How can you 'Live in the moment'?
By Lori Hammond
Coach and Professional Hypnotist. Giving you simple tools to stop overwhelm and harness joyful forward momentum.
My daughter showed me a valuable truth today.
We were eating chocolate cake. (Yes, I sometimes eat chocolate cake.)
My daughter, Cassie, and I chose the cake for the creamy mousse center even though neither of us cares for cake.
After we took a couple bites she laughed and said, "I wish I would've just thrown the cake away and eaten the mousse inside!"
I realized both our cakes looked the same...
We had both eaten the spongey, dry, tasteless layer of cake to get it out of the way so we could savor the rich, delicious middle.
I felt embarrassed because I teach people to never save the best for last.
Did you know that your taste buds are fine tuned to detect pleasing flavors when you take the first bite or two during a meal?
If you close your eyes and pay close attention, you discover that the flavors diminish with every bite, especially once your stomach registers the "I'm satisfied" signal
Listening to Cassie laugh about the cake made me think about all the times I've missed out on the "messy, creamy middle" by saving the best for last.
When my kids were growing up I was always looking forward to the next stage.
I missed some of the joy of crawling in anticipation of them taking the first step.
I missed the connection of buckling them up in anticipation of when they would be out of their car seat.
I missed their watercolor paintings in anticipation of what it would take to clean up the mess.
I struggled with my weight for most of my adult life.
How many times did I miss out on life because I was waiting to be a certain size?
I missed going out with friends because my clothes were tight and I felt self-conscious.
I missed making eye contact with the checker at the store because I felt ashamed of my weight.
I didn't get on the dance floor because I felt unworthy of letting go if I was heavy.
How many times did I let perfectionism keep me from savoring the messy middle?
I missed answering the door when unexpected visitors stopped by because I didn't want them to see toys strewn across the house or toddler finger prints on the glass.
When I look back, I realize I've been saving the best for last most of my life.
As a future-focused person, I'm always striving for the next thing.
I look ahead and think...
"What if something amazing is about to happen?!!"
And it usually does.
Because life is good. Even when it's hard.
And I believe that we create our own destiny.
I don't know if that's actually true but I choose to act as if it is.
This morning I went to brunch with Janessa (my youngest) and Cassie (my middle).
It felt like spring and we sat outside. It was so warm it made my heart soar!
(I accidentally got a sunburn!)
I enjoyed their company and we had a great time.
Then I started thinking about the virtual event I wanted to plan when I got home.
I became super annoyed at the server for taking TWO WHOLE MINUTES to bring us our check.
I felt myself get antsy and twitchy and my heart started beating faster.
I snapped at my kids (oh how I hate writing that down).
I was missing the messy middle.
I'm not saying this to beat myself up or to make you feel bad if you identify with any of this.
I share this as an invitation to myself and to you.
Will you join me?
Let's savor the messy middle.
Let's give ourselves permission to notice the sound of our breakfast companion's voice while we're waiting for the check.
Let's say one nice thing to ourselves if we notice our pants feeling more "squeezy" than we'd like.
Let's take a deep breath and send a blessing when the car in front of us is going slow in the fast lane.
The following quote has helped me not feel like a failure when I notice myself putting life's creamy middle on hold...
...when I notice myself saying, "I'll enjoy life when ____ happens."
I teach this stuff! Why can't I always remember it?
Here's what Dawson Church has to say about coming back to bliss....to presence....to the messy creamy middle in the center of a chaotic life.
"We are accustomed
to believing that attaining our goals is what counts.
Surely the saint who succeeds in
attaining everlasting enlightenment is the pinnacle of perfection?
Perhaps the knucklehead who falls
from grace then picks himself up and clambers toward it again...
Only to fall back into the pit and
repeat the process...
IS doing something important.
The act of PERSISTENCE may be more
essential than the permanent attainment of bliss.
The true hero may be she who
not she who wins.
So FAIL HAPPILY.
FAIL an infinite number of times.
Falling from ecstasy isn't the
It's part of the process.
Elevate your state back to bliss.
Even if you only succeed in
maintaining it for a second.
You’re training your brain and body
to experience Serenity...
To reorient back to peace when
The practice of deliberately switching back to
Bliss may be more important than attaining Bliss itself." - Dawson Church (heavily modified by Lori Hammond 🤣)
Bliss happens when we simply notice what's happening right now...
...in the messy middle.
It can be as simple as paying attention to your breath and saying,
"I. AM. HERE."
I did it before I wrote this sentence and I invite you to do it before you read the next one.
That's pretty awesome isn't it?
What if it really can be that simple?
Have a beautiful, messy, bliss-filled week.
You are loved.
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