't even know how you're doing it. You just do it.
5 (33m 35s):
You know, you can't even teach it because it's so deep
3 (33m 39s):
Ingrained in you. That it's become what we call unconscious competence, right. Your autopilot now. And so that's when you truly know something
5 (33m 51s):
And that's what happens with driving.
3 (33m 52s):
And, you know, you can become unconsciously competent at being anxious.
5 (33m 59s):
And that is not a good thing. That is not a good thing, you know? And that happens
3 (34m 4s):
When we, like you said, make a habit of putting herself in these, in these States of mind and thinking in these limiting ways. And yes, we can rewire that. We can change that. A simple thing that you can do, which by the way, is being used right now, for people that are deeply troubled by anxiety that are hospitalized. Even, this is what is what you do. Take a sheet of paper, write down all the things that trigger anxiety in you. When you're not feeling anxious, write down things. I feel anxious when X, right?
3 (34m 44s):
So for example, I feel anxious when I'm about to speak in front of an audience, right? So there's your trigger. And then there's the anxiety, right? That for everything that induces anxiety in you, you want to do this when you're not feeling anxious. So you can think rationally about it, right. When you're in that state, you can't think
5 (35m 7s):
We know that. So
3 (35m 8s):
Do that make lists for all those things that make you anxious and then rewrite that, rephrase it, reword it, use your neurology to your advantage. The fact is there is no chemical difference between anxiety and nerves and excitement. So what if you use that to literally, and I use this word loosely, fool yourself into feeling good. The fact is you're D hypnotizing yourself have been fooling yourself into feeling bad.
5 (35m 46s):
So what, if you go ahead
3 (35m 48s):
Ahead and you take each and every one of those things, and you write down the opposite and instead of using the word nervous or anxious, you use the word excited. So instead of saying, I feel anxious about speaking in public below that you write, I am excited about sharing my message. Instead of writing, I feel anxious about speaking to strangers. You can say, I am excited about making connections. I'm excited about learning from other people. I'm excited about discovering things about this person that might benefit me.
3 (36m 32s):
That might help me in my own life. Right? A lot of people, a lot of men specifically come to me with things like approaching anxiety, like, Oh, I get nervous talking to women. Right? And it happens the other way around too. Right? You see someone attractive and you're like, Oh, if I walk over, they're going to think I'm a fool. And then, then what happens? Right? Your amygdala releases, all these chemicals, cortisol, adrenaline, your heart beats faster. You start sweating, you get a knot in your throat. You can't speak anymore. Same thing that happens when you're about to speak in front of an audience or a camera. Right? Right. And then you don't do it. You don't do it because you, you you've played this movie in your head about you walking over and it going miserably then spitting on your face,
5 (37m 18s):
Cursing you out. Right. And by that
3 (37m 21s):
Point, you've elicited all these CA you produce all these chemicals because of the thoughts that you've had and the words you told yourself. But at this point, it's like, you're done, that's it? You lost. Right. So what if, before you even experienced that you tell yourself I'm excited to meet new people. I'm excited at the possibility of developing a new relationship or a new friendship, who knows if this person and you are going to be best friends, who knows, if it's going to develop into a great business relationship or romantic relationship, who knows if one person in that audience is life is going to be changed forever because of one sentence that you said, who knows.
3 (38m 9s):
And that is again, what if, what if all goes great? What if it works out? What if nothing bad happens? And so what what's happening when you reframe it with excitement is you're allowing yourself the room to think in different ways. You're becoming curious about what can go, right? You're giving yourself the space and the opportunity, think in a way that you have not thought of before, right? You're, you're expanding your map of the world that is more accurate in representing the territory.
3 (38m 48s):
Right? So yeah, do that. And I promise you if you're listening and you implement, because wisdom is not knowledge, wisdom is applied knowledge. If you do this, you will no longer feel anxious about those things, because you would have, you would have effectively re wired your brain. You would have reframed the way you, you look at that experience. And so whenever that thing comes up, you go five, four, three, two, one. I'm excited to give this public speech because you know what? I may change somebody's life today. Yep.
3 (39m 29s):
And when you remember that, it all melts away. All the nerves vanish, all the anxiety, gone, the fear of what people think of you, who cares because ultimately you're in a frame of service. And when you focus on that, everything else takes care of itself.
1 (39m 50s):
And that goes back to your why that you wrote down. I wanted to ask you, I'm at, remind me how old you were when you did that. And when you finished it, is that when you came up with those three points or did those kind of morphed over time?
3 (40m 5s):
It was right then and there I was 11 years old. Oh my gosh.
1 (40m 11s):
Power in having such a clear like life manifesto at such an early age, would you tell me like, this is just for me and anyone else who's interested. Maybe give us some guidelines or some techniques for doing the same for ourselves, for uncovering that sense of purpose. So, you know, it's almost seems to me like a litmus test where if you're trying to make a business decision, you say, well, does it line up with my, why? Tell me your thoughts on that.
3 (40m 43s):
Yeah. So I did plan and talking about this. So I will talk about it a little more later, but what I would say is, I honestly can't remember exactly where, what was my train of thought? When I came up with this, it just felt right. But what I would say now is think about your values. You know, in NLP, we talk about value elicitation. What do you value? What is important to you? The fact is that us humans, everything that we do, we do in the pursuit of pleasure and the avoidance of pain, we do it to satisfy our human needs. You know, people come to us and they say things like Lance motivate me.
3 (41m 26s):
I lack motivation, Laurie. I lack motivation. Give me motivation. And the fact is you can't do that. And the reason why you can't do that is because they don't lack motivation. Motivation is not something that they lack. It's just that they have misplaced it. So someone goes, Oh, I lack motivation to exercise. What I ask is, well, what are you doing? Instead? They go, well, I'm sitting in the couch watching TV and Netflix and scrolling through my phone. And I go, all right, do you lack motivation to do that? Like, no, you're perfectly motivated to be a couch potato.
3 (42m 10s):
You don't lack motivation. You have misplaced motivation. Why? Because you've associated pleasure with that and pain with the thing that, you know, you should be doing instead. And so we do the things that we associate pleasure with and we avoid the things we associate pain with. So what is our job as hypnotist? Not just with other people, but to ourselves. It is to switch that around. So that now we associate pleasure with in this case, exercising and pain with not doing anything. For example, if you do the fork in the road, right, for someone that's quitting smoking, you have them think about the longterm effects of this unwanted habit, and then all the amazing benefits and how good they're going to feel, how proud they're going to feel, how happy the smile on the faces of the people that love them, how happy they are that they get to spend more years with this person, because they're not chipping away at their life with cigarettes, right?
3 (43m 9s):
You get them to project into the future, down these two paths over the course of one year, five years, 10 years, and feel whole the bad feelings of going down this path and feel all the good feelings of going down that path. And now they become aware. They gain this clarity of, Oh, snap, this thing that's giving me, short-term pleasure brings me long-term pain. And the things that bring me short-term pain, give me long-term pleasure, like exercising, for example. And so it's about switching these things around because ultimately we, that's how we do things.
3 (43m 49s):
That's how our behaviors work. You know, we do the things that satisfy our needs and the things that bring us pleasure. And we avoid the things that don't bring us pleasure, that elicit pain. And so it's about reframing that. And so what I would say is ask yourself, what brings you joy? What do you value? What's important to you? If you could, if you could do anything in the world and not get paid for it, what would that be? Right? And when you get in touch with that and you realize, wow, you know what? I get a lot of satisfaction, helping people. I get a lot of joy and pleasure hearing someone say that I changed your life.
3 (44m 32s):
Then that's your calling, you know? And ultimately that's what you want to be doing. You want to be doing something that you can monetize as course, because you know, life, you need to eat. But that in the meantime you enjoy, because in any endeavor in any business, it's going to get hard at times. It won't always be smooth, sailing and easy. You know, if you're a business owner, you know this to be true. There's a lot of learning. There's a lot of growing. There's a lot of trial and error. That's the fun in it. You know? And so, I mean, that's what I tell myself. I wonder, right? What are we telling ourselves?
3 (45m 13s):
What are you telling yourself? But I think it's fun. I think it's interesting because every time you make a mistake, every time something doesn't work out as planned, you learn, you learn that that's probably something you shouldn't be doing next time. Maybe you should do things differently. So look at it like that. This is fun. It's a learning experience. Oh, I'm curious. Right? What's going to happen next. So it's going to get tough no matter what. And I rather it get tough for you. If you're doing something that you love, then if you're doing something that you hate or have no passion for it, because if you're doing something for money that you don't love, that you don't enjoy and it gets hard.
3 (45m 53s):
How easy do you think it is for you to give up toss the towel and then just say, screw it. I'm done with this. Very easy, very easy. But it is because you love the thing that you do. And in the process, you get paid for it that you can wake up each morning and remember your purpose. Remember that video testimonial, someone sent you like, wow, you know what? That's why I do it. That's why even if you know, there's been a rough patch and you haven't worked in two weeks or three weeks, you remember all the good feelings, all the lives, you change all the amazing things and why you love this so much.
3 (46m 37s):
And that gives you the strength to keep pushing. So ask yourself what brings you joy? What do you value and make sure that you're acting in alignment with those values and that what you're pursuing is in alignment with that, you know,
1 (46m 53s):
What would you say to a person who feels some kind of conflict about exchanging these gifts about saying, okay, I'm going to help you with this problem. And you're going to compensate with, compensate me with a monetary.
3 (47m 14s):
Hmm. Yeah. Doing what they love for money. Yeah. That's always a, it's always a tough, tough thing, especially for artists, you know, because you don't do art for money. You, it, for the sake of art, you do it because you went to express yourself. Right. And we do this because we want to help people. Not because we want to be rich and, and you know, but what if you could,
6 (47m 43s):
Could do both. That is my question.
3 (47m 48s):
If you could do both, what have you could lean into? Not just like saying art, for example, and I'm in showbiz. So what, it's not just show, right? It's show biz, right? There's bays and there's show what if you could take advantage of both and, and, and develop both. And naturally the artist is not a business person, but you know, think about all the things that you thought you were not good at. And that eventually you learn, this is something that you can develop, that you can learn. You can learn how to market yourself. You can learn how to sell yourself. You can be the, the agent of change or the artists, and simultaneously be the business woman or businessmen.
3 (48m 31s):
And what I would say to that is this sales is about service. It is about giving. It is a transfer of enthusiasm. If you're doing something and it really comes down to this, if you're doing something that can help somebody else, it is your duty to share that with them. Yes. You must share with them, the confidence behind that is not about I'm better than everyone else, or I'm better than you.
3 (49m 10s):
Or, you know, you're, you're below me. This is why I'm giving you this thing. Cause you need my help. No, no, no. It's I have something that's going to solve your problem. That should be your focus. And if you believe in what you have to offer, that's going to come through in, in your communication and your sub communication. It's going to come through your turnout. You can say things like you won't know why or how, but by the end of this conversation, I'm going to exercise your imposter monster.
6 (49m 44s):
You know, I love that. You know what I mean?
3 (49m 46s):
You can say that. And I believe that to be true, not just because I'm pulling it out of my, you know,
6 (49m 51s):
The ether, but
3 (49m 54s):
Because I know I can do this and I know how to do it, and I'm going to do it. You know? And if you know what you're capable of, you know, that what you have is valuable, don't be afraid to ask for what it's worth, you know, when it comes to value elicitation. And normally the way that I work is I book a consultation, a free consultation call first. Then if they say yes to the session, then we book the session. I can tell you that I close pretty much every call every call. I'm not surprised. And it's, it's really interesting because of how simple it is.
3 (50m 43s):
The only times that I haven't closed is because the person says they can't afford it. And for that, I have a solution because my, my focus is not making money only, but it's helping people. And this is why on my website, I have three tiers. I have prerecorded hypnosis. Audio is I have custom made hypnosis audience, which is, you know, we do a consultation and then I record an audio and that's what they get. And the last one, which is of course the most expensive is a one-on-one session, right? So if the person can, cannot afford the session and they have these two other tiers below that, so I can still give them help.
3 (51m 23s):
But I close an incredible percentage of the consultation calls because I focus on value elicitation before I start selling. I need to understand what's important to them. And what I'm about to say right now, it's like, it's worth a lot of money. So pay attention and take notes. Okay. When someone comes to you with a problem, like I need motivation to do work, you know, to do, do what I have to do for work.
3 (52m 3s):
Like I'm not, I feel like I'm not ready. They say, I feel like I'm not ready. And I continue studying more and learning more because I feel like I'm not good enough. Like I'm not prepared. And so I want to feel like I'm prepared and I want the motivation to just get started. Right? Yeah. So what I would ask that person, that client is, what would that do for you? If you had the motivation, if you got things done, maybe took action because you knew that you were ready. If you started, what would that do for you? And let's say they go, it would make me feel, or how would that make you feel?
3 (52m 47s):
That's another way you can question it. And they would say it would make me feel satisfied. It would make me feel proud. Okay. How would it make you feel proud, dig deeper into that, right? And when you feel that pride, how, why is that important? What does that give you? Dig deep into the core value behind what they want. Yeah. And you know, I had a client tell me with same issue.
4 (53m 27s):
She had said this. When I asked her the first question, she said, what would you, I asked, what would that do for you? What would that mean? And she said, I would know that the sacrifice my mom went through to raise me was not in vain. How deep is that? And then I asked deeper and I said, and if you knew that her sacrifice all the love and time and devotion, she put into making you, given you the opportunity to go to college and, and making you who you are today, right?
4 (54m 10s):
Raising you to be the woman you are today. If none of that was in vain and you knew it and she knew it, what would that do for you? And she, of course, she had to imagine it, right? She had to imagine it in order to further process that information. And you could see a shift in her face. She felt the pride. She felt the joy. She felt the love. She felt that connection with her mom. And she said that would make me so happy. That would make me feel so proud. I would feel the love of my mom. And so now I know what matters most to her.
4 (54m 52s):
It is the love between her and her mom. It is that freedom. And so what I want you guys to realize is this, when you go to the pharmacy to buy Tylenol, you're not buying title. You're buying the freedom from the pain, from your headache. When you go to a restaurant and you buy chicken, fettuccine, Alfredo pasta
6 (55m 18s):
With broccoli, and that's, you know, I may or may not love that day. I saw your eyes light up. We were all mind readers. You know, when you order that you're not
4 (55m 35s):
The chicken or the pasta or the broccoli, you're, you're paying for the experience you're paying for the satisfaction you're paying for the nourishment, right? When people come to you for a session, they're not paying for your time, they're not paying for your protocol. They're not paying for hypnosis. They're paying for the thing that they're coming to you for. The core value is not being satisfied that they're not meeting the need that is not being met. And so the reason why me, but it close so often is because then once I know what their core value is, I frame my service through the lens of their core value.
4 (56m 26s):
So I say things like, just imagine how you're going to feel. Are you finished with the session? And you just know that all the work your mom put in, all the sacrifice, love and devotion was not in vain. Yes.
5 (56m 41s):
God damn it. Where do I sign? Right.
4 (56m 45s):
Because that's what matters to her. I closed that one in 30 minutes. Amazing. And that's, that's not bragging for anyone listening. That's you can do the same as what I'm saying. If someone else did it. So can I, that's what I want you to repeat in your mind if someone knows did it. So can I nothing's impossible. If someone else has done something, you can do it too. If someone else hasn't done it, guess what? There's a chance that you can do it as well. There's always a first time, you know, at one point we didn't have cars. At one point, we didn't have airplanes. The idea of this incredibly heavy metal vehicle floating in the air and going from here to there without falling and people dying was beyond us.
4 (57m 36s):
Like even not talking about it, it sounds miraculous, right? But then they came up with a way to do it, you know, so you can figure it out. And what I'm telling you is you can be good at selling yourself. You can be a good business man or business woman. You can make more money. You can sell yourself, but you won't. If you're focusing on the wrong thing, you're not going to succeed. You're not going to sell as well or not, will not send you referrals.
4 (58m 20s):
They will not give you video testimonials. If they feel like your focus is on money, right. And not on changing their life. Right? So as long as we focus on why we're doing it in the first place, everything's fine. Everything's going to be fine. You'll be good. Trust me. Now that brings us back to the thought of do what you love. If you don't love this, if you don't get an immense amount of gratification and pleasure from helping other people achieve what they want, please stop do something else. I'm going to be straight up with you. Do something else. Don't waste your time.
4 (59m 0s):
Don't waste your time. If your heart is somewhere else, go where your heart is. Yes. You can do this, you know, with your family members, with helping yourself change things about yourself, any changing. But if you don't have that devotion, love and passion for it, and this is not for you and that's with anything. I don't care if in saving a therapy or
3 (59m 25s):
Selling cars or whatever, if that's not where your heart is, go where your heart is. Yeah. You know, yes, you can keep doing this. If you're making money, while you figure out what that is. But once you figure it out, go there and do that thing. Follow your heart. And as long as you're serving from a place of love and, and humility and giving and, and all that beautiful, wonderful stuff, you'll be good. You'll be good. And that needs to be communicated in your sales. That's the thing. There shouldn't be any fear about selling. There shouldn't be any resistance to selling because it is our duty.
3 (1h 0m 5s):
All sales is you're conveying to somebody that you have a solution to their problem. People have problems. People have anxiety, people have fears. People have bad habits. People have misplaced, motivation. People have trauma. People have anger issues. We have the solution to all those things, sell it. That's my answer
1 (1h 0m 29s):
So much. Would you quickly model for us how you would transition from this is going to help, you know, that your grandmother's efforts were not in vain and it's going to give you all these amazing things and then transition into talking about price congruently. Because I see so many people start to, you know, we're really bold and we're confident. And then we talk about our theme. It's like we're.
3 (1h 0m 52s):
Yeah. And then you recoil. Yeah. I know exactly what you're talking about because that's how I was at first. So yeah, it's, it's interesting because I did, I did make a note that I did want to talk about my consultation process. Very important. It is very important to mention that when people come to you, a big chunk of the work is already done and taken care of because one, they understand something needs to change to, they understand and needs to change now.
3 (1h 1m 34s):
And three, they understand that what needs to change is them. And that's good, but they may come to you with preconceived notions about what hypnosis is or what it's like to be hypnotized. And it is our job, not just to do the hypnotherapy, but to make sure that people understand what they're getting themselves into and that all these, excuse me, all these beliefs they have about hypnosis are not true. Such as hypnosis is mind control. When you're hypnotized, you're sleeping. When you're in hypnosis, you don't know what's going on around you and you can't hear the hypnotist voice.
3 (1h 2m 19s):
It is our job to make sure that we remove all the resistance before we talk about any of that stuff. So the purpose of my consultation call is twofold. One. I need to understand them. And two, they need to understand me. So step one is me understanding what they're coming to me for what's and what, what are the core values, right? And step two, should I make very clear is I'm going to explain to you what hypnosis is, why it works, how it works and how we can help you.
3 (1h 3m 2s):
That's what they need to know. Right? And the first question, what hypnosis is when I, because I use slides, I share my screen and I use slides and I answered all these questions with slides. And it's like, what is hypnosis? But then I say, you know, a better question is what does hypnosis not? And I go into that and I destroy all those beliefs. And so the reason why this is important, why wanted to bring it up? And I'm so glad that you asked that question is because there is no one you cannot hypnotize. And some listening to this might be startled by that statement.
3 (1h 3m 43s):
And think that is a very bold claim. I'm telling you everyone, you can hypnotize. There's no one, you can't hypnotize. If you cannot hypnotize someone, they already are.
7 (1h 4m 1s):
3 (1h 4m 2s):
They already are. Yes. The reason why your hypnosis is not working is because you have not D hypnotize them from the trends of believing that hypnosis is something that it's not.
7 (1h 4m 16s):
I love that
3 (1h 4m 18s):
Because they expect that they're going to fall
7 (1h 4m 21s):
To the floor and like lose her and dance, like
3 (1h 4m 25s):
Good monkey. They expect that hip hypnotic experiences you versus them instead of a collaborative effort where they are a co hypnotherapist. And so your job is to make sure that that's clear in their mind and you abolish all the bullshit so that then you can create the change. The reason why people have resistance is because of fear of letting go of control and their preconceived notions about hypnosis. And so when you let go of the fear, that's your first job before the session, during the consultation, when you get rid of the fear, when you get rid of the beliefs and the myths that revolve around hypnosis, thanks to Hollywood, thank you, Hollywood.
3 (1h 5m 10s):
Then you're, you're set. Then you, you can begin explaining what hypnosis is, how it works, what it do for them and how it relates back to the core values. Right? So for example, to answer your question specifically, during the slides where I explain how it works, I have this diagram that I made, that this illustrates the conscious and the subconscious and the critical faculty is like a membrane between the two with dashes. And so I talk about how neuroscientists have shown us in improving that we only have conscious control of our behavior, our habits, or emotions, or beliefs or self-talk, or confidence, or self image, 5% conscious control over all those things that make us who we are 5%, five
8 (1h 6m 6s):
3 (1h 6m 9s):
5% of it is controlled by your subconscious mind. This is why somebody comes to you for quitting smoking. And they're like, yeah, I know I should quit. Yeah, I know this is bad for me. And they'd been told a gazillion times that it's destroying their teeth. It's destroying their, their heart and their lungs and their skin and their hair and their nails. And they're probably going to get cancer and probably going to lose their voice and have to use a little device here and their throat with a little hole to speak through. And they're probably going to have a limb amputated. And every cigarette takes away 14 minutes from their life. And they still smoke,
8 (1h 6m 44s):
Which is like,
3 (1h 6m 50s):
And the reason is because they knew what a conscious level that it's bad for them. But the 95%, their subconscious, which is way more powerful believes and is convinced that it is doing something good for them. It is that simple, right? Somebody wants to stop overeating, stop the impulse to eat sweets and stress, eating, comfort, eating well. They know it's hurting them. They know that every time they feel anxious, they go and open the fridge. Right? Every time their boss tells them that they got to put in a couple more hours at work, they go and order pizza because they're overwhelmed. Right. And they know these things at a conscious level, but as long as they believe subconsciously and are programmed to do that thing, have that response to this trigger.
3 (1h 7m 39s):
They're going to continue doing that because I don't care what world you're in. 95 will always be a greater number than five.
8 (1h 7m 48s):
And it took me a long to wrap my brain around that and believe it. And the more I understand about hypnosis, the more I realize most of what I'm doing is I'm, I've recycled it from the past. Yeah.
3 (1h 8m 2s):
It's amazing. Right. And so, after, after I explained that to people, then I go and talk about the critical faculty. And I asked them, if I tell you your name is Jennifer, what would you say? No, it's not that you need me to show you an ID. Where are you getting this from? Right. You critical faculty goes, no,
5 (1h 8m 26s):
3 (1h 8m 26s):
Processed by the conscious mind. And then it doesn't go through to the subconscious it's rejected. That's not me. Why the job of the critical faculties to keep the status quo, whatever it's worked so far to keep you alive, it'll accept that. Anything else or reject it so far, it's worked just fine for you to be Lori. Anything else? It's going to push back and say, we don't want that here. Then I asked them, well, how's it possible that within five minutes, I can have somebody forget their name and swear that are named something else they can have grown. Men think that their name is Jessica. And swear by that, that it's the name on their birth certificate. That it's the name. Their parents have called them. And if you call them by their real name, they actually get really mad at you.
3 (1h 9m 7s):
How is that possible? And then a better question I love asking is what do you think is more likely for you to forget your own name or for you to forget how to feel anxious, how to feel, fear, how to feel doubt. What's more likely what have you done for the longest,
5 (1h 9m 31s):
Right? They've called you by your name, your whole life. And in five minutes, you forgot. That's crazy.
3 (1h 9m 38s):
So you're what you can forget how to feel anxious and how to doubt yourself and how to limit yourself just as quickly. And so that's like, Oh,
5 (1h 9m 48s):
Oh my God. Right? Right. It's true.
3 (1h 9m 50s):
True. It's true. Yes. We're doing one temporarily. We're doing the other one permanently, but it makes a difference. And so once you make that clear and they understand how hypnosis works and all that, and you start getting into question, you know, all these things and realize that the change needs to happen at a subconscious level. The reason why they can't do the thing that they want to do, why the motivation is not magically appearing. Why they're not just doing the thing is because they know what they need to do, but inside they're not in alignment. Right? And so then you might say something to answer your question. You might say something like now, what hypnosis does is it bypasses the critical faculty.
3 (1h 10m 35s):
So we can go into the subconscious mind and make all the necessary changes we can eradicate fear, eliminate limiting, beliefs, doubts, repetitious cycles of this echo of somebody else's voice of it. You're not good enough. You can't do it. Right? All this gone out the window. We can install confidence, install motivation so that you do what you know, you should be doing. And you not getting in your own way. Imagine how you going to feel,
5 (1h 11m 4s):
Right? This is where you, this is where you do the thing. Imagine how,
3 (1h 11m 7s):
Where you going to feel when you look back and you realize, wow, I am doing it. How proud you're going
4 (1h 11m 14s):
To feel, knowing that the work and all the sacrifice, love and dedication, your mom put into this was not in vain. Now what's the only choice. They don't have a choice and that's not manipulation. That's persuasion, which is not the same. This patient is getting someone to see things from a different perspective and the way that it benefits everyone involved. That's what it is, you know? And so we need to use our tools to help people help themselves.
1 (1h 11m 45s):
Right? And so
4 (1h 11m 47s):
That's, that's what it comes down to. And what I, what I want everyone to understand is if you're limiting yourself, because you don't have the confidence to sell yourself, realize that it's because you've been focusing on the wrong thing. And if you have not had much success with that is because again, you haven't been focusing on the wrong, on the right thing, focus on what they're getting out of it, focus on what is most valuable to them. And when you frame what you can offer from that lens, then this happens, which brings me to this next point. Would you ever buy Laurie something that is priced at $50, but you know, is only worth two.
1 (1h 12m 34s):
There'd have to be a real good reason. Yeah. You'd have to be properly insane. It maybe the
4 (1h 12m 42s):
Reason is that you collect these things, right.
1 (1h 12m 44s):
Reminds me of my grandma or yes. Yeah. But
4 (1h 12m 48s):
Point you're, you're projecting value onto that thing, right? From your life experiences or whatever. But as is say, I have a paperclip and you're not particularly interested in paperclips, so you don't work in an office or anything like that. And it's no special paperclip. It's one of those thinky gray paperclips. And I say, Hey, you want a paperclip here, 50 bucks. You could need a paperclip. You know, you could be in desperate need of a paperclip. And you'll be like, now I'm fine. I could just, you know, keep these pages together. It's cool. You know, you would never pay more than what you perceive.
4 (1h 13m 29s):
Something is worth. I'm going to repeat that in another way. If something is perceived to be worth $2 and you're selling it for 50, no one's going to buy. But if that same thing is perceived to be worth a hundred and you're selling it for 50 and that's a different story. Right? So how do we do that? Well, simple question.
4 (1h 14m 11s):
What is it to you to know that all the effort your mom put in or her love and dedication, all the things that she did to raise you, to be the woman that you are to make sure you got a good education. What is that worth to you? That question does not have an answer because that's priceless, right? When you get to the root of someone's core value, it's priceless because their core value is the thing they value the most. It's in the word core value, right? And so if someone values freedom, then if you can, if you ask them, what's the price of them having that freedom, they can't put a price to that.
4 (1h 15m 2s):
And so after you frame what you have to offer as the solution to them getting their value, where their needs is being met, then you can ask for whatever you want. And I'm going to tell you right now, if you're listening, whatever you're charging,
1 (1h 15m 20s):
I agree. I agree.
4 (1h 15m 23s):
Some people would look at me weird. If I tell them how much I charged that woman.
1 (1h 15m 29s):
That makes me happy to hear when I was a hairstylist. I, you know, I started at the bottom and I worked my way up. And the clients that I attracted and the value that they perceive from my service when I was charging $20 for a haircut was night and day different from the client that I attracted as a master hairstylist, they sat in my chair, we enjoyed our conversations. They looked in the mirror, they loved what they saw. They pre-booked two appointments out. We just enjoyed our time. And the ones that are just paying a few dollars are nitpicky. And you, you change people more effectively when you charge more money.
4 (1h 16m 9s):
Yes. And specifically in our line of work, this is important. And I'll tell, I'll tell you what you just brought up huge. Okay? The client that pays 150 bucks does not behave in the same way, does not care in the same way. There's not focus in the same way as someone that pays upwards of $500, okay. Or a thousand dollars. They're not the same. The ladder will want you to succeed.
4 (1h 16m 51s):
The ladder will buy the headphones. If they don't have any lateral, make sure they have a good internet connection. Make sure they're not being interrupted. They will recommend you to other people. If you do a good job, if you do a good job, there'll be more than happy to reach out again. If they need you for something else, they will give you the most amazing video testimonial. And the reason is this, and this is another reason why pricing is important. Serious question, Lori, you see an ad in the newspaper that says free dentist treatment.
4 (1h 17m 39s):
Do you golf?
1 (1h 17m 40s):
No, no shit. Like when I got my surgery on my eyes, I got the most expensive doctor I could find
4 (1h 17m 48s):
That's right, exactly. Why is it? You start questioning like, Oh, what are they going to do to my mouth?
1 (1h 17m 57s):
4 (1h 17m 57s):
My gut. I don't know if I trust them and you know what? They could be the best, but whether it's free or an, I mentioned this because, you know, we, we love what we do. And we might be doing things for free for family and friends and things like that. My personal take on that is don't unless it's like, you really feel like it. And it's like a special thing do, okay, fine. But don't make a habit of doing that because then people won't value what you do. Right. So if you look at an ad, it's like, dentist's appointment for free, right? We do a root canal for free.
4 (1h 18m 38s):
You start thinking, are they any good? Can I trust them? Right. And with someone who's going to perform surgery and you remove your appendix. I don't know how I feel about that. Right. Instead, what do we do? You know, if you want to understand how people behave when they're purchasing something, look at your own consumer behavior. Okay. What you do is you go for the more expensive thing, because in your mind that is associated with value. We perceive the most expensive thing as the thing of higher value, even though that's not necessarily true.
4 (1h 19m 19s):
Right? And so you go to the dentist that charges the most, do you go to the doctor, that's going to charge the most. You go to the ophthalmologist that charges the most, because you want to make sure you're getting quality service. Yes. And so my question for you is not for you specifically, but for those listening, is, are you offering a quality service? Can you say that you guarantee people will be satisfied or their money back? I'm not saying you should say that. I'm saying, I say that and I've never had to give money back. So that's good news. But can you say that even if you don't have a guarantee in place, can you say that?
4 (1h 20m 5s):
Can you say, I know my are going to be satisfied?
3 (1h 20m 9s):
Can you guarantee that? And then if you can, are you charging what that's worth? What is that worth? The fact is it's priceless and whatever you're charging, it's probably not enough. Right? And if you were to charge more people, refer you more clients, people value more what you do. And they're a completely different breed of clients. Now, my approach to that is for those that can't because I want to help everybody. I have other solutions. So maybe you might want to do that. Maybe you might want to start selling a hypnosis recordings and have different tiers and things like that at different price points.
3 (1h 20m 51s):
You know, like one of those is the lowest tiers, 47 bucks who can't afford that. Right. That's, that's huge for what you get. Right. And the other question is what's getting in your way. Is it? I don't know how to record, is it? I don't know how to edit the audio. Is it? I don't know how to go about getting a good microphone for that. Well, NLP teaches is about modeling. Whoever's doing it. Find out what they're doing and then do the same. It is that simple, whatever you want in life, find out who's already doing it.
3 (1h 21m 33s):
What they did learn from other people's mistakes, not your own learn from other people's mistakes. It's way easier to say, save yourself the trouble.
1 (1h 21m 43s):
Yes. And that's why I do this podcast because I, every guest that I bring on, I believe they have something that the listener can model. And Lance has just given you all a masterclass at this. If you are getting ready to do a consultation or talk to your client about money and you notice your heart pounding, first of all, you can reframe it as excitement. And then you can just be land to just channel lances and do it the way you think he would do it. And what you're going to do is unlock those attributes in yourself. And you're going to find that you do have the boldness to do this, that you, you deserve this. You are worthy of a good, a good compensation for this incredible life-changing value.
1 (1h 22m 25s):
You're giving people
3 (1h 22m 27s):
Absolutely a hundred percent and that's with anything in life. You know, if you want to be more confident, you know, we talk about anchoring and in creating an anchor, you want to get in what we call someone else's shoes, right? Second person put yourself in the body and mindset of the person that you perceive as the most confident, right? If confidence, excuse me. If confidence is the thing that you want to feel, and then what do you do? We call this the triad, right? Change your focus, change your physiology, change your internal dialogue. If you, those three things, they're the ones that determine your emotional state.
3 (1h 23m 10s):
If you change your focus, your focus, being what you're thinking about, what are the images that you're playing in your mind? If you change your internal dialogue, what are you saying to yourself? What questions are you asking yourself? Are you're asking yourself, what if they reject me? What if they don't like me? Or you're asking yourself, what if it works out? What if this is an amazing connection? What if they close the deal? Right? And then what's your physiology doing? Are you breathing shallow and quickly? Is your body slouching or your arms crossed? Are you closed off? Or are you sitting up bright and smiling and confident, chin up open body language. Are you breathing deeply and slowly to produce all those feel good hormones, right?
3 (1h 23m 52s):
So what you do is you find out in your mind who represents, who's an embodiment of that desired emotional state. Then ask yourself, put yourself in that person's perceptual position, see yourself, see the world through their eyes, ask yourself, what are they focusing on to feel this way? What are they telling themselves to feel this way? How are they breathing? How are they walking? Are they talking to feel this way? And once you get very clear on that, you can then anchor that emotion by doing whatever you want, touch your ear lobe or whatever.
5 (1h 24m 32s):
It's going to be very subtle. And no one will notice do that thing.
3 (1h 24m 37s):
Do that three times, four times you would have created an anchor for yourself, but you can do that at any point in time. Whenever you want to feel anything, just think of someone that encapsulates that emotion or that idea for you, whether that is someone that's quick-witted and fun and outgoing or someone that's confident and bold or someone that's passionate and hardworking. You know, someone that is motivated to eat healthy and exercise. How do they think, right? What pictures do they paint in their mind? I'll tell you, they focus on the end goal. How are they going to feel after they achieve their results? You know, and how they're going to feel when they look at themselves in the mirror.
3 (1h 25m 19s):
So do that. Absolutely. A hundred percent great advice from Lori. Thank you.
5 (1h 25m 25s):
Bringing that up. I want to ask, I want to ask a question
3 (1h 25m 29s):
That I'm not going to answer because I will answer it when we're done, which we're nowhere
5 (1h 25m 34s):
Near done. And the question
3 (1h 25m 36s):
Is what is the richest place on earth? And I wanted to open up with that, but I forgot, but yeah, that's, that's my question for the listeners. And I will answer it when we reached the end, what is the richest place on earth? Do you know what is the richest place on earth? And that's, I'll be honest. That's my way of creating a cliffhanger and build anticipation. So you stick to the very end. So if you want to find out what the answer is to that question, stay with us.
1 (1h 26m 7s):
Awesome. I'm excited. I'll stay well, if you leave, we won't have much of a podcast. This is so amazing. I I've been actually typing notes off to the side. I don't want to, I feel like when I'm doing these podcasts, it's like, I already know what I know. I want to find out what you know, and sometimes I'm almost afraid to interrupt your flow by interjecting. So Lance, I just want to personally thank you from my heart. I knew this was going to be amazing and you have already delivered so above and beyond what I was expecting. It's just incredible.
3 (1h 26m 43s):
Thank you. Thank you so much. No, and I, like I told you, before we jumped on, I love the flow. You know, we both have things that we'd love to talk about. And, but we also both like to ride the wave. Right. And that's cool. So I'm, I'm fine. I'm okay with you with you not interrupting because that has negative connotations.
1 (1h 27m 6s):
I do my best not to
3 (1h 27m 8s):
Aligned and, and giving your, your input and your taking, asking questions. So please do, if at any point you have something to say or ask or because we do. I think when we, when our minds come together, we create a third mind, right? Another, a more evolved and heightened kind of consciousness. Right. And people can, can learn from the combination of both. There are understandings.
1 (1h 27m 34s):
Yeah. As I'm listening and imagining, you know, putting myself in the perceptual position of an, of another person listening, I'm going to ask you a question and I will edit this out because I feel like I'm totally putting you on the spot. And this is a really big ask. How would you feel about sharing your slide deck and maybe putting a paragraph under each one? And you could share this. I don't mind. I think people would find that massively valuable. I don't mind at all. Okay. Awesome. I'm glad I asked.
3 (1h 28m 4s):
Well, let me make a point about that. There is no dumb question. The only question that's stupid is the one you don't ask. Yes. Okay. So, and the one that's framed negatively,
1 (1h 28m 19s):
Right? And the worst thing that can happen is they say no. And then you're right back where you were. If you didn't ask
3 (1h 28m 24s):
Exactly, I'm going to repeat what she just said. The worst thing that could happen is you're right back where you were, this is so important when talking about the imposter syndrome, when talking about taking a risk, a leap of faith, the worst case scenario is nothing happens. And you're exactly where you were. Think about how freeing that is.
1 (1h 28m 53s):
Yes. When you're saying, what if this doesn't work? What if I stumble over my words? What if I don't have the right hypnosis chair?
4 (1h 29m 5s):
Exactly. So, yeah, just, just do it really, you know, you asked me when we started about my, my story and my past, and I told you about magic and mentalism and all that. And there's another reason why I bring that up and something that I've learned from that. And is that a good, magical illusion is all about a distortion of reality, right? We're playing with people's maps of the world. Right? So whatever you see, I mean, I don't do magic anymore, but whenever you see a magician do is say, for example, a woman is levitating on stage or she sign in half, right?
4 (1h 29m 52s):
Logically you go, well, that can't be because you can't kind of person have without blood and put them back together and they're fine. But your eyes are telling you something completely different. There's just one woman. The box is see-through or in some cases, there is no box. You don't know how it's happening, but apparently it's happening. The woman's levitating. You don't see any strings. This loop is huge. Hoop goes around her over and over, and she's still in the air.
4 (1h 30m 36s):
So nothing's holding her. Apparently it's, it's very conflicting. Right? Yeah. And that's really interesting because like a good, magical illusion, we are always distorting our reality by choosing the stories we want to tell ourselves about our experience of it. So what strings are you not seeing? What hidden assistance are you not aware of in your own reality?
4 (1h 31m 19s):
I'm speaking in metaphors. So yeah, we, we inevitably delete, distort and generalize our experience of reality because otherwise we'd be overwhelmed by the amount of information that's coming in through our senses. And so we filter our reality through our five senses. Then we filter it through those three modes, through our beliefs, through our experiences and through our values. And so really great example that I use with my clients is people that come to me for the fear of, I tell them, I tell everybody this, but just to illustrate the power of the mind and our interpretation of the world around us, that what makes us feel bad is not what's happening, is how we interpret what's happening.
4 (1h 32m 12s):
Yes. Two people on an airplane. One is next to the window, sleeping actually snoring. The other one right next to them is panicking. Just pop. The Xanax is going to and from the bathroom because their stomach is not happy. It is upset and they're sweating bullets. They're shaking palpitations. They can hear their heart beating in their ear. What happens if you ask that person what's going on? They say airplanes make me anxious.
8 (1h 32m 51s):
4 (1h 32m 52s):
Airplanes would make me anxious. So then my question is, are you sure it's the airplane that's making you anxious? If it were the airplane making you anxious, don't you think everyone of the airplane would feel the same way?
8 (1h 33m 12s):
The difference is that
4 (1h 33m 16s):
You are thinking of pictures, movies of the plane, going nose first diving towards the earth, exploding in a big ball of fire. And you're thinking about, Oh my God, I'm not getting a chance to say, I love you to the people that matter to me. You thinking about turbulence, being the airplanes, losing control. You're thinking of what if the pilot dies? What if the plane's hijacked? What if this, what or that? What if there's a loose crew? I've heard these things while the person next to you is sleeping comfortably because they're thinking about how good they're going to feel when their wife reached them with a tight warm hug at the airport, the wife they haven't seen in two years, They're thinking about maybe how do you finally have some time for themselves to relax, right?
4 (1h 34m 15s):
And enjoy the Caribbean. And so it is not the airplane that's making you feel frayed. It is a story you're telling yourself about the airplane. And so how are you deceiving yourself? What illusion are you creating to feel stuck, to feel like you're not ready to feel like you have to wait to get started. How are you filtering your reality to continue telling yourself that story through confirmation bias?
8 (1h 34m 57s):
These are questions.
4 (1h 34m 59s):
And then the other question is, what story do you want to write? What story do you want to be told about your life when you're gone? What story do you want your grandchildren to tell about their grandfather or grandmother? Wow. What is the example you want to leave them with? Is it one that's going to inspire them or will there be no example to tell
8 (1h 35m 27s):
4 (1h 35m 32s):
The fact is my friends, as the kids say, Yolo, you only live once. Or as the Stoics used to say, well, men don't Marty. Remember you will die. I know that's a very dark thought at first glance, but it is actually quite a bright one. I have a necklace here that has a skull, and I'm not sure if you can see it, Lori, but it has a skull. And it says momentum ADI, right around the skull. And then on the other side, there's another skull.
4 (1h 36m 12s):
And it says <inaudible>, which means, remember to live. So we talk about death, not because the intention is feeling bad and you know, all the heaviness that comes with it. But because when we realize that we only have one shot at this and there's no time to waste my friends, I tell you, remember you'll die so that you can remember to live the life you have. And when you remember that, then you just have no room for regrets.
4 (1h 36m 55s):
I'll share with my biggest fear is have two fears, the fear of fear and the fear of re of regret. And the reason for that is just the thought. And I'd like you, if you're listening to entertain this idea, imagine you're in your deathbed. If you're lucky that everyone gets to do that, and you're surrounded by your family and maybe you have a terminal illness, you know, your time has come and you look around, everyone's there holding your hand, telling you they love you, but beside your cousin and your sister and your brother, you know, who else is standing there, your neglected dreams, looking at you, dead in the eye telling you, you forgot them.
4 (1h 37m 60s):
You ignored them. You abandoned them. Can you live with that? A better question. Can you die with that? Wow. So I think constantly about the feeling of being old and looking back and knowing, not just in thought, but feeling that I can't go back and because we can't go back because we can't try again, go back five years, do over.
4 (1h 38m 48s):
This is not a movie. It's Showtime, baby. It is Showtime. And the show is on what story will you tell? That is my question. And so, you know, the problem of imposter syndrome comes from fear. It also comes from in decisiveness. So I'd like to give you an exercise. If you're in the site, if you feel indecisive, if you're torn between two things, you want to do, take a coin. All right. And on the head side of the coin, tell yourself, okay, this is that path, right?
4 (1h 39m 31s):
Path a on the tail side, tell yourself, right? This is path B, whatever those are for you take that coin commit heads is this tells us that toss the coin in the air, let it flip and turn, catch it. Don't look, catch it between the back of your left hand and the Palm of your right, or if you're left-handed the other way around and don't look, ask yourself, what do I want to land on top? As you flip, think, whatever lands, that's what I'm going to do.
4 (1h 40m 11s):
That's the path I'm choosing catch. And don't look, you don't need to look whatever you wish to be on top. That is what you should do. You're figuring out what your subconscious mind really wants.
5 (1h 40m 27s):
Just got a masterclass in decision-making three minutes.
4 (1h 40m 33s):
Yes. The other problem is fear, right? Fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of, you know, I'm not ready for, you're not being good enough. And so that brings me to the topic of limiting beliefs, because that's what that is. You say it to somebody, why aren't you doing the thing? And they say, I'm not ready. Or when will you start? I will start. When I'm ready. I'm not good enough. I'm not ready yet. There's what we call a presupposition.
4 (1h 41m 14s):
There we are presupposing that you have to be ready to start. It's like, if you ask someone, do you realize yet that hypnosis is the solution to your problem? The question is not about whether or not hypnosis is the solution to their problem. It's about whether or not they realize it yet. And the yet is saying that they will, if they don't yet language, karate, mind jet. Right. And we're doing this to ourselves, right? Are you kicking your own butt with these words?
4 (1h 41m 59s):
Are you getting in your way? So when we say things like that, it's a presupposition say, I can't, I can't, because I'm not ready. You're presupposing. You're assuming that you have to be ready to start. So then, you know, we follow the metamodel. I will then ask, well, how do you know if you're ready? Do you know anyone who has started without being ready?
8 (1h 42m 33s):
4 (1h 42m 35s):
How can someone who hasn't started be good enough? How can someone who has not started be good enough?
8 (1h 42m 52s):
4 (1h 42m 53s):
The only reason you're not ready is because you think you have to be, when you realize you never will be, then you will be ready.
8 (1h 43m 3s):
4 (1h 43m 7s):
I have goosebumps on top of goosebumps. That's the truth. When you realize you never will be, then you will be ready. So my question, I'm going to use my linguistics to persuade you is, do you realize yet that you never will be ready? I'll tell you a funny story. I went to the pharmacy. I went to CVS to get scissors, and this is ridiculous. Please Google it. Google images, scissors, packaging, meme. You will find this. It's a real thing. I go to buy scissors and you know, they have a packaging and it's got the piece of cardboard in the bag and the plastic.
4 (1h 43m 51s):
But then the actual blades are tied to the cardboard by a plastic band. And on the back of the scissors, there's an illustration of a pair of scissors cutting the band. And you're like,
8 (1h 44m 5s):
4 (1h 44m 7s):
If I had scissors to cut the scissor packaging? I wouldn't be getting scissors in the first place. It is stupid. It makes no sense who came up with this. It's like, you go to apply for a job. And they're like, you need job experience. It's the first time you're applying for a job. Like you need job experience. How are you going to have experience if you've never worked before? Yeah. How are you going to be ready if you haven't started? Yeah. So just start.
8 (1h 44m 38s):
4 (1h 44m 40s):
And you know, my other fears, fear, because I think it's way scarier to let fear hold you back. So my question is what should be greater? What should be greater to you? The fear of starting or the fear of the fear of starting?
8 (1h 45m 1s):
4 (1h 45m 4s):
Fear. The fear of starting not starting. Yeah. If someone knows did it. So can you, yeah. You don't know everything and it is okay. And if you can, you must, if that's where your heart is, do the thing, do the thing that scares you, fear is there as a survival mechanism. But if you're not in danger, it is a signal. It is telling you what is the thing you should be doing? Ooh, that's really it. You know? And it's funny because we talk about the comfort zone and you know, growth doesn't happen in the comfort zone.
4 (1h 45m 51s):
Well, Hey, maybe that's what it's saying. It's saying that you're growing. You should do the thing that makes you feel like you're being torn. How does it muscle grow, learn from nature. How does coal become a diamond pressure over long periods of time, right?
8 (1h 46m 13s):
Right. And so
4 (1h 46m 19s):
The body, right? You impact yourself over and over again, this, in the hand, right here, you build a callus, gets stronger. It gets thicker, right? People who lift weights, they get callouses right here. For the same reason, our bodies nature, naturally things become stronger and bigger through pain, pain, plus reflection equals growth. Look back at the things that have hurt. You ask yourself, what can I learn from that experience and grow from that? Isn't that what we do with timeline therapy?
8 (1h 47m 4s):
4 (1h 47m 5s):
What I would say is if you feel afraid, if you feel like you're nervous about doing the thing, have a little compassion for yourself, you know? Yeah. You're not perfect. You never will be. But the good news is nobody is nobody has been, and nobody knew everything. There is to know nobody was an expert in the field that they're an expert in. They had to take a first step, just like you had to take a first step. When you learn to walk and show yourself compassion. You know, there's a, there's something that, you know, I constantly go back to the Stoics because so much wisdom and stoic philosophy that is so amazing.
4 (1h 47m 53s):
And life changing that now is backed up by psychology, which is incredible. Given how long ago they came up with these things. They discovered these things, something they talk about called the dichotomy of control. And that is Marcus Aurelius and Epictetus. They said there are the things that are within your control and the things that aren't. So I want you to think about the things that are not in your control and list them. What are they other people's thoughts, other people's actions, other people's opinions of you, other people's beliefs, other people's emotions, nature, pandemics,
8 (1h 48m 38s):
4 (1h 48m 40s):
Economic decline war. Unless you're in a position where that is under your control death illness, And then make a curtain down the middle. On the other side, what is under your control? My thoughts, my actions, my interpretations of reality, my emotions, my beliefs, my reactions.
4 (1h 49m 21s):
And you will find that that is it. How liberating is it to realize the things that you've been worrying about? You can do nothing to change. My gosh, how freeing is that? And so what happens is we feel miserable when we try to control the things we can't and believe we can't control the things we can. We misplaced
3 (1h 49m 48s):
Things again, like we misplaced motivation and values. So well you can do, if something's worrying you, like, what will people think of me? If I do the thing,
5 (1h 49m 60s):
What will happen?
3 (1h 50m 2s):
You can say, is that within my control? Or is it outside of my control? And what you will find is that you can control it. And if you can control it, no amount of worrying is going to change it. And so what can you do? You can just let it go. Bye bye. And then the things that are worrying you that are within your control, what's the point in worrying if you can change them. So is there a point in worrying,
5 (1h 50m 32s):
3 (1h 50m 34s):
There. Isn't right. It's like, okay. Are you worried? Yes. Can you control it? No. So why are you worrying? Are you worried? Yes. Can you control it? Yes. So why are you worrying?
5 (1h 50m 53s):
I love that
3 (1h 50m 54s):
Simple, right? It's really simple. People say like, Oh, I'm so upset. When I look in the mirror, I'm not happy with my body. Can you control it? Yes. You can change your habits. You can talk to a hypnotherapist to help you with that and you can change it. It is within your control. How liberating is that you see? So it's very important to, to, to remember that. Another thing that I want to mention is something from this book called principles, by Ray Dalio, he talks more in depth about what we can learn from nature. That whole thing about growing and learning from being torn and, and all these things.
3 (1h 51m 40s):
Right. But something else you mentioned there said, if you want to get anything in life, you need to be brutally honest with yourself and transparent. And also open-minded honest and open-minded transparent and open minded, transparent, not just with others, but with yourself. What does this mean? And why is that necessary? Especially when it comes to getting what you want and achieving what your goals, the things that you're scared of doing well, you have to be honest with yourself, brutally honest, radically transparent, and admit to yourself that you know what, I don't know, all there is to know.
3 (1h 52m 30s):
And that's okay. And you're never gonna, I'm never gonna, I'll never be ready. And then the open-minded part comes in because that's what you need to seek help from. Other people that's humility part
4 (1h 52m 47s):
Where you're, open-minded enough to look at other people's perspectives and learn from other people, ask questions to those who have answers, learn from people who have already done the thing that you want to do. So be radically honest and transparent with yourself and others realize that you're not perfect. You never will be. You don't know everything there is to know. And all those things are okay. The good news is other people can fill in those gaps for you and you need to be humble enough. And open-minded enough to take on that wisdom and then apply it. Remember it is not, it is not wisdom unless you apply it.
4 (1h 53m 29s):
That's just knowledge knowing something here is not good enough if you're not implementing. And so when it comes to hypnosis and I'm aware that the majority of the audience here are hypnotherapists, we have to realize that if we're limiting ourselves in these ways, we have been hypnotizing ourself with all these limitations. And so with that, having said that I'd like to now dive into why I can make the claims I make and where I pull out the confidence to do so.
4 (1h 54m 11s):
So the fact is this either hypnosis doesn't exist or everything is hypnosis. And we know the former is not, it all is hypnosis. Meaning you hypnotized. When you're scrolling through your phone, you're hypnotizing, you're reading a book. You're hypnotized. When you're watching a movie, you're hypnotized. When you're a kid and your parents are telling you, watch out, be careful, Hey, Timmy, be safe.
4 (1h 54m 54s):
Don't go out there. Don't play in the, in the water. You're going to drown. Right? When people tell us, I don't know, man, it's too far fetched to dream. That's I don't think someone like you could get there. I mean, when somebody says a singer, really, and it's a tough, tough career, you got a lot of competition all the time. You're being hypnotized, you know? And you know, we talk about value, values, elicitation.
4 (1h 55m 36s):
And so something really, really simple, but deeply moving. And, and life-changing,
3 (1h 55m 44s):
If you really understand it, remember I talked about eliciting another person's value by asking them, what does this do for you? Now, I want to take that and turn it inward. Wherever you feel stuck, what are you doing instead of the thing that you should be doing or that, you know, you want to be doing?
8 (1h 56m 9s):
It is very simple.
3 (1h 56m 12s):
If you don't take action, you value comfort. If you take action, you value growth. So my question for you is do you value comfort overgrowth? Or do you value growth over comfort?
8 (1h 56m 38s):
3 (1h 56m 39s):
It's growth. And I know that everyone listening answered growth. Yeah. What you might find though, is that we've been acting from a place of misalignment, but we're not acting taking action in alignment with what we value. So think about that. And before you talk yourself out of doing the thing that you should be doing, ask yourself, what am I, where am I acting from right now? Am I acting from a place of value and comfort or value and growth? Am I hypnotizing myself? The hypnotize yourself, snap yourself out of it, right?
3 (1h 57m 20s):
Remember why you're doing it. You're doing it because you love it. You're doing this because you can change people's lives. Nobody lacks motivation. There's only misplaced motivation. We move away from pain and towards pleasure. If this brings you joy, if this satisfies your human needs, which are certainty, uncertainty, significance, love, and connection growth in contribution, everyone that's in. This is mainly in because of love and connection and contribution and contribution and love and connection are the things that the only two human needs that give your life purpose.
3 (1h 58m 3s):
All the other ones are needs of the self certainty, uncertainty, significance, growth. But those two are about other people and they give your life purpose. If you get purpose, if your need for contribution, for giving, for service, for love and connection for sharing joy with the world are met through this path. The path of being an agent of change. If this is what makes you happy, if you love the feeling of you're done with a session and someone's crying and saying my gosh, that was amazing. I love
4 (1h 58m 42s):
You. Thank you for freeing me from my depression. Yeah. Thank you for getting rid of the anxiety that was eating at me inside. If that makes you happy, then I believe you have all the motivation you need to do the thing. That's really it. And if you're afraid of failing, realize that that is something you were hypnotized to fear. You're only born with two fears, the fears of loud noises and the fear of falling. When you were a baby. I want you to think back to when you walked, when you were learning to walk, you took your first step and you fell probably on your face and you stood up again and you took that first step and you fell again.
4 (1h 59m 33s):
And you did that 20 times before you took your second step and you did that and you still couldn't figure out how to take your third. And you did it again and again and again, over and over until you got the hang of it. And then you walked four and five and six and everyone sheared in the abroad. Yes. They took their first steps. Oh my God. Finally, at no point, did you look at that as a failure at no point did you give up right now?
4 (2h 0m 13s):
You walk without thinking your feet, move in the direction of where you want to go effortlessly. It has become automatic. The same can happen with whatever it is. That's holding that. You're holding yourself back from yes. And realize that every time you fell as a child, you were curious. You wonder what if the next time is when I get it right? And every time that you fell, it was not a failure was a learning experience. Because every time you fell, your brain was identifying calculating very complex motor skill.
4 (2h 1m 0s):
By the way, walking is really, really complex. You have to counteract the force of gravity with your muscles. Your brain was calculating and absorbing and learning what not to do the next time around so that you don't fall. Every time you felt like, okay, I'm not doing what I just did. Then you did it again. And you felt okay, I'm not doing that either. Right? And he did it over and over and over again until you deleted all of the things that were holding you back from walking. And so remember that your true self, your core self, the person you were before you were hypnotized by society, did not
3 (2h 1m 40s):
Fear. Failure. Failure was not in your vocabulary because failure doesn't exist. It is an illusion. It is a story we tell ourselves, there's no such thing. There's only feedback. There's only learning and realize it in the same way that now you're able to do it effortlessly. And without thinking whatever it is that right now, it seems like a challenge later on, you will do effortlessly and without thought, okay? So there's no such thing. There's no such thing. The reason why we are comfortable and we feel as good to be in the comfort zone is because our brain is not, has not evolved to make you happy or successful or feel fulfilled.
3 (2h 2m 23s):
It has evolved to keep you alive, to help you survive. So whenever your survival is threatened, we have to think back and look at why our brain functions the way it does and how we interacted within tribes. Back in the days when you were not accepted, when the tribe didn't like you, it meant certain death. It meant you were not going to have access to food and water. It meant that your line, your family line and did it right there, you would not reproduce. So when you're rejected by people, when people say something that attacks your ego, you feel bad and you feel discomfort and you feel all this turning in your chest.
3 (2h 3m 12s):
And, and even just before public speaking this not, and, and the palpitations, all these chemicals released because your amygdala, this is part of your limbic system. This is your primitive mind.
10 (2h 3m 25s):
He goes, Oh my God, Oh my God. What if, what if I die? What if they reject me? What if I'm not accepted?
3 (2h 3m 33s):
Well, you have to do is you have to bring in your, your higher level of mind, your prefrontal cortex and go, you know what? I'm excited. I'm excited at the possibility of what might happen. If I do this thing of what can go right. Of how many lives I can change, that one person is going to send me a direct message. When I finished this live stream and go, I needed to hear that. Thank you so much. And guess what? If you change one person's life, all of it was worth it. All of it was worth it because you can go to bed at night, knowing that you did something great for somebody else. And I think that's good enough. I really do so realize that the reason why there's all this resistance is because your brain, not only is it by default protecting you from anything, that's apparently a threat to your survival, but you're programming.
3 (2h 4m 25s):
The things that people do and say are feeding that narrative too. And so if you want to be fulfilled, if you want to be happy, if you went to live with a purpose, if you wanted to be successful, you have to literally rewire your brain. So you're not operating from that old programming. And that's just it, right? So the reason why we are okay with the comfort zone and while we want to stay there is because that means safety. That means nothing's going to happen to me. I'm not going to get hurt. It's okay. It's cozy over here, right? Give me a blankie, right? But guess what? That's where you stay a baby forever. That's where you don't grow.
3 (2h 5m 7s):
That's where you don't evolve. That's where you don't learn. And that is where you don't impact other people's lives right now. What am I doing? I'm using your values. If you're listening to this, chances, are you value helping other people and your biggest need is contribution. So I'm going to tell you straight up through the lens of your values. If you continue to stand in your way, you're not going to help people. You're not going to make an impact. You're not going to change as many lives as you want to. You're not going to have this legacy that you want to be remembered for. And so is the comfort worth it?
3 (2h 5m 47s):
You know the answer to that question, it isn't, it isn't because the gratification, the joy, the love that you will feel when you do the thing, it's priceless, you cannot quantify it. You can not put a number on it. You can even put a price on it, and there is no limit to what you can do, except for the limit that you place on yourself. So remember to be like that child, be curious, wonder, explore a play. You know, I said at the beginning that I don't box myself in because I truly don't like I do so many things. It's ridiculous.
3 (2h 6m 27s):
And you know, for the longest time I heard that people that were Jack of all trades or not effective at anything, because supposedly they're like, they're multitasking and doing so many things that they're never good at one thing. And I never found that to be true in my life because I only do the things that I enjoy. And so I go all in on every one of them. And then the other day, I think it was two days ago, I was listening to a book summary through an app called Blinkist, amazing, by the way, every single day for free, you don't have to pay for that. Every single day, they summarize an entire book and all its main points pay for it though.
3 (2h 7m 8s):
You can listen and read. You can do both the summary of any book at all that they have on there. And one of the books two days ago that they have, we're talking about that, that they've actually proven now that Jack of all trades are more likely to be successful. And if you really think about it, it makes sense because you're curious, you you're, you're already inclined to exploring and playing and wondering what if, right?
4 (2h 7m 36s):
So be curious, be a child don't grow up. It's a
5 (2h 7m 39s):
Rap. Don't grow up. You know,
4 (2h 7m 44s):
I don't, but I can find out I can find out for you and let you know. Yeah, absolutely. And you know, with that, with that being said, I want to share a story that Freddie Jaquin will know about. That is one of those things. One of those examples where we are reminded that anything is possible, and I'm going to go on a limb here and say that you, if your listener, if you're hitting a therapist, you have no idea what people can do with the power of the subconscious mind, with your help.
4 (2h 8m 30s):
Yeah. Notice how I didn't say what you can do.
5 (2h 8m 35s):
Cause that's not what happens,
4 (2h 8m 37s):
What you can help people do to themselves. You have no idea.
5 (2h 8m 46s):
Let me tell you the story.
4 (2h 8m 48s):
I have a friend, who's a teacher, she's a high school teacher and she was diagnosed with narcolepsy. For those who don't know what narcolepsy is, it is diagnosed by a neurologist and it is quite scary. I'm going to pull up the definition right now. Narcolepsy, here we go. A condition characterized by an extreme tendency to fall asleep whenever in relaxing surroundings, just imagine
5 (2h 9m 26s):
4 (2h 9m 27s):
It must be to hypnotize. Someone like that.
5 (2h 9m 29s):
Oh yeah. Now
4 (2h 9m 34s):
My friend who's diagnosed with narcolepsy, which by the way, doctors say can not be cured. Doctors say cannot be cured. And you know, you take medications for it, but the medications were not even doing the trick. They were not. It's an imbalance is an imbalance with a person is falling asleep. Even if they had a full night's rest in the middle of the day while they're at work. So just picture what this looks like. She's a teacher, her students are in the classroom. She is teaching. And while maybe they're doing some work or some assignment or whatever, she's knocking out, she's dozing off on her desk To the point is where it gets crazy that she used to.
4 (2h 10m 30s):
I say that with a smile on my face, she used to have to ask teachers to come in and watch the class for five to 10 minutes. So she could go to the parking lot, sit in her car and take a nap. It was literally getting in the way of her life. And so, you know, we had talked about hypnosis and she tells me that she has this thing. And I, I know, I know it's I have no doubt that the mind can heal. How do I know that I seen it? I have evidence for it.
4 (2h 11m 10s):
Yes. No people are prayed over and tumors disappear. Cancer vanishes. It's not the prayer because you have people, two people that are prayed over for the same issue. One of them heals the other. Doesn't why one of them believe the other didn't. And the thing is the subconscious mind can heal the body. Yes. We have not tapped into exactly how to really exploit that. But we are the people at the front lines of this discovery. The subconscious mind can heal the body.
4 (2h 11m 52s):
They are connected in the same way that stress and the chemicals it produces can make you sick. Can cause heart attacks and cause irritable bowel syndrome, gastritis Crohn's disease also simers and even exacerbate those kinds of issues and asthma. And the list goes on. I don't know, it can work in reverse and that's the amazing thing. And so inside of me, I knew that there must be something, at least I could make her life a little easier, but I had no idea how so I messaged Freddie. I sent him an inbox and I go, Freddy, I have a situation.
4 (2h 12m 36s):
I told him, I explain to him what happened. And I asked him, what would you do is I'm thinking about NLP modeling, right? As someone that you look up to and then just do whatever they would do. Yeah. And he said exactly what I thought of doing. I thought he would kind of it another, another answer then like, wow, okay. I guess we'll just do that then. And he just said, you know, give her suggestions for energy throughout the day and better sleep. That's what I would do. And that's what I did. And the way it happened was very interesting because I want you to picture this no video chat.
4 (2h 13m 19s):
This is phone only. And I'm explaining to him doing my pre-talk and she starts snoring in my ear. Oh my God. She goes, quote, you have to relaxing. Sorry. This is what I do. So I'm like, all right, I'm going to speak Martin and genetically now. So this is how he knows his words. And even then she was falling asleep. It was like, honestly, like I had to like, Hey, wake up, wait, can you hear me? Can you, it was that that, wow. And then I realized I remembered something.
4 (2h 14m 0s):
I remembered it doesn't matter because the subconscious mind is always listening, even when you're asleep. And then I say, you know what, actually, it's fine. And that freed her as well. So I said, it's okay if you drift in and out of consciousness in and out of sleep, if you, at some point wake up and you hear me talking, feel free to listen, feel free to go back to sleep. It doesn't matter. Your subconscious mind will take on board any and all suggestions. I get it. And I was certain it would work. And the reason why I was certain, even though this had never been done before is because I know that if I am not certain, I am suggesting uncertainty.
4 (2h 14m 52s):
I'm suggesting failure. So when I have out to do hypnosis, I have no doubt in my body, in my mind, in my core, all of it is, this is going to happen. Your hands will stick. Your eyes will shut. You don't remember your name. What was your name? And they blank out, you know it it's it's where has your name gone? Where has the anxiety gone? Try and feel it find you cannot can't feel it.
4 (2h 15m 33s):
You know, whatever that there's this snake right next to you. Oh my God. Freaking out. Right? I'll talk about that in a second, but it's amazing. But the reason why it works is because we are always communicating. Always we can't not communicate. And so I went into it believing with every fiber of my body, every cell in my heart that this was happening and why I was doing it for her, you know? Well, what was, what was narcolepsy screwing up with in her life?
4 (2h 16m 13s):
And what would the freedom from that do for her? And I sat there and I gave her suggestions for confidence, energy throughout the day, and having an amazing night's sleep for 45 minutes straight. All I did was speak to her subconscious and abracadabra. It's true. We create, as we speak, when I finished, I simply hung up called it a night. It was nighttime. The next day in the afternoon, I gave her time. I wanted to, you know, see how her day went.
4 (2h 16m 55s):
And the afternoon after teaching, I messaged her and I asked her, how was your day? She goes, it was amazing. I'm on my way to, to exercise now about to go for a jog. And yeah, I didn't those often at work. Wow. Really amazing actually. And I'm like, cool,
6 (2h 17m 18s):
But you know a part of it.
4 (2h 17m 20s):
No, like after the fact that part of me is like, well, this lasts, you know, but I'm like, cool, awesome. It'll stay that way. And then I wait a week and I messaged her again and I check in, I'm like, Hey, I'm going to change your name. Hey Mary. So how you been? How's how's how's school. How's this work? How's your energy? How, how have you been sleeping? And she goes, I'm fine. I am sleeping. Amazing.
4 (2h 17m 60s):
I have energy throughout the day. I'm no longer dozing off in class. And I have so much energy that now I'm devote devoted to exercising and all that, like after work and you know how exhausting dealing with kids is it's, it's, it's pretty intense. So yeah, even then, and she's still on that brined with her workout routine, like literally posting on her story in the gym and all that. And I'm like, okay, guess that's it. And then I still like, I wanna be sure I want to be certain. So I, I made an alarm a month later contact again, check in still amazing.
4 (2h 18m 45s):
Six months later, later, still, no narcolepsy. And now I am convinced, I am convinced there's so much we have not explored yet. And the only reason why so many people are suffering from things like this is because of all the preconceived notions and fears and the, the unwillingness from people in the medicine, medical industry to actually tackle the root of the problem and allow space for the person to heal themselves. That's what the body does. That's what it does.
4 (2h 19m 26s):
A doctor does not put your
3 (2h 19m 28s):
Bone back together. They might put it back in place, but ultimately what fuse is the bone? What makes it grow back? What heals that wound. It is you. Wow. A doctor doesn't heal. You doctors have never done such a thing. People have always healed themselves. Their subconscious mind has sent the command for the cells to heal that wound. It is you. And it is you who can heal yourself from all the doubts, all the limiting beliefs, all the bullshit that's getting in your way.
3 (2h 20m 10s):
Yup. And so it's insane. It's like, I'm still shocked at that, but that happened. But at this point it's like, I've had so many crazy things happen that at this point, I'm like, whatever, I can do it, whatever, you know, and if it doesn't happen, well, we tried. So it's cool.
1 (2h 20m 31s):
Yeah. And you never would get there if you hadn't started doing it. And I have the same kind of stories where it's like, I let myself build up that belief in my body during the session. And afterwards I'm like, Oh my gosh, you know, you bump into them a year later, six months later. And they're, it's just matter of fact. Oh yeah. That's not a problem anymore. And I'm like, Whoa, it's the only way. So, I mean, if you geeked out on superheroes, when you were a little, I wanted to be wonder woman so bad and being in this profession, it's like it gratifies every bit of me that thought that I could be a superhero. And at the same time, it takes the weight off because I know it's not me.
1 (2h 21m 12s):
I know it's not me. I'm just saying,
3 (2h 21m 15s):
Yes, it's, it's such a beautiful balance. Isn't it? You, you, you have this. It's like, you have a magic wand, but you can't use it. So you have to give it to somebody else and have them do the magic. Right. That's really it. Right. And it's, it's an amazing thing. It's such an empowering thing because ultimately that's what you want to do during the consultation as well. You want them to realize, and this is you. Like, this is the power of you. This is you can do this. Yes. You can do this. Yes. You have always been able to do this.
3 (2h 21m 55s):
You know, like I actually, there's a family friend that used to smoke and she reached out for a consultation and we never got to do the consultation because she got super busy. So we kept rescheduling and she again, super busy. And here's another tip. Always stay in touch. Don't flake on people, reach out to the people that reached out to you. Don't forget about them. Ask
4 (2h 22m 26s):
Them how they're doing. Check in COVID has been stressful. How are they, how are their family members? You know, what's going on. What's new. Not because you want to get something from them because you truly care. If you don't care, don't reach out. Please drop. Cause that's going to come up. You're going to communicate that we can't not communicate. And they're going to pick up on your lack of authenticity. But if you care about your clients, reach out to the people that have reached out and maybe they didn't have sufficient money to book a session or something came up or whatever, reach out.
4 (2h 23m 6s):
I reached out to her and she, this was today and it's what she said here. I sent her a message on Instagram direct and I'm fetching it right now. I asked, Hey, Nuvia, are you free some day, this coming week to schedule your consultation call. And
8 (2h 23m 36s):
4 (2h 23m 40s):
I quit smoking three months ago.
8 (2h 23m 46s):
I was like, wow,
4 (2h 23m 48s):
That's amazing. Congratulations. I guess you don't need hypnosis anymore. And then that was that. And she goes, thank you. I just made up my mind. Hold on. I just got a call. I just made up my mind. And that was it. Thank you for reaching out. Wow. That's the thing. We help people make up their minds. And so I want you to just make up your mind, do the thing, just do it. Do the thing. Be playful. Explore, ask yourself what if it works? Because the possibility is there. There's nothing you cannot do.
4 (2h 24m 29s):
And I hope, I hope. I really hope that comes off. You know? And as a hypnotist, that's a very important thing to internalize. You know, I talked about this guy, Navy seal. It's very interesting. Cause he, I can't say his name obviously for the same reason why couldn't post the video of him online, but maybe I'll show you Lori, a video of her interaction because I do have it. I do have it saved, not the one that I'm going to mention, but I hypnotize them twice. The first time around he booked a mentalism show, a virtual mentalism show, virtual mind reading show.
4 (2h 25m 10s):
Super fun. Super cool. And then towards the end, I just said, would you like to be hypnotized? And I hypnotize them and we did some crazy stuff, which Laurie
3 (2h 25m 24s):
We'll see. But then after that he wanted to book exclusively a hypnosis show just for him like just hypnotic phenomena, not therapy, just hypnotic phenomenon. And we did everything. We did the Nisha. We did the changing, the name, host nations. I hypnotized him to made him believe that whatever number I gave, the suggestion that whatever number I write down in his piece of paper is going to be your bank pink code. You're not going to believe how I was able to read your mind and you know, opens his eyes, wants you to be awake. I go, would you like to do some? Mentalism just, you know, fun is.
3 (2h 26m 6s):
Yeah. Cool. Yeah, man. I love that stuff and go cool. Think of your bank. Pink code. Is there any way anybody can know this and he goes, no, absolutely not. No one. And he go think, think of the numbers. Think of the second one. Think of the third one. Okay. I've committed. You're not going to believe this. You're not going to believe this is this your Pinker. He loses.
5 (2h 26m 25s):
I have no idea what his fingers. It loses it. Oh my God,
3 (2h 26m 31s):
How'd you get that information, right? Because he's in a trance. He's this is the hypnotic suggestion. And then I take the piece of paper and I tear and I'm like, don't worry, your secrets are safe with me. And I tear it to
5 (2h 26m 42s):
Bits. I never removed that
3 (2h 26m 44s):
Suggestion. So he's convinced that I actually guessed,
5 (2h 26m 47s):
Oh my gosh, I love it. Yeah.
3 (2h 26m 49s):
So we did that. We did that. We actually did some mentalism and then we kept doing more suggestions. My head became invisible. He could only see from the neck down and the camera was here. So the background was the books. He's like, I only see the books,
5 (2h 27m 5s):
You know, it was
3 (2h 27m 6s):
So fun and it just kept pushing, you know, more and more w what we would say higher levels of hypnotic phenomena, right. That was a negative hallucination. Then I had the positive hallucination of him seeing a snake in place of his belt. Before we began, I had him, I asked him, do you have a belt on? And he goes, no. I said, go grab one. Think about the sub communication. There's something's going to happen with this belt. Right? Like, go grab one. I'm going to show you something crazy with it. And I go, just throw it on the floor somewhere next to you kind of already looks like a snake, funny enough.
3 (2h 27m 48s):
And then we just go through the whole process and whatever. And then towards the end, somewhere towards the end, having closed his eyes. And I give a double suggestion. I suggest that when he opens his eyes and the kind of three, and he looks to the floor, he will see us snake, a living, moving snake will have taken place of the belt on the floor. But also the world's strongest superglue. Hasn't stuck to the chair that he's on. So imagine he can't go anywhere. I don't him to go anywhere. I have to keep my eyes on him and you know, the camera's fixed. So, plus that's just so much more fun.
3 (2h 28m 29s):
So then, you know, I say one, two, three a week and I go, it's amazing. Right? How relaxing that is. Yeah. I hear something with, what is that in your room? And he looks down and he freaks out. He loses it. He grabs onto the chair. And like, he starts like pushing himself up, but he can't. And he's like looking at it and freaking out and hyperventilating, like we did crazy stuff. Like I had him like freezing cold and he was shivering like this.
3 (2h 29m 9s):
And then instantly in a snap of a finger, he was in the most screw shooting heats in the middle of the Sahara desert. He went from this to this.
1 (2h 29m 20s):
Oh my goodness.
3 (2h 29m 20s):
And then not being able to take off his clothes. Wow. Like crazy stuff. And then after, after the snake, you know, back to sleep back under, and then on the count of three, the glue has vanished. You can freely move. The snake is no longer there and its place is your belt. And even when I did that and I have, I have him wake up again, he still was afraid of touching the belt because he was afraid it would transform into this.
1 (2h 29m 57s):
3 (2h 29m 57s):
Then it's like bizarre. And then I told him, it's safe. Don't worry. The snake is gone. And then that was a suggestion. He grabbed it, he picked it up. And then I made the belt and anchor that whenever he wears his belt, you will feel unstoppable and capable of doing anything that he used to feel afraid of doing. So this is like his superhero Cape. Right. Which was amazing. And he reported back that that actually worked. Yeah. And, and it's just, I just, I just do it, you know, and that's, that's the thing. Just do it believe it's going to work and it will work as long as you follow the PR the process.
3 (2h 30m 43s):
1 (2h 30m 44s):
Do you think there's a part of you? Like, I almost can set that little, that five-year-old magician and that 11 year old mentalist is still in there underneath letting you believe in magic.
3 (2h 30m 59s):
Absolutely. You know, I think, I think if we need to find, wonder in our lives, we need to find the magic and if we can find it created, you know, it's all around you, it's all around you. The only reason why we don't see it or feel it is because we're not looking close, you know, just think about plants and how a flower blooms and how food grows under the soil, how people are born. Like that's amazing babies, like wow, life period, all the things that have to go right.
3 (2h 31m 44s):
For us to exist. Yeah. It, everything is magical. And yeah, I mean, I find, I find that in everything, but I do absolutely that other kind of magic, that surreal kind of wonder and all I get it from all of this, you know, and I think it's important. I think it's very important to keep the magic alive inside of us to be in awe at the miracle. That is the mind that is life and all that we can achieve and become.
3 (2h 32m 24s):
And do you know? It is, it is amazing. It is amazing. And it, it never ceases to amaze me. And I, I hope it never does to you either. You know, I think we should always remember that. We should always, always think about the miracles that have taken place in our own lives that have taken place in the lives of the people who we've helped our clients. Right. You know, here's a tip. If you ever feel down, if you ever doubt yourself and your abilities and you have testimonials written or on video, sit down and watch them sit down and read them out loud. When you read them, feel the feelings and angry those feelings to something, maybe a fragrance or a tactile anchor, anchor it, you know, when you really feel it at its peak, anchor it.
3 (2h 33m 20s):
And then whenever you need that feeling, each fire, the anchor, and then you're going to remember all of those beautiful faces, smiling and thanking you for the change that you made possible in their lives. And I think that is enough magic to like that's enough fuel. I think that's, you know? Yeah. And, and that's it, you know, remember that. Yeah.
1 (2h 33m 42s):
That's what keeps me going so often is thinking, you know, I'm thinking about a really difficult launch I'm about to do, or some protocol I'm developing. I'm actually doing just finished one this weekend. And when it comes, you know, when you're doing the really hard stuff, the money is not a strong enough motivator. But when I think about the emails that I've gotten, or the people that I've connected with from my previous life who are now watching me as a hypnotist and I've touched them and they've changed their lives by listening to my stuff, it's, it's all worth it. And like you said, you just change one life
3 (2h 34m 18s):
And it's all worth it. That's it, that's it. So if you have one testimonial,
2 (2h 34m 23s):
Oh, you need, and if you don't have one, get one.
3 (2h 34m 28s):
And by the way, I have a system for getting video testimonials. If you guys want to look into that, there, there are two programs, two websites that can help you with that. Number one is video, ask.com, video, ask.com and the other one, let me fetch it for you because I vaguely remember. I have like a photographic memory of how it looked. Yes, that's it. I was right. Just wanted to confirm it's dub.com. D U B B B as in boy, D U B B.
3 (2h 35m 11s):
Yeah. Dot com the notes. Yes. dub.com is a video ask. Alternative is actually better, more affordable and has more features. But yeah, it's, it's an amazing system where you can ask for testimonials on video for your clients. And that's important due to, you know, mirroring and pacing and leading and all that stuff. If you show them that it's okay to be on camera, they'll feel okay to be on camera. So you can ask them the questions. And I have a specific set of questions that I ask, because I want the answers to convert, to sales, right.
3 (2h 35m 53s):
And to sell the service for me. I don't want to talk in front of a camera and handle the objections that prospects have. I want my clients to handle the objections for me. Okay. So people answer questions. Like what would you say to someone that is on the fence about booking a session so that they can take inspired action, you know, and you can, pre-frame that question with a couple of things, but when you ask that kind of question, they're going to say what they went through, what was their thinking process?
3 (2h 36m 34s):
You know, I, I felt this way and I realized I just had to take a leap of faith and yeah. Whatever they're going to handle it from their point of view. And that's, whatever your clients can say, it's always going to be more effective than what you can say. Right. So it's very important to have a system like that in place. I didn't plan on saying that, but that's very important.
2 (2h 36m 54s):
Very, very important video testimonials.
3 (2h 36m 58s):
Phenomenal. Thank you. Thank you so much. Yeah. Yeah. So these things are really, really significant. It's important that we do them from the right frame of mind, right? What's your internal dialogue. When you do those things, what are you focused on? My focus is it's their story. People care about stories. The story they care about is not yours.
6 (2h 37m 22s):
3 (2h 37m 22s):
Know? So if you make your focus about, for example, when you reach out for a testimonial, you ask something like, Hey Jennifer, are you willing to share your story? Do you have two minutes to share your story? My goodness. If you've had a transformation where you had depression, now you don't, why would you not? When you know that there are people that felt the same way you did, because you know, and you know, you could also say that. I believe that when people hear your story, they're going to be inspired and realize that they can have the same change that you have experienced in your life.
6 (2h 38m 2s):
3 (2h 38m 3s):
That's what it's about. Give people a stage, let them share their story, their success story, their triumph, let them brag. And that's going to not only benefit your business and the image of your business, but it's making everything client focused. It's about them. It's about their success. It's about their story, their transformation. And if that's how you look at it, if that's what's important to you, that should come through in everything that you put out. I wonder to try something with you. Actually, if, if you're willing, if you're ready and willing, here's what I want you to do, Lori, from the perspective of a smoker, I want you to think about, and of course, you know, what are the limitations that hold people back from quitting smoking and what they can get from quitting smoking.
3 (2h 38m 55s):
Right. Right. I want you to think about what the limits are, what are the things they tell themselves? Yeah. So frame it for me, linguistically, what goes on in your mind as a smoker that keeps you in the smoking habit.
1 (2h 39m 11s):
I, I physically need this and I get so much out of the connection with my friends when we're all standing outside and smoking, I wake up in the morning and the first thing I want is that cigarette. I don't know how I'd make it through the day without it.
3 (2h 39m 27s):
Good. So the presupposition there, right, is that you needed to make, get through the day, you need a cigarette to make it through the day. And also you are, you're acting from a belief of this is producing this feeling of comfort, right? That I can't feel this good feeling without the cigarette that I depend on the cigarette. So then what would, and at this point, if we were in a consultation, you would have already talked about the beliefs and already have abolished them. So I would then tell you, well, is any of that true? And you would say no, because I know number one, I can quit smoking.
3 (2h 40m 11s):
Number two, it is not an addiction. It is a habit. And number three, it is doing nothing for me. And so what I would then say is, and if you were to quit, what would that do for you? How would you feel if you no longer dependent or relied on a cigarettes? What would your answer be for that?
1 (2h 40m 29s):
I would wake up in the morning and just be able to have my coffee without having to go stand in the freezing cold and shiver. While I smoke, I would be able to sit at the table until the check came and not have to get up and smoke. As soon as I'm done with my main course, I wouldn't stink anymore.
3 (2h 40m 49s):
And when you're able to do those things, without having to worry about those other things, what feeling would that evoke in you?
1 (2h 40m 57s):
I think it would give me a feeling of pride and accomplishment, and I would know that I can do it. And if I can do this, I can do anything.
3 (2h 41m 7s):
Let's listen carefully pride accomplishment. And if I can do this, I can do anything that's feeling empowered. Right. So you would feel empowered, you feel accomplished and you would feel proud and I would dig deeper, I would say. And if you feel proud and you feel accomplished and you feel like you can do anything, would that do for you? What does that mean?
1 (2h 41m 29s):
It would let me know that I'm okay. I would feel okay. And just as myself as me.
3 (2h 41m 35s):
Wonderful. So then I know what her core values are. I know that for her, her group blueprint, for being happy and feeling okay, and feeling good is feeling proud, knowing that she can do anything right. Having that freedom, right. No longer confined to this nasty substance. So then for example, if enduring in the induction process, and I tend to use the Swan as an induction, I might say something like this. So Lori extend your handout in front of you about six inches from your face, pum away from you, forearm towards the ceiling, just like that. Perfect. And then when you let your hand go link from the wrist up and focus on a spot in the back of your hand, where your eyes can rest comfortably.
3 (2h 42m 22s):
And now Lori is going to experience something really interesting because she will be both experiencing this and also seeing what I'm doing, linguistically, which is quite an interesting dynamic. So keep your eyes rested in that spot right now, take a deep breath in And relax. As you keep focusing on that spot right now, you can hear the sound of my voice and we can distract your conscious mind with the sound of my voice and that spot right there while your subconscious mind responds. Here's the thing, Lori, just as quickly as you are ready and willing to free yourself from this bad habit and experienced a freedom and pride, knowing that you're okay, knowing that you're no longer bound by that substance, your subconscious mind will make that hand turn towards your face.
3 (2h 43m 20s):
Now Just as quickly. That's right. And it will begin now coming closer and closer to your face as it drawn by a magnetic force. And the moment that hand touches your face, your eyes would close. They have will drift to your lap and you will enter a trance that's right, stronger and stronger and relax, drifting, sinking, floating. I'm going to count up from one to three. Your eyes would be open fully alert. One deep breath in head clearing throat clear and chest clearing, fully alert to three awake. Now. Good. So what I did there is I said, just as quickly as your subconscious mind is ready and willing to free you from inserts, unwanted feelings and give you insert, wanted emotion, insert the value.
3 (2h 44m 18s):
Your subconscious mind will. There's no doubt will turn the hand towards your face. And it's interesting because Laurie is not as smoker. They stole words.
1 (2h 44m 29s):
Well, I was, I was substituting a real thing in there and I edit it out and it's so it was really cool. I loved this one and anyone who has not tried it, you, this is an amazing induction. And it's amazing on zoom. If you can see the hand even better on zoom almost than you can in person.
3 (2h 44m 48s):
Absolutely. Absolutely. So what I do is I take note of the values of what it is that they want. So now all their energy, every fiber in their being wants this to happen because this is what matters most to them. This is their core value, right? And so that's why this is important. And I don't use any scripts because I use the answers that people give me, what are their obstacles? What, what stands in their way, what they want to develop the, the hypnotic language as I go. And this is a good example of that. So this is why we need to figure out what are people's values and what are our own.
3 (2h 45m 31s):
That way we can help ourselves and help them get what they want. So I want to, before we conclude here and answer the question, pressing question of what is the richest place on earth, which I know you all want to know. I want to do something here for Lori. Content-free with an induction that I created and it's completely silent, which is really interesting just to show you, if you watch the video and I do urge you to watch the video playback. If you're listening to the audio right now, mainly because you can get a lot more information from looking at our faces and hand gestures and all that, but this kind of thing you do want to see, not just here.
3 (2h 46m 19s):
So if you want to jump over to the video, now, it'd be a great time for that. So, Laurie, this is very interesting. Now I want you to think of something where you have some kind of resistance, some sort of roadblock, some sort of limiting belief, a voice, something you want to get rid of. Can you think of something like that? I can. Okay, good. So give me just one second here To moisturize my vocal chords.
8 (2h 46m 56s):
3 (2h 46m 58s):
Now, have you ever felt a thought, Laurie? Yes. You have good. Now I'm going to give you a gift by the end of this, she will have a gift, but before that I'd like you to do something for me. In order for you to accept this gift, I'd like you to place your hand on your heart, close your eyes and say, I am ready and willing to have this experience.
8 (2h 47m 30s):
I am ready and willing to have this experience. Good.
3 (2h 47m 36s):
Open your eyes. You can take your hand away from your chest. Good. Now here's what I'm going to do is going to be very, very interesting, very new for you. And I'd like you to engage your imagination. I want you to imagine that I'm going to send you a kind of orb, an energy field through the screen. That's going to land on your eyes and make them feel so heavy and so relaxed that you simply will not resist. You simply will just close them and go into a deep trance. And the way that I want you to do this is I don't want you to look at me. I want you to look dead at the camera, fix your eyes on the camera.
3 (2h 48m 16s):
Not at me on the camera, keep your eyes there and take a deep breath
8 (2h 48m 23s):
And just imagine. And at some point,
3 (2h 48m 28s):
Just notice what you feel.
8 (2h 48m 57s):
That's it. And relax.
3 (2h 49m 3s):
Take a deep breath in for me.
4 (2h 49m 14s):
Just get in touch with deepest parts of your subconscious mind.
8 (2h 49m 19s):
4 (2h 49m 25s):
Just how you become increasingly aware of what's happening inside you and your attention goes inward. Of course, you're familiar with a feeling of being in a trance. So you know exactly what that's like. And for those watching, and even for you, Laurie, right now, you can learn a powerful lesson. And that is that you can create your own inductions, that you can try new things that you can explore and ask yourself what if it works and be pleasantly surprised that it just might.
4 (2h 50m 7s):
So right now, I want you to think of the voice of someone you love. I want you to hear the voice of someone you love telling you that they love you. And you can hear that voice as a normal thought in your mind, correct? Good with your eyes closed. Now I'm going to do something. Notice this I'm going to do something from all the way over here. That would change the way your thoughts feel. I want you to now hear the voice of that person saying they love you.
4 (2h 50m 52s):
And notice it starts to take shape in a way it never has. Before it starts to shake, take a form texture that's right. Pay attention to where you can feel that thought inside your head and point with your finger, where that is. That's good. Good. You feel the thought coming from your chest. Now you will notice that it is coming from your chest and moving up through you and you can also feel it in your head now.
4 (2h 51m 34s):
Yes. Can you point where that is? Right? They're good. It's an all encompassing love that consumes you Take a deep breath for me and open your eyes. I'll be honest. You're not making that up. You actually felt where the thought was. Yes, yes. I could feel it like swirling
1 (2h 52m 8s):
And then moving up and radiating. That was really, yeah.
3 (2h 52m 11s):
And then it took, it took, it made a little home right here. Yes. Yeah. Good. And what did it feel like? It was, it was like a hard solid thought. Yes. That was just traveling. Or was it soft?
1 (2h 52m 23s):
It was, it was almost like a pressure, but a gentle pressure, like a filling of the space with, with love.
3 (2h 52m 30s):
Amazing. That's beautiful. And you know, people might figure it. You're making that up. You felt it. No, no. You actually felt the thought. It wasn't just like, Oh, I can hear the voice in my head like before, but there really was a transition where you actually felt the thought traveling inside you moving inside you. Yes. But I want you to close your eyes again. And here's the interesting part. Different thoughts live in different places, have different qualities, different textures, different temperatures. So right now, when you think of the face of someone that you love, that's right. As if smile inevitably deloads on your face and you start to feel it now becoming soft in your mind.
3 (2h 53m 21s):
And this time it's actually in one place, very strong. You can really feel where that is now. And just point with your finger now where this other thought is, look at that. How curious it is not where the other one was, this one's in the front of your mind, how fascinating you can open your eyes. And you literally felt that one. Yes,
1 (2h 53m 48s):
My little grand baby. I can't look at her and not just like I can it bubbles up.
3 (2h 53m 55s):
Amazing. Amazing. Now here's the, here's the really interesting part. Different thoughts live in different places, but they're our thoughts. The ones that hold us back, the limiting thoughts to limiting beliefs, the voices that when you try and look for them, they're really hard to find. They love to play, hide and seek. So I'm going to give you a gift. So close your eyes now. And I want you to find, find that limiting thought that negative thought and notice there are different focus in that thought that has a significant impact on your life.
3 (2h 54m 35s):
The things that you want to do, what are the things that you've been doing that intrusive thought I can tell you already, you can feel that thought in the back of your head, right? How interesting is that in the back of your head? You really can say yes. If that's where it is. Yes. Yeah. So people will know you're not making this up and you will physically feel that thought, moving through your head, like a heat that's right to the front of your head. You're gonna feel it moving
4 (2h 55m 4s):
Now, traveling through your head all the way to the front of your head. That's right in the moment you feel it in the front of your head, just place your finger on it. Place your finger on that place, where that thought lives. Now keep your fingers there. You can almost feel the heat, almost like a pain, like a genuine pain. Yes. You can feel a genuine pain where that thought is, it's almost like it's going to burn your fingers. It's right there. It's very uncomfortable. You see? And so it gets hotter and hotter and more and more disturbing because negative thoughts love to fight back. When they know you're going to get rid of them, they love to fight back and you can feel that pain, but you see I'm going to give you a gift because right now it stops.
4 (2h 55m 49s):
All you have to do is decide to make that thought, go away, to decide, to let it go. And so right now, we to take that hand and now hold it, notice how the thoughts sticks to your fingers. And as you bring that hand in front of you, you can no longer feel it on your head. Isn't that right? Open your eyes and look at the tip of those fingers. And notice, now that all you have to do is decide to let it go. And so here's my gift to you say the word Abra, Cadabra, abracadabra, blow on those fingers and imagine it just floating with the wind and notice.
4 (2h 56m 38s):
Now, when you look at those fingers, the thought is not there anymore, and it's not in your mind either. And now when you try and think about that, you simply cannot feel it. It does not disturb you. It does not affect you. And it no longer will genuinely do not pretend to not play along. What are you feeling right now?
1 (2h 57m 1s):
I just feel that that joy that I felt with when I thought of my little grand baby
4 (2h 57m 9s):
And that intrusive thought is no longer there. It's not. How interesting is that? And how interesting too, is it that at the beginning I said nothing. And your eyes just started flickering. And
1 (2h 57m 22s):
Can you describe that? That was really cool because I, like, I noticed a slight flicker at first and I kept thinking, well, when, when is this going to happen? And then I realized like I have to close. That was trippy amazing. Isn't it? Yeah.
4 (2h 57m 43s):
That is an example of what happens when you ask yourself, what if right now, whatever that intrusive thought was, it is gone and I'm not sure what that was, but it will no longer affect you. And I can you that you will no longer disturb you. And for those that are listening, I want to ask you this. Have you had enough of your old way of thinking? Do you realize that change must happen now? Do you realize you are what needs to change before your life changes?
4 (2h 58m 28s):
Do you realize that you'll never be ready? Do you realize that all you have to do is start. I know that all of you listening, who have been paying attention have answered yes. To all of those questions. And so now it's time for me to give you the answer to the question that has been pressing in your mind and really bugging you like a giant mosquito. And that is what is the richest place on earth. And so I leave you with this motivational speaker named Les Brown, perhaps, you know him, he was asked this question, and this was his answer.
4 (2h 59m 12s):
He said, the graveyard is the richest place on earth because it is there that you will find all the hopes and dreams that were never fulfilled. The books that were never written, the songs that were never sung the inventions that would never share the cures that were never discovered all because someone was too afraid to take that first step, keep with the problem or to carry out their dream and quote. And so what stood in the way of all the people that died without tapping into their fullest potential that's right.
4 (2h 59m 52s):
Fear the voice inside. And I want you to give yourself permission to no longer let fear hold you back to turn it on itself. Turn it in on itself. Fear, fear, and fear will no longer hold you back from now. One, you will find yourself easily doing the things that were difficult before, because you will always remember why you're doing it in the first place.
0 (3h 0m 20s):
I'm so grateful. You've listened all the way to the end. What is one tiny action step you'll take now based on an aha moment you got during the podcast, maybe that life changing action step is to come accept the gift I have for [email protected] Head there right now to get your powerful, hypnosis audio, the answer room that lets you make important decisions and get crystal clear about your next step forward on this path of purpose in your one. Great and precious life.