Links from this episode
The Answer Room Audio: http://theimpostermonster.com/
Derry Cooke's website: www.hypnosisworks.co.nz
Steve Roehm www.steveroehm.com
Arrow Technique www.jacquinhypnosisacademy.com
Fred Talk with Derry Cooke www.youtube.com/watch?v=amttYUJngIk
Joseph Heller "Hellerwork" www.hellerwork.com
Jason Linett www.worksmarthypnosis.com
If you were haunted and harassed by your own inner critic, if you've ever been curious about why hypnosis works so well, if you're a seasoned hypnotist, or if you suspect that the inner critic is actually hypnotizing you to hold back from reaching the greatness that you know, deep down is inside you, lean in and get inspired to get out of your comfort zone and create your one precious life with purpose and intention. If you like this show, you'll love my powerful hypnosis audio, the answer room, because it gives you crystal clear guidance and direction and illuminates an ingenious way to make triumphant decisions.
No matter how stuck you feel or how confused you were. This powerful hypnosis audio is my gift to you. When you go to the imposter monster.com again, that's the imposter monster.com. Don't forget the, the, the imposter monster.com. And yes, I'm done saying it. Thank you. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart for listening. I'm Lori Hammond and I'm truly grateful for you. Welcome everyone. Thank you so much for being here today. You are absolutely going to love today's conversation with dairy cook. I first discovered dairy through Freddy Jacquelyn when he did, I think it was Freddy's very first Fred talk and he delivered so much value and made me feel so excited about helping people in a more profound way.
0 (1m 41s):
And since that time dairy and I have talked a little bit, I've seen some of the amazing videos that he is making on Facebook right now. And I asked him if he would be a guest. Thank you so much for being here today, dairy.
1 (1m 53s):
Oh, you're very welcome, Lori. It's great to be here. And I'm really looking forward to this conversation.
0 (1m 59s):
You will you tell myself in the audience a little bit about what you do, what brought you here and anything else you want us to know about your work?
1 (2m 10s):
What I do well on the left therapist, I struggle sometimes with that label, but I switch around between calling myself a therapist, a change agent, I'd say probably I'll call myself. I have a therapist. And what I do is essentially I help people get from where they are to where they want to be. And usually that is about helping people move from a place where they feel that they're stuck. And I have some perspectives about what it is that's sticking them there and how I can help them move from that place to a place where there's more possibility.
1 (2m 58s):
So that's kind of what I do when I talk about people I work with I'm the youngest I've successfully worked with as a five-year old. Currently my oldest client is age 85. I have worked with somebody 87. Hadn't quite had the nineties yet, but bell happened, men, women, all kinds of presenting issues. I think it's very tempting sometimes to fall into the trap of getting hung up on the labels that people present with when they come and in fact, most of my clients.
1 (3m 38s):
And could I be so bold as to suggest most of the clients that any of us see, they're all coming with essentially the same issue and the issue might express in different ways. But the issue is essentially there is an automatic part of me, which is keeping me stuck in this place. That's not helping. And I have some goals, which the automatic part of me isn't supporting. And that's what all of my clients have in common. They are wanting to move toward their goals from their place. So, yeah, and that's not even a nutshell at a, at a bag of nutshells.
1 (4m 20s):
That's kind of what I do.
2 (4m 23s):
I love it. How long have you been doing hypnosis? I usually don't ask people that question because I'm not sure. I think that people can get, get great at this really quickly, but I'm, I'm curious for my own gratification.
1 (4m 37s):
Okay. There's two ways to answer that question. I started in gnosis was a, a self-hypnosis book that I stole from my dad when he was still does, he was having trouble with sleepwalking. Somebody recommended he try self of Moses. He bought this book him, I stole it and fell in love with self-hypnosis. I was experimenting with pendulums and things. This was at the age of I'm guessing maybe nine or 10 years old. I was staggered to discover that there seemed to be an intelligence inside me.
1 (5m 19s):
That was separate from who I thought I was, and that I could engage this intelligence and meaningful conversation. So I've been playing with hypnosis for what is it, half a century. Now, how long have I been hypnotizing other people believe it or not, the very first time that I ever had monetized anybody was 2015 when I did my very first training. And that was a six day residential training. I soon discovered that I seem to be pretty good at it, and I certainly fell in love with it.
1 (5m 59s):
And so decided that, yeah, I definitely wanted to take my career in this direction. Prior to that, I had been a registered nurse specializing in emergency nursing, but I've also done a number of years and stroke rehabilitation a lot of time with care of the elderly. So I've got a lot of, a lot of the schools that I currently use in my practice. I've honed over a number of years and side of nursing, which can be very, very much about that deep engagement with people and helping them with their ships, which are always physical issues.
1 (6m 45s):
I can very much be emotionally based issues as well.
2 (6m 50s):
That makes a lot of sense. Can you take yourself back to that first time in 2015, when you hypnotized the first person and maybe unpack what was going on in your mind, were you nervous? Were you excited? What was that like?
1 (7m 8s):
The training that I did broke things down into absolute basics and very rightly focused on language. And so the very first, the very first practice run inside of the class. We would give them a bunch of words and told them these are ways of, of connecting things together. And they were things like words, like every time and whenever, and which means. And, and, and then we were told to just take a hypnotic theme, like comfort and just talk to the person and, and, and use, you know, generate a stream of language like that.
1 (7m 59s):
So I got my, my partner, I got him to close his eyes and said, and as you close your eyes, you can notice that you're starting to feel good, which means that, and just started adding in concepts like that. And I found that it flowed very easily from there. It was simply a matter of adding in different skill sets to, to get that hypnotic voice, I guess. And I don't mean tone of voice Hiram. I am not the guy who goes, you are now floating into a deep sleep. That's, that's totally not me.
1 (8m 40s):
My voice can get a little croaky at times and I didn't need to stay hydrated, but no, it's simply just about finding that part within yourself. That's, I'm able to be that in a test to take the responsibility for guiding the process. Does that make sense?
2 (9m 6s):
It makes total sense. I love that answer. And even as you, when you first said, and as you close your eyes, I could, it's like, I could almost feel myself going into that place because you do have a very hypnotic, just your, the way you speak. I think you have such a genuine tone of voice and it comes across in everything you say. So if I ask you any questions during this podcast that you want me to edit out later, just let me know. But I'm really curious where you did your first tip gnosis training.
1 (9m 39s):
I flew to Sydney and I trained with my F my first teacher was Steve Rayme, who was teaching the process as outlined or prescribed. However you call it, the curriculum was Igor Ledochowski is professional. I'm going to get this wrong professional, conversational hypnotherapy program. I think that's it. 2.0, yeah. And I, I started out being very equal, would probably say that he was a Neo Ericksonian, certainly a big fan of the indirect approach.
1 (10m 21s):
And I started out being an absolute true believer in that, and that, that was better than everything else. I broadened my pallets since then. And I would say that at times I use indirect language at times I use direct language, but yeah, that was it. There was the Eagle little Husky approach. We learned a bunch of techniques in there and some of them have, they have stood me in very good stints. Still use them to the staff.
2 (10m 54s):
I love that. Yes, Steve is spectacular. I know him well, and he does amazing work,
1 (10m 60s):
Incredible voice to talk about. I have not voiced Steve Raymond it's like that. Boom.
2 (11m 7s):
Yes. I love that. Okay. It makes sense then. So one thing that you said is that you, you started off with the Neo Ericksonian approach and you've broadened since then. And I really want people who are listening to catch on to that and realize that even though dairy didn't have all the tools that he has now, when he started, he was still able to get started with what he had and start making a difference. And I would imagine dairy that you're always learning and always adding to that toolbox. Are you not?
1 (11m 40s):
Absolutely. I think though, they, the whole idea of a toolbox is, well, let's take the metaphor of a toolbox. If you can't add into your toolbox, eventually you'll get so many tools in there. It makes it harder on how to define the right one. Does that make sense and something my favorite process to use it's no secret is Freddie Jacqueline's error technique that forms the that's the bedrock. I can go into a little bit of detail if feel like about why I favored that.
1 (12m 23s):
But I found that I discovered very early on kind of by accident that just that one technique, which is supposedly a technique for helping people with chronic pain. And it is fantastic for that. I found that that applies to any kind of change work. And so it's less important to have this massive repertoire of, of tubes. Then it has to understand how to actually use a good tool and then use it effective and how to apply it to a variety of variety of presenting clients of variety, of the same thing, issues that they want to work with.
2 (13m 8s):
I agree, 100%. I think they're just about any tool if, if you use it and love it, and especially if you've experienced it and it really resonates for you, you can use it for most. Any, any presenting situation will, will you speak a little bit more in depth about how you use it in and maybe give a couple of examples of, of unique situations where you've used it?
1 (13m 33s):
Why don't I tell you a little story about how I, how I learned the errant technique. I had heard about this for a while. I'd heard tell of this mysterious technique that could make the uncle's pain disappear. And, you know, as a nurse previously, the only way I knew to make science pain disappear was to stick an IB under their arm and then give them a shot of morphine. And I could tell you a nice little story about that later, but I, I heard about this technique and I was amazed to see the very first teaser posts on Facebook that, you know, coming soon, the arrow technique, I've got to learn this.
1 (14m 17s):
I managed to go onto their website while they were testing the mobile phone version of it managed to pay for a pen, download it before they had actually released it. And for some reason, I wasn't able to get the videos. And then for some reason was it hadn't actually been released, but I got the text and I read through all the texts, I thought, okay, I can see where this is going. Needless to say, when the videos were released, I poured over them. And I was like, okay, this, this looks really, really good. I need to practice this. Now I have a event coming up where I booked a stall at a, I think it was called the body mind spirit expo.
1 (15m 3s):
And it was just, I had a little store there and people wandering around, checking out things like crystals and tarot cards and clairvoyants, and you know, every now and again, people would want to pass my school and I would grab them and say, if had been hypnotized, no. Would you like to be? I wasn't charging anything for what I was doing. All I wanted to do was practice on unsuspecting members of the public. So I would just ask them, do you have a particular issue that you'd like to work through and then say, yep. And I'd say, okay. And I would run the era with them. And I found that this thing, which was supposedly just for pain relief, I mean, out of everyone that I saw on those two days, I maybe saw 40 or 50 people.
1 (15m 51s):
I think maybe only four of them with the pain relief had spectacular results with them. But I also had somebody quit smoking. I had somebody in anything that you might imagine seeing in the course of a, in the course of a hypnotic prick, I have gnosis practice. I had people with those issues and they were all getting results. And so that got me thinking, well, what's actually going on here. I've, I've been inquiring into the whole, you know, I want to peek behind the curtain. I want to know what's actually going on when we do gnosis I don't know that I ever will know, but I've got some fairly good working ideas.
1 (16m 37s):
So yeah, I've I found that the error was working for this wide variety of things. One of the more spectacular things that happened on that first weekend was a woman who took a long time to approach me and then asked whether I could possibly help her with her issues and her issue involved, having been literally kidnapped and literally gang right over her and a friend were kidnapped and gang raped over three days by a literal gang, you know, like drug dealing, hardcore gang of guys. And she was totally traumatized by that experience, as you would expect.
1 (17m 19s):
And I ran the arrow with her 10 minutes later, the sense of trauma was gone and she actually came to me the following year. She went into that same event, only in the hope that she would see me there so that she could come up and tell me how her life had transformed from that one moment. And that blew my mind. It's just amazing that, you know, anyone who would be looking at her would be thinking, okay, she's got PTSD, she's traumatized. She's going to need years of counseling. No, I'm not saying that every issue can be resolved in a single session.
1 (18m 1s):
I used to think that I don't anymore, but I am saying that I don't place any limits on what people can achieve in a single session. And yeah, I've, I saw so many amazing results that weekend that made me realize that it's important to look at the commonality. So it's important to look at what's actually going on inside of the change process rather than focusing on, Oh, this person has that kind of issue. Therefore veiny this technique. And yeah, I don't think that's accurate,
2 (18m 42s):
Right. Can for people who are listening, who have these tools, but have been kind of scared to try them. Can you talk to me about your attitude underneath the idea that you were just going to go set up and say, Hey, do you want to, do you want to try this out? It's almost to me, I hear, I hear this almost. Let's see kind of attitude where you weren't making them huge promises. You were just saying, Hey, let's, let's see what happens is that accurate? And what else can you tell me about the mindset that let you have a willingness to go through and do that thing that might be so scary for people
1 (19m 21s):
Coming back to the, the approach that I picked up in my very first training, the most valuable, and they didn't say this in the training. The most important thing that you will learn in this training is knowing evils realm. They call it page plus age plus means the idea that you are absolutely going to help somebody change because you value them so deeply. So yes, this is going to happen because I absolutely want you to make this change happen. Now you could perhaps call that rapport.
1 (20m 3s):
You could perhaps call that intent. Freddie has, has own Freddie. Jacqueline has his own process where he says, whenever he's working with somebody who has a little loop playing in his mind, somewhere in his mind, he is running this bit of self-diagnosis. I'm a great therapist. You're a fantastic client, you know, words to that effect. I'm very good at doing this. And you're an amazing client. And he just has that running. And at the same time, he has another loop play, which is, I really care about him and I want you to be well. And that is the essence.
1 (20m 45s):
That's the, that's the position that I come from. That's when I, whenever I'm working with somebody, whatever kind of a shitty day I might be having or whatever, the moment that they are in my care, I love them. I just absolutely love them. I want them to be in, well, their successes, my top priority, but there's another, there's another strand to the process that I think can be really, really helpful just to take on board as part of your mindset, which is that any results that you might witness your clients, creating their creation.
1 (21m 28s):
They're not your illness that takes the pressure off. It's like, I don't have to have this amazing level of expertise. I don't have to be so clever. I don't have to remember the language patterns. I don't have to do any of that stuff because that's not where the magic is. I firmly believe that the magic is absolutely embodied and the client, and then urology. Now the human brain is just the most beautiful, incredible complex potentiality. That's the most conflict structure that we know of in the universe.
1 (22m 10s):
And there are so many capabilities and there that we are only just starting to scratch the surface of that's where the magic happens. When my clients come to see me, I know, obviously they're human. Therefore they have a human brain. Therefore they have this capacity inside them. After all, they've managed to create the seemingly intractable problem that they are wanting assistance with. They're the ones who've built so they can unbuild it. They can create these amazing change processes. My role is simply to use my experience, my skillset and my confidence, because I am confident.
1 (22m 57s):
Not that I'm some sort of amazing, no guru. I'm confident only because I've seen people just like them make those kinds of changes. They haven't seen people just like they make those kinds of changes. So that's what I can give them. I can give them that confidence, like yeah. This thing, which you're absolutely suffering. Yeah. You're the third one I've seen like that this week, the other two people they're doing great. I expect your manager do great as well.
2 (23m 30s):
I love that. You just answered a question that was in the back of my mind, which is when someone comes in and they have their doubts. You know, I think sometimes I felt like this. When I started looking for a hypnotist, I felt like I was so broken. And my problem was so much bigger than everyone else's and was the special flower that the rule didn't apply to, that it wasn't going to work for me. And so I was going to ask what you would say to someone like that, but I feel like that simple couple sentences is just perfect.
1 (23m 58s):
Yeah. One of my favorite original signs, I don't have many, I love other people's quotes, but this is one of mine that I really loved. And it's that the results that you'll get don't care, whether you believe in the process or not the results don't care, whether you have confidence in the process or not, you know, we can, we can do this and the expectation or, you know, the price of admission. If you like is very low. All I need, all I ever need from my clients is two things. I need them to pay attention because without that, nothing other than that, all I need is for them to have decided at some level that they're going to do the best that they can.
1 (24m 43s):
That's it. If they can do those two things, then the outcome is more or less pre-ordained. Now I'm not saying I gave a hundred percent success with every money. I'm not far from that though. When people come to it with that approach, it's amazing how powerfully people can change.
2 (25m 7s):
Oh, I love this. This feels like a little bit of a jump, but what would you tell to it? What would you say to a client who maybe comes in and says, well, I'm not good at visualizing. How do you get them past that limiting belief?
1 (25m 22s):
I say fantastic. A lot of my clients of hopeless and visualizing I myself, I'm hopeless at visualize it on much more of an auditory guy. You can mention a piece of music to me, and if I've heard it before, start playing in my head and sometimes I have to kind of drown it out or switch it off. Somehow, sometimes I can't find the off switch on. I just have to kind of move the speakers far away so they don't get too intrusive. I'm not a great visualizer at all. And they don't have to be, but I have that game. I think I did that on the, I think it was the front talk.
1 (26m 2s):
I, I talked about this thing that I just, I just call it the imagination game or, and that's just where I hold my hand out and I liked to make things up on the fly. And I just said, can you see there's nothing in my hand. That's right. Could you imagine that sitting in my hand is a perfect Rose. Only this Rose is not the typical red Rose. This fries has got pitfalls of all different colors. Every different color on the rainbow has its own pedal and all those different chains.
1 (26m 42s):
And yet dancing in the middle of the row
3 (26m 46s):
Is a gorgeous little, tiny pink hedgehog. And this wearing a bowler hat. I'm just making that stuff up. My hand is still intact. And yet just taking somebody through that experience, people can imagine it and they can discover that they don't have to see those photo realistic thing. They can just do that because there is a part of the brain that knows what arises. There is another part of the brain that knows what the different colors are. It knows what a rainbow is. There's another part that knows what Pinker's, what a head chomp is.
3 (27m 25s):
Hopefully perhaps what a bottler has. And then they can just lock all those things together because that's what our brains do. How brains are all the time, making connections between things so that we can make sense out of the chaos of energy, which has just pouring into our systems through unnerving things. Yeah, I might do that.
2 (27m 50s):
I really liked that. That's actually one of the things I think of almost every time I see you. I remember that Fred talk, and I think you had a little guy in a tractor if I can't remember all of it, but every time I see you, I still think of that. And I don't consider myself a good visualizer, but you did such a great job. I can really see Steve Raymond Igor Ledochowski is influence in that because I used to start my sessions by having them close their eyes and describe their, a room in their house as if they were there. And you find that P everyone can do that. They, they know where the dresser is. They know what's sitting on the dresser. If they opened the drawer, they know what's inside. And so that shows that we have these mental constructs that are somehow accessing a visual modality.
2 (28m 36s):
Even if we don't realize we're doing it.
3 (28m 38s):
Yeah. For people who drive, you can just say, imagine you're sitting in your car right now. Just put your great chat and put your hands on, on where the steering wheel is on your car. And people do that saying that. Can you actually see the steering wheel? No. And yet, you know that it's there. You can. You've got a sense of exactly where it goes. Yeah. Virtualization is a wonderful thing. I've have clients, honestly, you're saying, imagine you're at the beach and they will tell you not only which page now tell me what the tide is doing, how many other people are on the beach, whether any of them are sunburned. You know, it's crazy. I'm not that I'm not that guy.
3 (29m 20s):
And most of my clients don't have that level of visual, internal, whatever. You might call it reconstruction, but it's not necessary.
2 (29m 36s):
I love this. I feel like you're just filling a lot of limiting beliefs right now. Okay. I've actually been furiously typing notes as you've been speaking. And I have several questions that I want to ask, but before I do, is there anything that you, that you were really feeling excited about sharing that you'd like to talk about before I take us down some random rabbit hole?
3 (29m 58s):
Well, funny, you should say that yesterday. I was reflecting on what we were going to be talking about. And this quote came to me from, it was from a previous teacher. I used to do body work a long time ago. I was trained and a discipline called Halloween. And I'm trying to, with the creative that Charles of Heller, and one day people were talking about not having enough confidence, whatever. And he said, this wonderful thing, self criticism is self-indulgence. And man, that was like a sledgehammer.
3 (30m 40s):
That one just hit me. He said, every moment that you are criticizing yourself, where is it comment in that? And he said, you can't afford the luxury of self-indulgence. You can't afford the luxury of self-criticism. You need to be there for your clients. So I, I guess I just get that from this idea of just letting myself focus completely on, on my clients and focus on what they want, focus on the outcome that they're after.
3 (31m 24s):
When I allow myself to do that, the self criticism is completely, it's not even in the conversation that mental chatter seems to disappear. Like, I guess this is somewhat similar to the idea of, you know, if people are depressed, one of the very best things that people can do, if they're depressed is to do some sort of selfless act of service for other people, as we focus on helping others, our own issues can seem a lot less relevant.
2 (32m 4s):
That's so beautiful. And you even said earlier, I, I typed this down, where did I put it? You talked about seeing them the way they want to be seeing them. Well, and you were talking about Freddie Jacquelyn's little mantra that he speaks when he's with the client. And I thought at that time, when we're really focusing on imagining the client at that, at that desired state, at the outcome, their desired outcome, all of a sudden, all of those scary thoughts of what if I say wrong words, just fall away.
3 (32m 42s):
Yeah. Beautiful people. Aren't fragile. You know, you can, you can say, you can lose into fluff your lines. You can say something, you start to say one word and halfway through your brain starts to say another word, and you can end up saying it doesn't matter. People are not fragile. We have resilience built into us. We have the capacity to correct for errors. So we don't need to be all or nothing. My God, wasn't a hundred percent perfect. Therefore I must be a hundred percent rubbish, whereas we can know that we're good enough.
3 (33m 25s):
Yes. But how we know that we got enough, isn't our own self-assessment. We need to absolutely check in with our clients. We need to test the work that we're doing and that's for our own growth and learning as practitioners. But it's also really, really valuable for the clients. You know, the great thing about working with people with pain is that they know damn well that they are in pain. And I know damn well when they're out of it. So it's very easy for, you know, to ask those people on a scale from naught to 10, how much pain do you have 10 being the worst. And they can come up with a number after any prognosis session.
3 (34m 7s):
I always ask people on a scale from not to 10, whereas the other should now. And that is a way of just absolutely clarifying for them, that they somehow have managed to resolve that issue for themselves. And then that reinforces the whole process. And that means that at that moment, they are suggesting to themselves how powerful they are. And I will always, you know, my, my three favorite words to say at the end of a session on your amazing Clair, that it's, it's all about the clients who are making these changes.
2 (34m 49s):
What did you say after aren't you amazing?
3 (34m 52s):
Aren't you clever,
2 (34m 54s):
Clever that's beautiful. Dairy. Talk to me a little bit more about testing. Is that as simple as just saying, starting with that subjective units of distress on a scale of one to 10 at the start, and then again at the end, or are there other ways you test and what would you say to a person who's afraid to test? Because they're afraid it hasn't worked.
3 (35m 15s):
If you're afraid of testing, get some MOSIS around that. And I totally relate the very first time I came across this idea of testing. I was so reluctant. I was so scared to test because what if I ask them and they say, no change. Well, that's amazing. But yeah, yeah, it is, it is scary. And it is sobering to ask those people. And I can remember the very first time that I ever used the heritage make when it didn't.
3 (35m 56s):
And I felt like I'd been knocked into a parallel universe. You know, I said to this person at the end of the session on a scale from not to 10, whereas they're paying, she said stole a tin. And this had never happened to me before. And this was probably about the, I don't know, maybe the 50th or 60th time that I had done it. And I was convinced that this technique was Bulletproof and invincible and nothing could stand, you know, that's why, and this thing just absolutely didn't work. And there's an interesting sequel to that story because I sent to the one, my look, I'm really sorry for that.
3 (36m 39s):
And I'm not suggesting other people do what I did, but my ethics don't let me, I don't, I don't feel that it's appropriate for me to charge people for my time. I feel it's appropriate for me to charge them for the results that we get. So she didn't get a result for me. That meant that the session was a teaching or was a learning session for me. She was my teacher in that moment, not my client. So I'm not going to, I'm not going to ask her to pay when she's kind enough to teach me. So I didn't charge her for that. But I said, could you please stay in contact with me? Because this is really interesting.
3 (37m 19s):
Now the issue that she had, the issue that she had come for was some deep pain in her joints. When I say deep pain, she was no longer able to work. She was, her pain was about eight out of 10, 10, and nine out of 10, depending on whether she was standing or sitting. And she was, she had had investigations. She had had CT scans, x-rays MRI scans, nothing showed anything. So I was absolutely convinced that he is, you know, have gnosis, that's going to sort this.
3 (37m 59s):
What happened after the session? What was eventually, she went back to her adopter who referred her back to the specialist who sent her for more scans. And these new scans showed that the bones, the ball and the ball and socket joint, the hip joints, both of those bones had started to die. So the pain she was getting when she saw me hadn't produced in a, it was caused by, it was what they call a bony angina. Now, when you have angina in your heart, it means your heart muscle
1 (38m 37s):
Is okay, but it's not getting enough oxygen supply. If it doesn't, if that deficit is severe enough, then the heart muscle actually dies. And then that's, what's called a myocardial infarction or an actual heart attack. Now, this woman was kind of having bony angina attacks, where there wasn't enough circulation and the blood vessels inside the bone. So the bone tissue was screaming out, and that was the pain that she was feeling when that insufficiency progressed from a certain point, the bone started dying at which point it suddenly started showing up in the scans.
1 (39m 19s):
Now her body wisdom was such that she needed to keep, this is my summation of it. She needed to keep that awareness of the pain because that awareness was what took her back to the doctor to get the further investigations that ultimately ultimately led to her having a double hip replacement. And now she is once again, back at work, she's once again, able to exercise, she's lost all the weight that she'd put on Jews and the mobility, you know, that was the outcome that her body and its wisdom was taking her toward. And if the error had worked and I don't think it could have, but if it had, we would have essentially cut off her ability to experience that feedback from her body as to what its needs were.
2 (40m 14s):
I can picture a person in that situation and even myself at some points, getting out of that session and thinking, Oh, I failed, you know, doing that test and realizing the pain wasn't gone and perhaps self experiencing some self-flagellation. And I know when I was a hairstylist that I would mess up a color, I would say, Oh, I just need to stop doing hair and go find something else to do. And I, I find myself sometimes doing the same thing as a hypnotist. And so I love that you approached it with this, let's see attitude, and that you were able to reframe that what some people would consider a failure as an actual success.
2 (40m 54s):
Again, going back to her body's wisdom, her unconscious mind knew what was best for her and gave her that experience, even though it wasn't what you were consciously looking.
1 (41m 4s):
Yeah. And the reframe was more of a realization that I was looking at it the wrong way, that wasn't, that I needed to somehow perform some neat little language pattern, track to pretend it was something other than the model. It was. So it was that I wasn't looking at it the wrong way, but I'm just picking up on your previous comment about year, when things go wrong. Look at some very unusual week when I don't have moments of absolute despair
3 (41m 34s):
Thinking, what on earth am I doing that? Also the outcome that I was looking for, you know, I was hoping that, you know, when I, I ran a particular process, I was, I was wanting the phenomenal outcomes that I usually get. And, you know, every week there's usually at least one where Jessica kind of resolved and I'm better at sniffing myself out of, out of that funk. Now I'm much better at going, Oh, I'm thinking those, those negative self-limiting thoughts, but I still have them.
3 (42m 15s):
Absolutely. And it's very easy just to fall into that. Self-critical self-flagellation or I'm I suck at this. I'm never going to be any good at those, all of those things that I thought I was gone at, water-filled wrong. One of, one of, one of one for of that, that's still absolutely a part of my makeup. It's still part of who I am. I'm just better at wrangling that particular tart and kind of getting it out of the way so that I can get onwards, helping people make the best changes.
3 (42m 58s):
2 (42m 59s):
I appreciate you saying that. That's one of the reasons I love having so many amazing hypnotists on this podcast because every single person who's been on this show underscores that, that I think one of the hardest things we do as change workers is moving past our own self doubt. It's not learning all the techniques. It's finding the courage to use them in the face of that. What I call the imposter monster saying, you suck,
3 (43m 29s):
Well, it sucks bad.
2 (43m 33s):
I love this. Will you talk to me a little bit about that? You said you had a story about morphine injections.
3 (43m 41s):
Oh yeah. I am now getting to the point where I'm thinking of letting go of my nursing registration, because it requires me to do some me hours and may I'm in the hospital saving each year. And I'm less inclined to do that these days, but there's been a big overlap where I've been still working in the emergency room, you know, maybe one or two days a week. And as long as well as doing my, the gnosis practice, I had a client come in a patient, I should say, because of the hospital, their patients, I had a patient come in and he was in severe pain.
3 (44m 26s):
He had recently had a, yeah, he, it was a hip replacement
1 (44m 34s):
And he had the surgical dressing still on his right hip. And he was, I honestly thought when I saw him, I thought, Oh, this is a man with kidney stomachs because the pain that people have with kidney stones feathers, I'm sorry for those of you who have given birth, it's apparently worse than labor pain. I've been told that by women who had given birth and had kidney stones. Yeah. Childbirth. I used to think that was 10 out of 10. Now that's nine. Can this, the answer is 10. This guy looked like he was passing kidney stones. He was on so much panic. Now, as it happened in the emergency department, there had been a couple of ambulances come in with some major trauma.
1 (45m 17s):
So I knew that there was no way that I was going to be able to find a doctor free, to prescribe the pain relief for this guy. And then once the pain relief is prescribed the morphine that has to be signed out by two different nurses and they will keep a drug. Same for them. The everything is locked away. So I told him, you know, all this pain that you're in, absolutely we can stick in an Ivy. We can give you some morphing and because of how the department is right now, as the sooner that we're going to be able to get you out of that pilot was about 20 minutes.
1 (45m 59s):
If you want to, I can help you with this pain right now, just using more. We'll just see whether we can do this right. They're using hypnosis. And he was so desperate to get out of that pain, but he was absolutely happy for me to do this. Now I know that there is this wisdom that you should never actually doing anything without a doctor's say so, but in this case, there was no way of getting to a doctor and, you know, ethically I stand behind what I did and the outcome was phenomenal. His pain went from 10 out of 10 to zero, just running their technique on them. And the only way that I can reconcile that in my head is that how does morphine work?
1 (46m 46s):
It works by loading up pain receptors are, what do you form? A, the endorphin that the parts, the little note, the parts inside of our signups is that available for morphine at the same part set available for endorphins, our brains can produce these endorphins. I think running the Aerotek technique for somebody with padding, they just produce this amazing internal pain relief stuff. That's what he did.
2 (47m 22s):
That's brilliant. And his, his unconscious mind recognized that he was at the hospital. He's there to get help at that pain signal is no longer and was able to just turn it off based on, I always tell my clients is if you'll use your imagination, the unconscious mind speaks the language of imagination. And it's like you said earlier, as long as they're willing to, to pay attention and to do their best, they're going to get that result.
1 (47m 48s):
Yeah. I have trouble with the whole concept of the unconscious mind. I think, you know,
2 (47m 54s):
Talk to me, talk to us about that.
1 (47m 58s):
I was thinking this morning while I was doing the ironing, I was thinking about that the unconscious mind and what is, you know, they, they approach that I was trained with laws. There is this thing called an unconscious mind, and you can talk to it and it can, it can, it can have a voice. And then somewhere else. And the land of nurses' theory, there's this idea of parts and, you know, parts terribly. And you can, you can access the different parts and the different parts can have a voice.
1 (48m 39s):
That's like, hold on a second, hold on a second. So as the unconscious mind than just the part, is there even such a thing as the unconscious mind, I'm, I'm grappled with the whole idea of the unconscious, the subconscious, the super-conscious, whatever. I was hearing so many different conflicting models from so many different people who each of them I respected, but their models didn't match up. So I was like, well, what's actually going on. Now, the model that I have is based in the brain, absolutely.
1 (49m 26s):
Our brains have you can, you can consider what our brains do to have two different qualities. There is the, the part which is conscious, which is that we identify with it's where our focus is, where our willpower sits. And then there's only automatic stuff. Now I talk to people and instead of using the words unconscious mind, I sometimes talk to them about the automatic brain, or I'll talk about the automatic part of who you are.
1 (50m 7s):
A really nice metaphor for those who have iPhones is the idea of Surrey. Now, Siri doesn't actually exist. There is no little person inside the iPhone, and yet she's really useful. Okay. I see the brain as being, I mean, we, we know what the brain is that now the brain is more rightly of as being more like an internet. Then like a computer.
1 (50m 48s):
When I did my hell, when I went all the way back when I did my psychology degree, we were more or less taught. The brain is like a computer. Every brain cell is like a transistor these days, the thinking as much more like every brain cell is like a little computer, which means our entire brains. I'm much more like an intimate of, you know, 89 billion computers or network together. So there was this phenomenal capacity for information processing now,
3 (51m 24s):
1 (51m 28s):
Propose to a completely naive client. If we propose to them that there is some way of excess in this intelligence and that that intelligence can speak to us with a voice, then that intelligence absolutely on the fly, we'll create a voice that we can communicate with. And that is what people are usually talking to when they talk about talking to the subconscious mind. Now, one of the reasons that I don't really like the, the term subconscious as I think that that intelligence is more conscious than we are, and we've all heard. And we all probably use them.
1 (52m 10s):
Example of highway hypnosis that when we're driving along the road is actually driving the damn car. And it's true. You know, the automatic intelligence that some phenomenal intelligence of our time urology as beautifully operating our bodies, it's beautifully responding to road conditions, perfect conditions. It's doing all of that. That's conscious while we're unconscious, while we're singing along to whatever songs on the radio or fretting about being late for whatever appointment we might be going to, or, you know, complaining bitterly about how long it's taking them to repair the road or all of that stuff, while we're doing that, our intelligence is responding and adapting beautifully to the external environment in our internal environments.
1 (53m 0s):
It's doing all of that. So yeah, I've I say
3 (53m 6s):
1 (53m 10s):
The brain is consisting this phenomenal capacity for intelligence and almost all of that happens automatically. So I know that we're only about metaphors
3 (53m 26s):
And I'm not saying that the metaphor of the subconscious mind as poor quality or less useful, but for me, I stumbled on those words. So for me, I kind of talk about, you know, it's the automatic part of who you are. I haven't got a nice, neat little, two word phrase yet that will encapsulate that. But you know, subconscious mind to me does that intelligence and profound disservice.
2 (53m 59s):
It's so interesting how great that your timing is of, of mentioning this because I was just creating a signup page for a protocol I'm getting ready to do. That's based on parts work and I was writing and I, I put that unconscious part of you and I thought that doesn't really make sense. And so you were putting, creating so much clarity in my head and giving me a model that's so much more useful and resonates more. So is this intelligence synonymous? Is this the part that you are referring to when you talk about the automatic part of who you are? It's that intelligence?
3 (54m 37s):
Yeah. There's a science fiction book that I really love, which has nothing to do with what we're talking about, except kind of maybe everything to do with it. It's by a writer called Phillip K Dick among other things wrote the book, that blade runner. It was based on his, he was a phenomenal guy. The, the author himself was absolutely interesting. He had this amazing experience when he answered the door one day wanting some pain medication, which was being delivered to him. And the woman came to the door and she was wearing one of those little Christian fish medallions around her neck.
3 (55m 21s):
And then the moment that he saw that medallion, something profound happened inside the mind of Philip K Dick. And he underwent a transformational experience where he started being able to speak ancient Greek. He was able to diagnose a potentially life-threatening birth defect and his son, he suddenly knew that he had to get her son to the doctor. And the doctor found that you did have this potentially incarcerating and earlier that needed surgery, all kinds of phenomenal things happened, which was maybe him being opened up to that vast, intelligent cause of who he was.
3 (56m 8s):
But Phillip Dick wrote this book about that experience called valets V a L I S, and violences an acronym. And it's in the book. It means something completely different or not. But Viola stands for the vast active living intelligence system. And to me, that's what we're dealing with the unconscious mind. Sometimes I'll, I'll, I won't use the word violence because that would jar people out of the process. But I will talk about, you know, the vast active living intelligence system you are.
3 (56m 48s):
And to me, that's what that's, that is, that's the playground. That's where we are, where we're dealing with this phenomenal capacity to, to change and to grow. There's a saying, I want to get it word perfect, but I'll try to get it perfect enough so that you can look up the actual saying that's something along the lines of, if their brains were so simple that we could understand them, we would be so simple that we couldn't and how brains, anyone who thinks that if we're going to understand neuroscience, not in this lifetime, honey, just know that is just so phenomenal.
3 (57m 39s):
I understand enough to know that I will, I will never fully understand I'm only peddling from the shallows, but when you, when you think about what's involved in the brain, 89 billion neurons, every single neuron on average connected to connected directly to 7,000 others, that's just, mind-boggling the fact that the Brians can make new connections at the rate of a million every second, whether you're awake, whether you're asleep, whether you're even in a coma, the potentiality in that it's more than we can possibly conceive off.
3 (58m 21s):
So the only attitude that I feel that I can absolutely take to that mystery is humility and, or, and reverence. And every client who walks through the door, carries their potentiality inside them. And it's that, that I am in service of. It's quite,
2 (58m 47s):
I brought you here for my audience. I know I'm getting so much. I can feel my own confidence. And like, for lack of a better word, self-esteem growing, just thinking of this paradigm of this way of thinking about ourselves without that word unconscious. And I you're, you're like I can feel my own paradigm shifting as you're speaking. Will you talk to me about how the idea of parts work fits into this, this idea, this paradigm, this metaphor?
3 (59m 24s):
Okay, well, we're going to have to go to Switzerland.
2 (59m 26s):
Okay. I'm game
3 (59m 30s):
Loosen or Losan as they, I believe call it, there are some very, very, very, very, very smart people. I'm sure they all have PhD is multiple PhDs and they are working on this thing called the blue brain project. I think that's what I think I've remembered it correctly. And what they are attempting to do is to identify the way that neural networks hang together. Now, what's really fascinating and compelling to me. If we just come back to those ideas that every neuron we have connects to intimately directly connects to 7,000 others.
3 (1h 0m 13s):
The fascinating finding that these folks in Switzerland have come up with as that the neurons tend to work together in little subgroups, they formed these sort of tightly knit work groups, and they maximum population size for one of those work groups. Isn't 7,000, it's 12, any more than 12. And the group falls apart, it can't hold together. It doesn't cohere it all. So they call these things clicks or clicks, you know, like you Cliq UAE.
3 (1h 0m 52s):
Okay. So we have all these clicks inside, inside our brain. Every neuron never favoring neuron can connect to 7,000 others, but it can only actually be in a work group with 12 at the most. Then somehow that means that every neuron must be doing must be participating in a number of different cliques form at the same time. So how can it possibly, how can these cliques hold together? I can't be a structural thing because of everything connects to 7,000 others, then that just, that's just not going to work. So the only thing that can possibly explain these groups, holding together, that's the way they communicate with each other.
3 (1h 1m 41s):
So there are two things that two things about neurons that make them particularly suited to the task. One of them is their ability to form connections. And the other is the fact that they have all the cells they're able to generate electrical inputs. They're able to process electrical inputs, they're able to transmit them. So my idea is that you have these little bunches of sounds that passing a little electrical charge around, and maybe there's only 10 or 12 cells. And one of these groups, maybe we need more than one of these groups.
3 (1h 2m 22s):
Maybe you get missed and hierarchies, and these clicks or clicks. We get these subsystems where there might be a little tangle, or maybe there's a thousand neurons all involved in doing something. And yet the functional units. And it's just maybe only had done something. Every one of these as a group that has and attention, which has carrying out a specific function, then every one of those groups has potentially a part. So when we talk about parts therapy, how many parts can we have? Oh boy. Now we have to go hustling.
3 (1h 3m 4s):
I have a friend term as a certified math genius. I am a certified math idiot, but I asked her how many clicks could they possibly be in the human brain? And she needed a little information. I said, okay, here are our assumptions. 89 billion let's assume 89 million brain cells. Let's assume that every click has 12 members. Now we don't know that they don't. They might only have term that might be at the bell curve. And the most common one is 700 nights, but let's assume that they all have 12.
3 (1h 3m 47s):
And let's assume that every neuron can connect to 7,000 others. How many clicks could be made? Well, she didn't reply to me for a while and I kind of got a bit grumpy with her. And I said, you know, what's the answer? And she got very round. He met with me and she said, I don't think you've got any idea how big this number is. And I say, Oh, I know it's a big number. And she says, I've done know how big this conference? And she sent me this formula, which was that might as well have been Sumerian or hieroglyphics. It was all calculus and have all kinds of bits and pieces. But I saw numbers in there.
3 (1h 4m 31s):
I saw parts of the formula that made sense to me. One of the paths was the factorial side. Now the factorial side looks like an exclamation Mark and effect tutorial very simply means when you have the factorial of the number, it's that number times, every other number, possibly lower than now, to give you an example, the factorial of three would be three times, two times one. So that's six. The factorial is four will be four times, three times, two times one. So that's 24. Every time you go up, the number gets massively bigger.
3 (1h 5m 12s):
One of the numbers that we're dealing with and they answer to this question as 9 billion factorial, She said, finally, she said to me, if you want to know how big this number has, we will need to rent time on a supercomputer. I can't even tell you how much time we would need to rent on the supercomputer. Finally, to get me off her back. She said, if that helps, I can tell you with a hundred percent confidence, the number of clicks and the human brain is more than the number of stars in the known universe.
3 (1h 5m 53s):
Now that's not more than the number of stars in the night sky, because a lot of those things we look at that we think of a stance are actually galaxies. This is more than the number of stars in the known universe. So that's potentially how many parts we're dealing with. I know it's just puts me on my, on my backside every time it just knocks me down. That's that as the phenomenal capability that all of our clients have and who we have,
2 (1h 6m 34s):
Do you have a favorite story, a favorite transformation story, maybe someone that came in and you thought, I don't know if I can help this person. And
3 (1h 6m 46s):
I, I don't. I, yeah, the one that comes immediately to mind was a little girl she's died. Now. She had a brain tumor. She was in severe pain following the radio therapy that she had and her parents came to see me to see, was there anything that I could do to help this little girl now, Laurie? I don't know what came over me. I truly don't because this is not how I have ever conducted myself before.
3 (1h 7m 30s):
Afterwards. This was just something working for me, I guess. I don't know. But I saw this little girl now I'd heard a few stories about him because my wife had seen her and had described what kind of a girl she wants to. When she came to see me, I looked at her, got down to her level and I said, I hear you've got a really amazing imagination. And she just very, very proud. She was just absolutely the most delightful, delightful presence. And I said, can you show me where that's the payments?
3 (1h 8m 10s):
And she pointed to the Spock sinuses. That's where they, it was really hurting and all in depth was how I reached out to my, I touched on that spot. I said, could you imagine that my finger is like a, sort of like a magic vacuum cleaner? And like, yeah, that's easy. You know, what did to get me to imagine something that was, that was very easy for her. I said, could you imagine that I can just start sucking all of the pain out of there? I said, what I want you to do is just imagine me doing that.
3 (1h 8m 54s):
And let me know when the pain has dropped down to half the level that it is right now. And so she looked at me very intently and I just kept my finger back. And then your eyes suddenly went really wide. And she said, that's all gone. And that, I don't know. She, she just looked absolutely delighted. I don't know whose jaw dropped more mine or her mum or dad, but all of us were just, and this was, they had only just stepped inside the door. I hadn't done any intake.
3 (1h 9m 35s):
I hadn't, I'd introduce myself. And it was just one of these magical moments. I don't know that we need to build a protocol around the magic vacuum, clean up pain protocol. It was just something that came out of the moment. It was something where the automatic part of me just recognize that, you know, okay, let's forget all about this hypnotherapy and nonsense. Let's just yearly sum. And let's just get this thing done.
3 (1h 10m 16s):
I w it was lovely to be an instrument of that process. I don't feel that it came from me. I feel like it came through me. It was phenomenal. Yeah.
2 (1h 10m 29s):
I love that. Will you talk to me a little bit about how you have, how you have started to, how you generated your hypnosis business, how you bring in clients, how you make yourself more visible, just because I know that's such a common thing that people wonder about in this industry.
3 (1h 10m 52s):
Yeah. I am not the world's best business person. I can always use more clients. Most of my clients now come through word of mouth. All people look up on Google and see the testimonials saved. They, the reviews that I, that I have, I absolutely do recommend networking groups. If you have a networking group, like BNI is a really good investment, just in terms of a gives you practice week after week of getting up and honing your pitch, getting really clear on how to do you know, how to say in 60 seconds water is that you can do.
3 (1h 11m 41s):
And it's also a great, generally speaking inside of a group, there'll be a number of people in that group who will seek out your services and they will refer onto other people. Word of mouth is the absolute best way to get clients. I am just now starting to get the confidence to create videos and to start putting them online. I'm doing part-time and the practice group that we set up as part of your three-day challenge. And I have set myself a challenge of doing a video of a guy for 366 days of decided I'm going to do it a year and a day.
3 (1h 12m 28s):
And I'm guessing up to about day 15 or 16 by now, very, very simple, short videos. It's all about getting confident about the ability to just talk to that scary level camera and just say what's real. So I would say though, I'm not an expert that will make a difference. Certainly I've only so far. I've only actually put one of, of all the videos that I've done. I've managed to create one video that as well, I'm going to share this on my actual page. I did that and got a client book within half an hour of me posting their videos.
3 (1h 13m 11s):
So I think I'm getting comfortable with video and Samsung via higher powerful thing to do. Another thing that I would recommend is just use this whenever you can. Once I was shopping and I saw a man shuffling along and a lot of pain with a walking frame, and I said, look, forgive me if I'm intruding and tell me to go away if you want to. But it looks to me like you're in a lot of pain and I help I'm hope I can help with that. And long story short, he ended up sitting down on it.
3 (1h 13m 55s):
It was kind of like, I'm guessing like a Walmart or a Costco for your American people. It was a big retail thing. So he's sitting on a, I wouldn't tell it on what Chaz, a whole lot of 20 kilos sex of dog biscuits. He's just sitting on that and I'm just down. I'm squatting on my lunches and I ran the arrow with him. You can do that kind of thing. You can just allow yourself, you know, worst case scenario. You fall flat on your face. You never see that person again, no harm, no foul, but maybe just, maybe you're able to access that phenomenal capacity for change that they have.
3 (1h 14m 40s):
And you can create amazing results and certainly get business cards, hand them out, but get the word out there. Just let people know that you're good at what you do. And over time, people will find you. There are ways to speed the whole process up, you know, you can, I'm not the best person to talk about that time. The best person to talk about that hands down, I think would be Jason, who I met and has worked smart. Hypnosis podcast has been an invaluable resource for me, has worked smart.
3 (1h 15m 20s):
Hypnosis has painted membership group is phenomenal. There are so much content in there that I have barely only scratched the surface of, but yeah, for anyone doing the stuff, there are really three parts of being a successful hypnotherapists that you need to attend to. One is you absolutely need to retain to business skills. You need to get those. If you can't be successful in business, then you can't help people. The second thing is that absolutely need a skillset that you can rely on.
3 (1h 16m 1s):
And so you need to master one or two approaches that, you know, will empower you turn to help people create change. And then the third thing that you need to do is you need to do the self work. You need to address the fears that you might have. You know, all the doubts that you have about yourself as a, as a therapist, you're not special. You're not the only one who's had those doubts. I mean, you are special, but you're not the only one who's had those doubts. And absolutely those doubts are being generated by the automatic part of who you are.
3 (1h 16m 44s):
And so they can be changed. Find somebody that you feel comfortable and confident, and just put your hand up and say, you know, I'm struggling with a lot of self-doubt. Can you help with that? If you don't know anybody pick me. I work with people over certain. Laurie works with people. I've observed a lot. So with people over certain, just reach out to somebody and say, can you help me this issue? Get that stuff out of the way, because that self-doubt as really, that self-indulgent as getting in the way of you being of service to the suffering planet.
2 (1h 17m 24s):
And I want to clarify, just because so many people, one of the reasons people's imposter monster gives them to wait is that they haven't arrived yet. So when you say self work, do the work on yourself, correct me if I'm wrong, but you're not saying that a person needs to have arrived and they need to have all their problems fixed before they start. Correct?
3 (1h 17m 46s):
I don't know. I don't know if I'll ever arise while running. I don't know if I will ever have, right, but you don't have to be perfect. You don't have to deal with the stuff that gets in the way. So if there is stuff that's in the way of you being effective, then work on that. But don't, don't think you're not good enough to help clients because it's not about you anyway. It's about them. They have, they have the capacity. If you're having blocks about your ability to help them find their capacity, then don't stop seeing people and get some, get some work to help yourself get some mentoring printers, set up a meetup group with other people that you've trained with practice with each other.
3 (1h 18m 40s):
That's fine. You don't need to be perfect because you already are.
2 (1h 18m 45s):
Absolutely. All right. And I just took a quick intermission to grab some water and dairy. If we were to get back to the idea of working with clients and doing this change work, can you talk to me about the role of feelings and emotions inside that process?
3 (1h 19m 5s):
That's a great question.
2 (1h 19m 6s):
3 (1h 19m 10s):
It's been said that all of our clients come to us because they are having issues with feeling. They're feeling usually the three primary feelings that they're either feeling purely or in combination of anger, fear, or grief, and those things can kind of interact. We can get different blends of those feelings the way in which something like the arrow, or indeed any of our really powerful change processes work as by Melissa's my theory.
3 (1h 19m 53s):
It's by overwhelming those little cliques, which are currently embodying the, if we can call it the problem state or the expression of that person's problem, that particular problem always in my experience always carries inside of it, an emotional energy and that energy, maybe fear, maybe sadness, maybe guilt, maybe whatever. But there is, there is usually a profound feeling which is embodied and that particular part of the person's experience.
3 (1h 20m 33s):
Now, I think that what we do when we work successfully is we have somehow connecting the part of the person. Now you might call this a resource state. You might call it whatever you like, but there is a part of the person which carries or can carry an energy, which has completely incompatible with the energy of the problem state. Now inside of the hour and process, as it was taught to me, Freddie talks about the feeling of unconditional love. And certainly that is one of the most powerful energies.
3 (1h 21m 17s):
Since someone can experience unbelieve, it's more powerful than any of the others. No inside of there are what we can do. Get somebody in contact with that energy. And that's quite simple. We can just say, allow the automatic part of your, to give you something that will feel like a memory. And inside of that memory, you can be feeling a powerful feeling of joy of love. And then we wait and we calibrate when we can see that the person is starting to respond to them.
3 (1h 21m 57s):
Then inside of the Aero process, we just simply use the metaphor of floating upwards floating out of the body as a way of encouraging the automatic parts of them to increase the power of that positive emotion. When we get that positive emotion, absolutely powerfully expressed and inside of the feeling of unconditional love, it can be almost like a blissful, euphoric, latent experience when somebody is inside of that, then because our brains do make these phenomenal connections very, very quickly, as quickly as imagining a pink kid, child wearing a bowler hat, we can get the brain to make a connection between that powerful, emotional, positive state.
3 (1h 22m 55s):
We can just link that powerfully to the feeling which has powering their particular problem. When we get the right feeling, when we identify that feeling accurately. And that's where, you know, testing comes in, you know, on a scale from one to 10, how powerful is that feeling when we've got the right feeling? And we are able to connect that feeling into this moment where they are experiencing that powerful, unconditional love. It's not a fair fight. The unconditional love will win out here every single time. The two things connect together, that little bunch of clicks or clicks, which is running the, the fear or running the anger.
3 (1h 23m 44s):
Every time it tries to complete that circuit. It's got these new connections that join it up to this other network, which has producing vast amounts of unconditional. Love it soon realized is that it's no longer able to fulfill its function and it switches off. And that's how I think we did these phenomenal rapid change processes happening. I believe it's an electrical process. I believe that's the process of just switching off those clicks or clicks that are currently keeping the excuse me, which are currently keeping the problem state active.
3 (1h 24m 27s):
Now, those things aren't there because we have part of us hate to react on one sense to be miserable, those negative. If we can call them negative States are only there because at some point in our lives through whatever challenges we've faced, at some point in our lives, those feelings have been a powerful part of our emotional experience in those moments. And the automatic part of who we are is always looking to enrich other understanding of what's going on in the world. And so it just absolutely makes a perfect record. It creates a perfect record of dominance, powerful emotions.
3 (1h 25m 12s):
And then, because it's an automatic thing, it just runs those things automatically home from a, again, they're not necessary when they're not necessary, they can be switched off. So that in a nutshell, I think that's what the change processes. Now it's been put quite beautifully in terms of, they made a pattern of change about associated the mental problems. They dissociate them from the problems they associate the, to the resource state and then associate the resource state into the problems that that's very succinct. But unless you fully understand how that applies, it can be difficult to say how to, how to use that understanding powerfully inside of your process.
3 (1h 25m 59s):
But I think that that, that parent, which does come from John overdose, that Patton does absolutely underline all the changes that people are able to create for themselves.
2 (1h 26m 15s):
When you bring people into the feeling and you really tune into that feeling, do you have them tune into their body and see what the felt senses? Or do you have them describe the feeling in some other way?
3 (1h 26m 29s):
Yeah. All of that. When, when someone, when someone says, you know, I want to, I want to stop smoking for example. Okay. What's it like for you when you need a cigarette? What's the, when, tell me about the times when you really crave to have a cigarette, what does it feel like? You know, whereabouts in your body do you feel that, Oh, I will be all the time. I'm looking for how they are responding more than what they're actually saying, but I am listening to what they're saying. I'm listening for those words that indicate that. Yeah. They're talking about how fulfilling sites.
3 (1h 27m 15s):
Sometimes you've got to be a little bit sneaky a little bit. Well, not sneaky, but it's important to not necessarily take people at their word. It's always good to inquire a little data. And I can tell you a really wonderful client story around this process of inquiry. I'm not always a hundred percent on top of my game, but this particular day I was, I had a woman come to see me. And she said, I've got, I've got an anger problem. You know, I need help with this anger angry all the time.
3 (1h 27m 56s):
And did she, wasn't angry with me and she didn't seem to me to be angry. And so I asked, you know, when you say you're angry all the time, what do you mean? She says, well, I'm always yelling at my kids. Okay. Do you yell at anyone else? Like, you know, do you yell at people in stores or, you know, people tradespeople, do you yell at people in the street? No. She only ever yelled at her. So I thought, okay, this isn't somebody with a generalized anger problem who was sort of, you know, waving the Fest of the world.
3 (1h 28m 37s):
Now in my intake process, I've already knew some of this woman's back story. She had told me that when she was four years old, her dad went out. He said, I'm just off to the shops. I don't know what for we'll make something up. I'm just going to the store to buy some bread. She never saw him again. Now he didn't die. Presumably he had a suitcase packed in the trunk of the car and he had his girlfriend waiting on the corner of the street and he just took off and left and she never saw him again. Now what can a four year old girl doing with that?
3 (1h 29m 18s):
She can, she can come to one of two conclusions, either one conclusion, one, I live in a world where terrifying things happen at random or conclusion term. I must be a really terrible person for this sort of happened to me clearly, option term say safer answer. It gives her a sense of power. So she needed to have this idea that she was a terrible person. Now, when you're a mom of two kids, what's the best. What's the most efficient way of proving your, a terrible visit of meeting that deep Nate yell at your children.
3 (1h 30m 5s):
So we did nothing in that session about working with anger. What we focused on was the grief that she was still carrying over philosophy debt when she was four. So yeah, sometimes you need to look beyond the initial appearances. And while you can respect what people are saying, be aware that the person who's saying that that's the conscious seven bits of information at once. Tiny little part of the vast active living intelligence system that they are.
3 (1h 30m 45s):
She was telling me one thing with her conscious, whether it words her entire body was telling me something entirely different picking up on that body language, the tonality, they, all those other things that we might train ourselves to calibrate. You know, many of which can't even be formulated little and articulate and put into words that you could learn, but we know them because we feel them tightly. What we're designed to do anyway, listening to that wisdom can often take us to the right part. And when we, when we find the right place to apply a change with it, that's when clients can create absolute memorables.
2 (1h 31m 30s):
I love that you keep coming back to that, that you know, the clients can create their miracles. And you had fed earlier that the results of the client's creation and I wrote down magic is embodied in the client's neurology. And I, I think when we keep reminding ourselves of that, it's like you said, it takes that pressure off. And we're just simply the guides.
3 (1h 31m 52s):
What a relief. That's not on me.
2 (1h 31m 57s):
Yes. It really is. What would you, do you ever have a client who maybe the idea of love, love is almost a loaded word for them. And when you talk about unconditional love, they, they resist the idea of letting that be their superpower that just obliterates of those other negative States.
3 (1h 32m 17s):
Oh yeah. This one person, again, it was somebody I was working with at the hospital and she had some abdominal pain. And one of the questions that I asked most of my clients, do, you know, do you have any children? I mean, I don't ask them if they're children, of course, but you know, if somebody is in later life, I say, do you have any children? And you know, most people have children. And I assumed I no longer make this assumption that I assumed that a few ed children, then you know, something of unconditional heart, this woman had children. She said, I don't know.
3 (1h 32m 57s):
I don't know what you're talking about. You know, I had them, I don't love them. I've never loved them. I never will love them. I just, absolutely. We have this wonderful word. And this part of the mill gobsmacked GABA is a wood, meaning a mouth and a smack is like a, it was like a punch in the mouth. She just gobsmacked me with this idea that she was a mom who had four kids and had no idea what unconditional love was. Now. She would have been a fantastic person to work with and explore what her world look like that unless I never saw her again. But, you know, and do we have clients and unconditional love?
3 (1h 33m 40s):
Isn't a, isn't something that they can necessarily relate to. Sometimes people have a particular feeling for pets. Sometimes people have a feeling for caring. You can actually just do it with fun, any powerful, positive feeling. Now there's a, there is a whole strand of hypnosis that works entirely in using sexual managing. Now I don't do that, but in terms of primary ethic theories, sexual arousal is one of the powerful ones that you can use.
3 (1h 34m 23s):
But you know, the, the positive ones that you can use, curiosity, sexual arouse, or unconditional love and play. Those are the four powerful, positive ethics. I think a lot of the patterns and protocols and things that we use inside of hypnosis. I honestly think it's curiosity, curiosity. When we, when we were able to take our clients through suggesting we're able to take them through a series of experiences they've never had before, you know, even something as simple as going through a doorway and going down some steps that, that arouses, that feeling of curiosity inside people, unconditional love will be there curiosity and free time.
3 (1h 35m 11s):
And, but if you don't have unconditional love inside of a person to draw and being absolutely that feeling of joy, the feeling of pleasure in a powerful, positive, emotional state, I have yet to meet anyone who hasn't been able to access at least some parts of who they are, whether it's a powerful, positive emotion. And normally what I say to people is, you know, once I'd feel that I have their attention and that we are indeed engaged in that process, I'll say just close your eyes and imagine that the automatic part of you can give you something that will feel like a memory that doesn't matter whether it either happened or not.
3 (1h 35m 56s):
It might be a composition. It might be that weather from this day and the people for that day wearing the clothes from another day, it doesn't matter. But the automatic part of you can give you something that will feel like a memory and all that matters about this experience is there to be a moment where you feel good. So there's laughter perhaps you can see smiles, perhaps you can feel yourself smiling inside of that moment. And then I just leave it for that. Person's automatic path to painting the picture for me, I just kind of create some boundary conditions.
3 (1h 36m 39s):
I create a sense, an expectation, a few lines of what might be possible. And then I let the client feel better.
2 (1h 36m 49s):
I hope I'm not the only one taking notes. You were giving some of the universal language patterns I wrote down, close your eyes. And imagine that the automatic part of you can give you something that feels like a memory and all that matters is that it's a moment that will feel good. And then you put some, some terms in there that just empower the client to know you're doing it right. So often people think there's a certain way they're supposed to experience this stuff. And this goes back to what you said at the very beginning. If you'll just give it your best effort, just, just be willing to play along. You are doing it right. Dairy. The biggest reason I invited you on this show is an amazing video you made in my three-day video challenge recently, that just impacted me so much.
2 (1h 37m 34s):
And I shared it with people with your permission, and it really segues into what we're talking about with unconditional love, being such a powerful way to, to break up those clicks and to create new behaviors. Will you share with us the, the writing activity that you shared on that video about helping people step a place of self-love?
3 (1h 37m 57s):
Oh yeah. I, I tracked down the source of this as well. That was a gentleman. I believe he has since left the church. He was a, he was a Catholic priest by the name of Clive Lytton, L I T T high in, and he put out this little guide book on how to use affirmations. And it talked about laundering affirmations and laundering, affirmations as a wonderful process for accessing those parts of ourselves, which may be holding us back, which may be creating that sense of maybe being an impasto, maybe being not good enough or not worthy enough.
3 (1h 38m 42s):
And it's a really simple yet absolutely profound and elegant process. And all it requires is that you take some time and you need to writing implements. You don't actually need them. You can just do it with one, but it works best with two, maybe a black pen and a blue pen or a red crayon and a green crayon. It doesn't really matter. And you come up with some sort of affirmation that you might want to apply to yourself. I am an amazing hypnotist. It could be as simple as that, or I have, I have a phenomenal skillset to help my clients, but whatever, let's go with the face one, I'm an amazing, so you get out your piece of paper and you pick up one pen and you write down, I am an amazing competence.
3 (1h 39m 39s):
And then you listen for that critical response and the critical response might go. Yeah. Well, what about that client that didn't get a result. You get out of your other pen and then the other color you write down. Yeah. But what about that client that didn't get the result and then you say it again. I am an amazing competence. No, there is one role in one role for the critical response. It's not allowed to repeat itself. Exactly. So it has to come up with a different response each time. The other critical part of who we are, let's pretend that there's an actual person with feeling stressful moment.
3 (1h 40m 22s):
I don't know if it is, or it isn't the critical part of who likes a challenge, likes being paid attention to her. It's like, Oh, you're listening to me. You want me to, you want me to show you how smart I am? How clever I am. It's kind of like that. And so we'll go, Oh, okay. You want a different response? I'll give you a different response. You are completely useless. How do you like them? Apples? So you write down, you are completely useless. How do you like them? Evans? I am an amazing habitus life. Hell you are. I am an amazing having to touch a pig's ear.
3 (1h 41m 7s):
You are. I'm an amazing habitus. No, you're not. I'm an amazing helplessness. No, you're not nine on that to say no, you're not twice. Okay. You absolutely are not. And it might take you a page of my tech here. A couple of pages. Eventually you'll get to a place where the automatic part of who you are as that automatic critical path has exhausted its repertoire. I cannot come up with a new thing to say to you. And at that point it kind of gives up the Jessica. Oh well I'm an amazing feminist. Yes. Yeah. All right.
3 (1h 41m 47s):
I'm in the raising of new chest. Absolutely. You are. When you get to a place where that internal critical voice is now a hundred percent support anymore affirmation, then the inflammation can be considered to be laundered at, is now ready to wear. So you can now save it to yourself in front of the mirror, holding a candle, or, you know, at sunset or under the stars or in the bedroom closet or wherever you want to say it, you can think of to yourself while you're working with your clients. That's really for years, because that will no longer be automatically counted by that critical voice inside which isn't out to get you.
3 (1h 42m 34s):
That's only always just, I believe just testing your commitment, right? And making a statement about who you are. And it's doing the equivalent of coming around, kicking the times that's making, you know, do you really believe that? Let's see if you can stand up to a bit of criticism when you keep going. Eventually that criticism again. Okay. You're sincere about this, you know, all, alright. We'll support that. I don't know. That's possibly reading a whole lot more on two of them as going on, but that's sort of how I think of the process.
3 (1h 43m 16s):
Really simple. Just write out an affirmation, which has to be in the present tense ideally. And my one didn't in this case, but ideally it should have your name and now I am an amazing therapist. No, you're not. Yeah. And the present tense in a positive sense. So it shouldn't be, I'm not a bad hypnotist. That should be upon him. A good one. Why settle for good. When you can have amazing. So come up with something, come up with a nice short estimation of your own quality and then launder it and like
1 (1h 43m 53s):
Actual laundry. Sometimes you need to keep monitoring things. I get duty after a while, sometimes you have to just run that information again, have a lesson. Is there a negative, critical thing, right? Just do it again. Probably won't take as long because the first time you launder it you're laundering a whole lifetime. After afterwards when you're laundering it, you may be only laundering. They kind of do that. You've picked up in the last couple of weeks. So there is how can I explain that? Well,
2 (1h 44m 23s):
Thank you very well. I love what you said about once there, once you've laundered it, it's ready to wear. And I think, you know, so often the affirmations that we're saying to ourselves, affirmations work, if you're saying I'm a terrible hypnotist, I'm afraid you're, you're, you're wearing that affirmation. I'm not sure if affirmation is the right word, but when we, when we put them on and we try them on and we let ourselves keep reaffirming it, our, our unconscious are that okay. That automatic part of us really begin to take that on and make that belief automatic. So many of our, our negative beliefs are just things we've picked up from other people we're wearing other people's dirty laundry.
2 (1h 45m 7s):
1 (1h 45m 9s):
And of course, when we're, when we're constructing these estimations, I think it's valuable to make ones that carry that powerful, positive feeling inside of them. That's simply dry and bloodless. And don't really engage those positive States. Whether it is a, can be a sexy feeling, could be a playful feeling, could be a feeling of curiosity. It could be a feeling of absolute unconditional love for ourselves when we can and view the affirmation. You know, if we've got words that inspire that feeling inside of us, that so much more powerful,
2 (1h 45m 51s):
This has been so amazing. Dairy. Is there anything we haven't touched on? That's important for people to understand before we say goodbye.
1 (1h 46m 0s):
Oh, so much more. We could easily do another one of these in a year's time. Yeah. One thing I'd just like to say, I don't have any product out yet. I am currently working on two books. I have the titles. One of them is called remodeling hypnosis. The other book is called the possibilities engine. And I'm working on those now. And I've, I've reengaged my business partner to crack the book to make sure that I had produced the output. So I do fully expect that they will both be out next year.
1 (1h 46m 43s):
In the meantime, if anyone wants to get in contact with me, if anybody wants to work with me, either for mentoring or they just want to pick my brain or whatever, I'm absolutely available to do that. My face structure is whatever you charge for your clients for your time. I'd like to charge you that for my time. So for beginning practitioners who are maybe only charging 50 bucks for an hour, that's fine. I'll work with you for $50. You know, I just want to help the biggest number of people that I can. And there is so much suffering in the world, which is needless and people are in so much need of empowerment that if I can empower people to empower others, then that makes my, my mission so much easier.
0 (1h 47m 39s):
This is amazing. And I just want to tell everyone who's listening. I, I, 100% recommend going to see dairy. He has such a powerful presence. I, he and I have only connected virtually like this and Daria. I would just want to say to you personally, I'm so grateful that you are making video. You have given me so much with the videos that you have been making. And I am so excited that you're putting these out. I can't wait until you're putting them out to the whole world that they just are going viral. That one video you made is what brought us here today. And who knows, maybe when my podcast goes viral, you'll have even more people getting this light, getting their hands on this life.
0 (1h 48m 22s):
Changing message. So thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here for your true compassion and humility. I'm so grateful to you and I'm grateful to everyone. Who's listening have an amazing day, everyone.
1 (1h 48m 35s):
Yeah. Thank you, Lori. I've absolutely enjoyed connecting with you and yeah. Keep doing what you do. You're you're an inspiration to me and to 70 on this.
0 (1h 48m 45s):
Thank you, dairy. I'm so grateful. You've listened all the way to the end. What is one tiny action step you'll take now based on an aha moment you got during the podcast, maybe that life changing action step is to come accept the gift I have for [email protected] Head there right now to get your powerful, hypnosis audio, the answer room that lets you make important decisions and get crystal clear about your next step forward on this path of purpose in your one. Great and precious life.