3 step formula to Self Confidence

By Lori Hammond

Coach and Professional Hypnotist. Giving you simple tools to stop overwhelm and harness joyful forward momentum.

The first time I read the following quote, I thought, "Yeah right" 🙄

 

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?'" - Marianne Williamson

 

I'm now convinced it's true. 

 

Every time I catch myself freaking out about a video I want to make or a business idea I want to try out, I catch myself saying things like, 

 

"What if it's not as great as I think it is?"

 

"What if I sound sales-ey?"

 

"What if it doesn't work?"

 

But those are just the conscious stories that mask the deeper issue.

 

Seth Godin says,

 

"We all want to be seen. This is also what we're afraid of."

 

What if that's the reason we're afraid of being judged? 

 

Because deep down we really want to be seen. 

 

And deep deep down (maybe really deep if you're like me) there's a part of you that knows that awesomeness is tucked inside you and it desperately wants to shine out. 

 

I could try to convince you to stop playing small and step into your greatness. 

 

But those conscious-mind strategies rarely work in the long run. 

 

So I'd rather give you a powerful tool that lets you harness confidence immediately. 

 

It might feel a little weird at first and you might feel like you're "faking it".

 

The truth is...

 

If you can "fake it", then it IS an inherent part of who you are. 

 

The following exercise unlocks the confidence that IS inside you. 

 

If you've ever felt confident...even for a moment...then you can use this confidence formula to step into confidence any time you want.

 

I double dare you to play along as you read and notice that feeling of unshakable confidence well up inside you.

 

The 3 Step Confidence Formula

 

STEP 1: Ask yourself, "Who's already really great at doing the thing I want to do?"

 

EXAMPLE: When I started making videos I thought about Mike Mandel and how he is so confident, well-spoken, and organized in his videos.

 

STEP 2: Imagine that person's 3 B's

 

There is a recipe for confidence and that recipe is created with the 3 B's

 

Breathing

 

Body Language

 

Beliefs (this is just self-talk) 

 

Right now I want you to look at a place in the room and imagine that the person who's great at the thing you want to do is doing it right there - in the room with you.

 

(Really do this right now.)

 

Notice their confidence. 

 

Imagine them doing the thing you want to do and doing it with excellence. 

 

Notice their 3 B's. 

 

How are they Breathing? 

 

What is their Body Language?

 

What kinds of things do they tell themselves in order to be so confident? 

 

These are their Beliefs. 

 

You're not allowed to say, "I don't know" for this part. Just make your best guess at what this confident person is thinking to themselves. 

 

It might be as simple as, "This is fun!"

 

EXAMPLE: When I imagined Mike Mandel making video, I noticed him Breathing deeply, his Body Language was upright, energetic, and assured. I imagined him thinking (Belief), "I'm having a blast!"

 

STEP 3: Now get up and go stand in their body. 

 

I know this is silly and it works so much better than trying to use logic or talk yourself into confidence.

 

So go stand in their body and let yourself FEEL their 3 B's.

 

Breathe the way they Breathe.

 

Match their Body Language. (Bonus points for exaggerating or being silly on this one.)

 

Match your Beliefs to their Beliefs.

 

This is easier than you think because beliefs are just recycled self-talk.  

 

Notice the way your body responds to your positive self talk!

 

Now, imagine yourself doing that thing you want to do with THIS confidence! 

 

It's yours.

 

You can unlock confidence anytime by putting on these 3 B's.

 

Here's the end of the Marianne Williamson quote at the start of this email...

 

"Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

 

You are worthy of being seen. 

 

You deserve to step into your greatness.

 

You have permission to shine!

 

It might feel really weird to step into confidence....

 

...especially if you're used to using the 3 B's of insecurity and low self-esteem. 

 

Each time you try on confidence with the 3 B recipe above, you will get more and more comfortable. 

 

Pretty soon you won't even remember what it was like to feel insecure and unworthy.

 

Where will you use the 3 B's in your day?

 

Love,

Lori